"Almost 3 Years Old Little Girl Wets Herself After Visit with Dad"

Hi, I'm a stepmom and might be able to help a little bit. First, remember she is not doing this on purpose:) My stepson began this behavior in preschool after being potty trained without issues for several years. He is several years older now and still wets the bed off and on. We've done therapy and read a lot of books....it all comes back to the split family and the stress of the situation.

When he was little, like your daughter, and having accidents related to his visits at different homes, he began therapy. There was a lot of change in his life...new siblings, new stepdad, then his dad married me. Look for changes in your daughter's life and discuss them with her.

I think it is wonderful that she has you as a steady constant in her life and that you can be with her at the visit's with Dad.

I'm not asking, just suggesting from experienc, watch how you and Dad interact. My stepson had some very physical reactions to his mom and dad and their tension. They now make a very specific effort to speak kindly and smile or even say just a simple Hello to each other in front him.

Good luck! If all else fails, I feel that therapy was wonderful for my stepson and all children of divorce should experience it.

My son went through this and he has been raised by his dad and I since birth. We divorced when he was 3.
Accidents never happened at dad's house just for a few days after at my house.

It is really something she can't control and it is a stress type of thing.
I am not suggesting that she stop seeing her dad. Unless he is unfit in some way, having a dad is very important to childrens development!

For the first couple of years I just thought I needed to be supportive and provide a good home but it continued until he was 6-7 and that was when I had him start counseling because it was obvious that it wasn't going away.
She may seem too young to benefit but I tried everything and nothing else seemed to work-although boys are tougher with potty stuff than girls.

The things the counselor did and said weren't any different than the things I had done and said but it somehow made a difference.
Hope that helps, Good luck

I don't have experience with this, so what I am telling you is strictly my opinion.

If you are truly present and in the room with your daughter the entire time she is with her father, I don't think you need to be particularly concerned. Obviously something is bothering her and making her have accidents, but you know she is safe and he is not saying or doing anything in appropriate. She's probably just uncomfortable in a new and possibly strange/tense situation and this is how she's reacting. As long as you are there to witness everything he says and does with her, I wouldn't worry.

Next time you go for a visit, try talking to her about it before hand. Say that you're going to see daddy (if that's what she calls him) and that she needs to remember she's a big girl, even at his house. Show her where the bathroom is there and make sure she's comfortable using it. Even bring along a potty seat from home if needed. On the way home, talk about the fun parts of the visit and remind her that she's a big girl and needs to use the potty at home still, too.

Hope that helps a little

K.
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My sister did this when we visited our dad on the weekends. The doctor mentioned it was just stress and would stop once she was more comfortable. She did it for almost a year and only stopped when my dad told her it was ok and made her more comfortable. I think you are doing the right thing by not punishing her and being kind about it. Don't let it upset you and do the best you can to make her feel comfortable. Good luck!

It sounds to me like you and your parents are who she understands as love. If Dad and his family are trying to share love with her it is probably confusing. If they are too intense with her ie wanting to hug or touch her maybe it's just overload. At the next visit I would bring something she likes to play with or a DVD she likes to watch so she will feel a little less 'on stage'. Do you go to their house. Maybe have them come to yours or maybe a park. The trick I think is to make the visits more casual and comfortable for HER! If Dad and family want the relationship they will have to do it on her terms. I would also be open with them about it. Let them know that you feel she is stressed by the visits and ask them to consider other options that will make her feel good.

My guess is it's stress. Poor girl.