I'm trying to be objective with the information you've provided. Perhaps you had bad doctors. All those meds sound very dangerous. If you're bipolar, not having meds is dangerous.
The questions are:
Are you bipolar or not? You need a second opinion with a well-respected psychiatrist. If you have some area Bipolar Association, ask them who they recommend. (My step-daughter was mildly bipolar and when she was off her meds, she thought she was fine but she was far from it. She took one med that made her gain weight (Depakote I think) but then we switched it and she lost the weight immediately and took this other one that also treats epilepsy and it worked!
Do you have a great doctor/internist that can figure out your other health issues? Have you had a complete workup?
What kind of a person do you want to be? You aren't on illegal drugs now. If you want to be a great partner to anyone, what do you bring to the table? What are your interests? If you let yourself go and was never interested in makeup or hair, I think that it will take a very different kind of man to be attracted to you. And if he is that way too, would you remain attracted to him? Before you consider changing partners, be the best person you can be and face the fact that men are first attracted physically, then mentally and personality, then whatever else they deem important.
IF it is possible that you were a big mental and physical mess, why does anyone think your husband was mean? Maybe you were a pretty terrible mom during that time too. Give him a break. He's not trying to be attractive to you now or spark your interest. IF you don't really want to lose him until you see the best side of him again, then be your best self first. Looks like you're trying. But waking him up for sex? That wasn't thought out well. I just don't hear things bad enough about him to write him off yet.
Go get that marriage counselor/psychologist who is a relationship expert. Hopefully, one that is a behaviorist. For the children's said, agree to not flirt/take with former lovers or potential lovers during this time.
Why would you want to move the children away so that it would be hard for your children to have a relationship with their father? I hope it isn't because you are so dependent that you want someone else to support you so you can be your worst self. Take the consequences for some of your bad choices. Take responsibility for your mental and physical health. You can do this!!!
Then, if love is lost, separate under terms that are as good as you can get them for your children. Sober, both of you may not be compatible. If you are not meant for each other, then okay but do remember that he might fight for custody of the children. Based on your former issues, he might win. Keep that in mind. If you're not used to making big decisions and figuring out all the ramifications of it, that's another good reason for having a very good counselor. Show kindness and understanding of why he might have lost his love and it is natural for you to fall out of love if he is not being loving toward you. You are at a fork in the road. Make good choices from now on. Get pros to help you both. Then decide what is the right thing to do. I've been divorced to incompatible men and married to a wonderful man. It is really your decision. Just know that you do have responsibilities to first before you flip a coin.