Almost 3 Yr Old Won't Get Dressed!

Hi there -

I quite remember those battles, and the same feelings. You are caught up in a negative cycle with her, and she wants to win. I found that if I didn't play the game with her, I won. What I learned is that you offer her one outfit or another, no more than two, she will have fewer options and will feel in control of her decision. It really becomes "this?" or "that?" Good luck, it starts up again around six. Ha-ha! P.

I'm interested to see the other replies. I have the same problem with my just turned 3 yr old daughter. The only thing that has been helping me with grooming and dressing her is to lock the door to the bedroom or bathroom (whichever room we are in). That way she knows we have to do this before we can continue on our day. I would also like her to be more autonamous with the actual dresssing but for now we do it together. Good luck. I'm looking forward to getting some other tips!
S.

I still have that battle sometimes with my almost 13 year old daughter.
Just got to stay consistent with her and if you say something stick by it, it's all a test of will power. She's exercising her independence.
My almost 5 year old son has just started with this I can't sleep in my room alone because I hear noises. We recently moved into a huge 2 story house and he all of a sudden doesn't want to be in any room or on any floor alone. He says he hears sounds and it freaks him out. For the past 2 months he was fine and now all of a sudden.
So, I say that just to prove a point that kids are ever changing and they can be fine with something one day and the next you wonder what alien abducted your child and left you with this replica.
You just gotta keep pluggin away and this too shall pass.
Hang in there mama, you'll do fine.

sounds to me like she may have sensory issues. she may not like how certain fabrics feel on her skin. my son has this problem. the best thing i can suggest - since she's 3, let her be more involved in what you buy for her to wear. try it on her before you buy it and if she doesn't like how it feels - don't waste your money on buying it.

my daughter was very fussy about what she wore when she was little - she still is today. this worked for me. she chooses her clothes (with supervsion from me). my son does too.

Honey if I had a solution I would not be banging my head against a wall on a daily basis with my 3 yr old son!! I think it is just called BEING 3!!! The child "experts" would say she showing her independence, blah blah. Personally I think that after the terrible 2's you get the stubborn do whatever I can to annoy and irritate mommy 3's. LOL Good luck, take a deep breath soon the battle will change to something new, trust me I have been there!

T.

Hi Vicki,
It sounds like your daughter is using the "getting dressed" issue to spend more time with you. I would suggest that you get up a half hour early so you can spend a little more time with her and you are not rushed to get ready. When children know that you are rushed they sense that and it gets them upset. When she thinks that you are going at a nice pace and not rushing I bet you won't have those problems anymore. Maybe you could have something special for her to do after she gets dressed and before you have to get into the car. Also you can have things in the car for her. I always carry a small lap desk and crayons/coloring book, other toys, the Leapfrog, etc. so my 4 year old has something to do and to look forward to in the car.

Good luck,
D. R.

Vickie,

Here's what worked for me with my 27 m/o recently -- I re-worked our morning routine. Now, he gets up, I lay out two outfit choices on the couch and he may choose either one. I let him know what's for breakfast and prepare it and show it to him, but tell him he can't come to the table and eat until he's dressed. It has worked like a charm. I used to feed him, then have the get-dressed battle, making us both late every morning in the interest of not sending him to school with food all over, however, a few drops of syrup or egg on his shirt are nothing compared to a tantrum-free morning. Because he's naturally hungry in the morning, he gets dressed gladly so he can eat. The mornings he dawdles, I point out that 1.) breakfast is getting cold and 2.) he can't watch Hi-5 or Big, Big World until he's dressed and 3.) he may run out of time to eat if he doesn't cooperate and be hungry all morning (not really because they are pretty generous with snacks at Montessori school, but he doesn't put that together yet.) This combination of factors has been working for several weeks now and Monday, when I accidentally forgot to dress him before breakfast, he still cooperated afterwards because the morning get-dressed tantrum is no longer part of our morning routine these days. That and I praise him like crazy when he cooperates by getting dressed. He loves that. :) Hope this helps. I know how stressful the morning battles can be.

Why don't you let her wear the pajamas or a "dress up" outfit and just bring an outfit with you in the car so she can change at the daycare. If there is a certain pair of underwear she only wants to wear, buy 5 or 6 pairs that are identical. Also, are you spending some bonding time with her in the morning before you leave for work? At least 20 minutes reading some books or putting together a puzzle. She may be more cooperative if you give her some one on one time :)

My daughter did the same thing. I picked out outfits for her and put them in a large ziplock bag. I put 3 or 4 bags in a drawer of her dresser. Then she could go get the bags all by herself. This seemed to make her feel extra independent, and she loved picking out her own outfits this way. Good luck!

First realize that this is just a phase that will soon pass. That takes a bit of the pressure off you. My twins went through the same thing. One wanted to wear boots with everything, the other wore bright green tights with everything. I let them do that as much as I could and the fad wore off on it's own. When I look at their photos during this phase I have a good laugh.
I even miss it!
Don't give her too many choices in the morning and that might help a bit too.

Try dressing her the night before in whatever you want her to wear the next day. Don't discuss it with her; just put them on, be done, and completely avoid the AM fiasco. She may be a little rumpled, but who cares? She's only 2. I'm betting that in a few weeks, she will be out of this phase and you can return to PJs and new clothes in the morning.

Have you tried positive reinforcement? Something as simple as as sticker chart (which you can incorporate with other items too such as "chores-brushing teeth, getting dressed, etc.) She gets a sticker on her chart for getting dressed (and letting her pick from two or three outfits is ideal at this age since they like to feel that they have control of things) Once she fills up a row or gets so many stickers she gets another reward like an extra story at night or a new coloring book....
And of course when she does earn a sticker--make a big deal about it--she'll see how excited you are and will be very eager to get that reaction from you again!
Good luck!