Almost 4 Yro Still Have Accidents

Why is this such a huge issue? She's ALMOST 4. Few kids are so advanced in growth that they have it down pat by then. She's at least proactive about it.

My one son was WAY beyond 4 years and still had nighttime problems. Understand, that sometimes it's just that some parts of their physiques just don't grow at the same rate as other parts. Mentally they might have it down pat but their body parts might not be able to accomodate.

When they're ready, THEY'RE ready and there's zip you can do. Unless it really is a serious physical problem but that's hard to judge at this age. And it isn't necessarily laziness either. Often it is just development.

Have you consulted the ped? There could be a medical condition you are not aware of~

hello K.
hey there if you think it a lazyness thing i would start taking things away when sshe dose pee her pants at what age did you potty train her? or you could try making her go pee ever 30 min like potty training all over again dose she pee at nite are we using underwear only all the time ? or do you go back and fourth even at nite counts i have ton of potty traing trick if i new more

Are you sure we don't share a child!? lol, you are describing my daughter as well, although now that she is closer to five, the accidents have pretty much stopped, although she wears a pull-up to bed. I really think it is lazyness and they are just too busy to go, that was always her excuse. Two weeks ago, she was playing with friends on a slip n slide, starting peeing and ran over to me hysterical. When I asked her why she didn't go earlier she said it was because she was too busy playing! It is sooo annoying, I agree, and frustrating. We are so sick of seeing her dancing around, and then asking or telling her to use the toilet, sometimes, she'll deny it, only to make a mad dash for the bathroom one minute later! I finally told her that when she goes to young 5's in the fall, people might make fun of her wetting her pants, and she actually said to me.."Well, that's okay, you'll bring me fresh clean ones" to which I promptly explained there is no way I am bringing her clothes when she does that at school. She hasn't had accidents in a few weeks now and I hope she won't anymore. But advice wise, I really think it is laziness and there is really nothing you can do, you can't always tell when she really has to go. Make her clean herself up and put her wet clothes away without any of your help if you are not doing so already.

My son was over 4 and still far from being potty trained and I was sure he was just stubborn/lazy/didn't want to stop what he was doing. The doctor said there were no medical issues that he could find so I finally had to be "mean Mom" which was really hard and make him totally miserable whenever he had an "accident" (I grew to hate that word!). When he was wet he either tried to hide it or just ignored it. This is what we ended up doing: he had to carry his own backpack with supplies in case he had an "accident" whenever we went anywhere. In the house he had to carry around a waterproof pad that he had to sit or stand on wherever he was. When he had an "accident" he went in timeout for five minutes the first day. The second day I upped it to 10 minutes, then the third day 15, etc. He was so stubborn that his timeouts were over 1 hour long before he started putting in effort. Once he started trying to make it to the potty I let up on him but he started backsliding a little, so we had to do timeouts a few more times to keep him on track and then he finally came around. It took about two weeks, and that finally did it. I had tried lots of other rewards and consequences prior to that and nothing got through to him until he had to sit on a hard chair in the kitchen with nothing around him for over an hour. Talk about stubborn! Now that we have conquered that for quite some time I have just decided that our next major contest of wills is going to be about playing in the potty. Best Wishes!

Hello K. -
I am a chiropractor and specialize in children. I have seen children up to the age of 13 that have accidents. When there is a problem in their pelvis and lower back (usually caused from falls when learning to walk) it can interfere with the nerves that control the bladder. When there is interference the message cannot get back and forth between the brain and the bladder allowing conscious control of functioning. Before you accuse your daughter of being lazy, have her checked to make sure it isn't something she can't help!

I feel your frustration. In the scheme of things, 4 is still young and accidents will happen. In her mind, it sounds like accidents are okay, so she will do them. You can try making them not okay, but making her clean it up if she finds that yucky, to making her go on the potty every hour, taking something away, if you really believe it is a lazy issue. But do realize that occasionally there will be an accident and the lone one doesn't require a punishment. In the meantime, keep an extra change of clothes with you and absorbent wipes for cleaning up. This too shall pass, not soon enough, but it will pass. Hang in there!

We had that happen with our daughter (now 6 yo) about a year or so ago. She had been potty trained for a couple of years with no problems and then she'd just go on the couch while watching t.v. or while in her room playing, etc. What a medical professional/counselor told us was that since it is a laziness issue (it was in our case too) then to tell her that if she is not going to be a big girl and get up to use the potty then she is doing what baby's do and needs to go to bed early just like a baby would too. So we did that and sent her to bed real early - like an hour or so early (not just a little early) so that it really got the point across to her. We did that one night and it stopped!