Almost 3Yo Being a MAJOR Pain.

You probably don't believe in a swat on the bottom but I would do that in this case. Then from then on I guess you could tell her this is what happens when we go here and there and then let her know you expect it. I always told my kids 'We are going to go ....., you are not to....but be.... and if not then .....' then they know you mean it and what to expect. That makes you in charge and not the child. Also tell her you are disappointedd in her as you know how good she can be. I know it's not easy, been there and done that too. Tomorrow is another day. :-)

I suggest that it's not likely that a 3yo can sit still throughout a movie. It's just too long for her to sit still. I suggest that a better way to handle that would've been to get up and stand with her in the back of the theater. I've seen parents do that.

How did you talk with her on the way to the car? Were you irritated and it showed? I suggest that being sympathetic works much better. "I'm sorry we couldn't stay for the movie. I know you're disappointed."

It sounds like you got into a battle of wills with her. I suggest that she needs your comfort and not punishment. Once we got home I would've put in a movie or played with her on the floor. Find a way to distract her by offering something fun to do. After all, you were expecting her to do the impossible by expecting her to not wiggle and move around. She needs discipline which includes teaching her how to regain control of her emotions.

A social worker suggested to my daughter that going to their room is a time for the child to put themselves back together. Thus they can play with toys or even watch a short movie or TV program. When you're upset do you just quietly sit down and do nothing? She has all sorts of pent up energy that she needs to get out of her system.

I sometimes ask my grandchildren to run to the end of the hall and back. Distracts them and helps them get rid of that energy.

When my granddaughter was that age, she would often not want to leave day care. She'd cry and tantrum at times. I took that time to help her calm down. We would sit in the car with her in my lap while I sympathized with her wanting to stay. I would have a few small toys that she could play with. Rarely did it take longer than 10 minutes for her to be back in control of herself. I suggest that doing this teaches her how to let go of the anger and regain self control.

Spanking does not teach self control. If it teaches anything it's that it's OK to hit. And it increases her anger. Spanking is counter productive in this sort of circumstance. Unless you routinely give her a pop to the butt and found it to work in stopping the tantrum, I would not use it.

AFter your SWH. You're frustrated and angry. She picks up on your feelings and then feels insecure causing her to act out more. She needs your calm, reassuring presence. You're asking her to be a little adult who knows how to manage her feelings. She's only 3. She's doing the best that she can do.

I suggest that you put yourself in time out. Putting her to bed early is one way to give yourself some time to calm yourself down. But if you do so in anger she'll resist because she needs you to be the strong one who is able to manage her own feelings. Save the "I'm done" for after she's asleep.

Much later; The goal of putting her in her room is to get her to calm down. It's good that she considers it a game. Go with it so that you both get out of the battle of wills. Kids always win in this sort of battle. I urge you to focus more on what she needs and less on exacting punishment because her behavior isn't what you'd like it to be.

I think what all this means is she is still too young for a movie. Too much stimulation (dark room, bright lights, loud stereo sound), and probably too long of a movie with too detailed of a story line for a short attention span. The movie version is probably way more detailed than the child's book to make it movie worthy. And even though she was getting antsy, you left before the movie was over, and if you let her have pop, candy or other treats, that probably didn't help either. Bottomline, you had a perfect storm brewing! LOL

Just chalk it up to a lesson learned on what your daughter's current limits are. I wouldn't worry about her behavior. I'd just plan on waiting a little longer before trying out a big screen movie in the next few months.

She'll probably calm down by tonight. Let her chill. You might even ask her if there was something in the movie that scared her or upset her. Things we think are innocuous can be horrifying to a toddler. One of my kids freaked out when he saw Disney's "The Incredibles." He was about your child's age, and we watched it in DVD at home. He was crazed about half an hour into the movie. Came to find out after a sleepless crazy night of him having night terrors, some robot character in the movie scared him. Go figure!

My cousin's daughter saw a big screen re-showing of the 1970's version of the Wizard of Oz (The Wiz) with Diana Ross, Michael Jackson, and Nipsy Russell. She had an absolute breakdown behind these clown-like characters that lived in a subway bathroom because they were after Ross, Jackson, and Russell doing the bidding of the Wicked Witch Evilena. My cousin's girl cried for hours and refused to use a potty for days (she thought there would be clowns waiting for her!) Yikes...that was a diaper regression nightmare and definitely a learning moment for my cousin on taking toddlers to the big screen! : O

I hope your child calms down tonight. Just be ready for a guest at bedtime if it turns out the Lorax was too creepy for your girl. It is a pretty dark tale if you think about it...even though it has an environmental message.

Your child is THREE Give her the respect of treating her as three. She is a baby yet. But most parents don't really realize that till they're grown and have babies of their own.

A movie, really.
Put yourself aside and give her what she needs momma and love and joy.

Keep up the Love and Logic, but also remember she is only 3. That is too young for some kids to sit through a movie at all. She may have become over stimulated or afraid of something in the movie.

I don't believe you said whether this is typical for your little girl. Is she normally difficult? You might pick up a book on development and see whether your expectations are in line for her maturity.

You are not wrong, but she is just 3 years old.
Stand your ground.
She had a nap, so I assume she is not overtired.
So fine.

She is 3. They are not even competent about their emotions, nor are their emotions even fully developed and they don't even have the articulate ability, to even say how they feel with a fine toothed comb. And they don't yet have full 100% impulse control either.
So she is fussy and had a cow.
Let her be in her room. That is your consequences. And it seems you are consistent in it.
Fine.

She will get over it.

But I guess, it all started because she did not see the ending of the movie and at that age they don't know what 20 minutes longer is. And by then, she was getting restless and antsy and could not stay still throughout the entire movie. So you and she left the theater. And she got fussy. But she could not, converse about it and tell you why she is upset. As is common with this age. And then it dominoed from there.

The Lorax, is 96 minutes long. About an hour and a half. That is a long time for a Toddler to stay still. Even for a 5 year old.

Sometimes, (even with adults), a person is grumpy/fussy and they don't even know why. And we will not always have a reason either.
But she got fussy after the movie and tantrumed. So she was disciplined.
But wow, she continued on for 2 hours?

I assume, you talked to her about what happened, or plan to?

At that age, the movie is most likely too long.
I know when I took my son to the movies when he was 2 he lasted 30 mins.
My son, also, takes his shoes off every time we get in the car. It drives me
crazy. I anticipate this now & preface the drive w/the a short, quick "be sure to keep your shoes on. We will be there in 10 mins.
Part of this all is their age & their inability to proces & reason.
The age of reason is really about 7.
So do what I do: work with what you have, anticipate some things & make
movie trips short leaving early or wait until she's a bit older.
It will all work out.
Instead of fighting for 2 hrs, how about trying a 2 min time out (1 min per year of their age) for hitting you?
That should work better than taking things away. She doesn't quite get that yet.
I don't think she finds this interaction quite fun. Just part of her growing, learning & exercising her independence.
Hope that helps & hang in there.

I think you are doing good.....just don't give in to the tantrums!!! Stand firm!

oh this is just battles of wills! She is trying you to see how far she can go! You are doing everything right, stay strong, you're not doing anything wrong she is trying to see where the line is for you, stay calm and you will prevail as the parent. You have your quiet time too and relax before the next battle, BEDTIME! LOL
Maybe something happened at preschool that made her feel out of control in a situation and she does not know how to tell you that. We all have bad days mom the important thing is not to get frustrated or take her behavior personal, and know this too shall pass and you will have your DD back soon. tomorrow will be better! Good Luck!

don't beat yourself up, but after that movie, was she tired or hungry? she was obviously bored. those things tend to make things spiral downward where a 3 year old is concerned. next time make sure she has had a nap, has a snack (even a couple hours is too long for some kids) and of course, if she starts getting bored, get her out of there, just like you did. 3 is awfully young for a movie. i tried and my son wasn't ready at that age.

i do think letting her walk into the house with no shoes was appropriate - she took them off when she was not supposed to, therefore she deals with the consequences. i wouldn't have told her i was sorry for her though lol. i would have said, "yes, that's what happens when you take your shoes off in the car when you're not supposed to. now come inside and go to your room until you can act nicely." :)

i don't know about her thinking it's a fun game - at our house you act like a hellion you go to your room until you can behave. then once he is behaving, he can come out. i don't know from what you said, at what point she went from tantrum to playing...but i'd say it's time to let it go after 2 hours. the point is completely gone at that point.

one more thought, when she refused to get out of the car (a key turning point in your battle with her, imo) instead of saying "fine!" and closing the door on her (then opening it again when she started screaming -putting HER in control) i would have lifted her up and carried her butt to her room then. and again, she could come out when she was acting right.

sorry, i know i jumped around a lot there. hope that helps for next time. they all do it! lol.