Almost 5 Year Old Getting an Attitude

She's growing up from toddler to little girl and she is testing the waters. All of my children and grandchild did/do the same.

What I do is THE VERY FIRST TIME they speak to me with disrespect, I get down to their level, look them straight in the eyes and tell them in a VERY stern voice that they WILL NOT SPEAK TO ME THAT WAY. Because of the stern look and tone, they know I mean it and it usually is nipped in the bud right then and there. Now, they may still speak to others with disrespect, but not me. I am old school and I DO NOT TOLERATE disrespect/back talk from children.

Try & squelch it now as it will only get worse! I've seen it happen.
Things to consider & try
-she most likely is trying out her independence & trying to test limits.
So let her have SOME freedom with choices: "Do you want to wear shorts or pants?". "For lunch, do you want a sandwich or nuggets?"? etc.
-Give her some attention now before the baby comes now that you are
feeling better. Try to spend some one-on-one time. It doesn't have to be a whole day as I am sure you are super busy w/kids.
-give her some consequences for attitude/back talk. For example, explain that she is not allowed to speak to you that way, take away her favorite toy for a few hours. If you do a timeout, set the timer for 5 mins (if timeouts work for her) then explain why she was in time out and can't act like that.
Hang in there. With help, constructive criticism, some attention and some accountability......your loving, sweet daughter will return.
She's just testing boundaries & trying to get your attention.
Now that she has it, this is what you can try to do to help it.:)

My Mom's method of choice was washing our mouths out with soap.
I can still remember the taste of Ivory soap - we had a bar of it put aside for just that purpose.
I got wise quicker than my sister.
She sassed back so much I think all the soap in her mouth helped keep cavities from developing.
I never had to do that with our son
He tried it when he picked it up from pre-school (he was about 4 yrs old at the time) and I asked him why he thought it was alright to talk to me like that.
I told him I don't care if you see other kids doing it, that's not the way we talk in our house.
Talking like that hurts our feelings and I don't say things to hurt his feelings so why should he say anything to hurt mine.
We never had a problem with it again.

Yup, here too! I think it has more to do with her age than anything else. My daughter will be 5 in September and the last month or two has been like that around our house too. I think the key is to stay consistent and apply a consequence immediately. She knows the rules so she doesn't need reminders anymore, she's just testing boundaries. That's what I'm trying to do in my house anyway! ;) I'm keeping my temper in check and just directing traffic!

i think thats the common age where they are tired of listening to what theyre told to do without question and have the skills to talk back. My daughter is 5 and I J. ask her if she'd like to rethink her statement/question/comment before getting in trouble and she restates the question/comment without attitude the second time 99% of the time.
Gosh I remember my dad would ground M. every time I said something wrong and how that felt. In my eyes I was J. annoyed and stating a question...I didn't get that I was being a ____@____.com, afterall we hear our parentsd make those remarks always. I try and remember how I felt and try and not go overboard with punnishments and give her a chance to rethink her attitude before it spins out of control. Afterall, they are humans, are they not entitles to being annoyed, frustartated, to question authority...they are all things we do as adults...they J. have to learn to do it respecfully

Ahhhh my daughter is 6 and talks back!! We haven't broken her of it completely yet. When I catch her talking back to me, I stop her and try to explain to her that what she is doing is disrespectful. I explain what kind of response I expect of her (such as a "yes ma'am" and her doing what she was told!). My husband has been telling her not to "back talk", but then I realized, she doesn't know what that means! ha! So I try to stop her & explain it so she can understand. I *think* it's helping.

Good luck!

1) I highly suggest, looking online for "5 year old development and emotional development."
That way, you have an idea of what this age goes through.

2) My son is 5. He is a good kid. But at this age, it was like you said with your daughter. We are very close... and I have always nurtured a relationship with him... so because of that, when he is cantankerous, I tell him "You know better. You can tell Mommy your feelings, but not in that tone of voice." Then, I give him a chance to try again. I tell him "Redo that...." Then I wait and do whatever I am doing. And he will usually think... then say it in another way. Or if something is bothering him, I do allow him to tell me. I like for my kids to be open with me. But I tell my son about tones of voice. And wording. Kids this age, STILL need to "practice" and be taught ALTERNATE ways of saying things. Or role play with your child. To give them alternate ideas of how they CAN say things. Instead.
This usually works for my son.
And sometimes he is just frustrated or tired. So I have taught him to TELL me that. Using different tones of voice. And it helps. Because, kids are not rocket scientists about these things. It is taught. And along with any punishments or discipline you may use to curb it... you ALSO need to... show and teach the child, HOW they can also speak. Or what words to use, instead.

3) Then once you do have your baby and baby is home. I would BEFORE hand, talk with your daughter. Tell her that you are there for her... come up with a "special" word or signal that she can do with you in order to tell you things. A child, does not instantly "grow up" just because they are the "older" sibling. They are still young themselves and going through their own age-related issues or phases. But so, convey to your daughter, before baby comes home, that you and she are special always... and she can tell you things even if Mommy is busy with baby etc. They need to know, how they still fit in, with you. And Mommy is their rock. But they need to know that everyday. I did that with my daughter, before I brought my son home. My daughter's little brother.
Convey to her, that even if she is "grumpy" or "happy" or "frustrated" or just tired... she can tell you. And practice with her.... how she can speak/the words to use/the tones of voice. Make it fun. Not in a scolding manner.
That has always helped my kids. Who are now 5 and 9.

4) Also, be careful of your "expectations" of your Eldest child. Keep expectations age appropriate. Otherwise, Eldest children can sometimes have a lot of stress or frustrations, because they are always expected to be "perfect" or to act more mature than they really are and per their age. My daughter, when I had my son, her little brother... she once told me "Mommy, I'm just a little kid myself! I'm not a grown up!" Even if I regularly spent time with only her and talked with her often. But just being the "oldest" while she was still only 4 years old herself... she got frustrated.

And, kids this age, do NOT have fully developed deductive or inductive reasoning. They still need Mommy, to guide them. And they are not experts at making choices. But they need to be guided... and talked with, and role play.

Micky is RIGHT....nip this in the bud before #3 arrives and you are still the biggest!

The only thing I would add, is the next time she back talks, pick her up look her in the eye and without YELLING....raise your voice a bit and say YOU WILL NOT SPEAK TO ME OR YOU FATHER this way again young lady or you will really be in BIG TROUBLE...then the time out!

When dad gets home the three of you should have a talk and have her tell you what she heard you and dad say!