Almost 3 1/2 Year Old Girl Having Poopy Accidents Al the Time.

T.,

This can be so frustrating! My son went through something similar at 3.5, too. From what I've heard and read and experienced, 3.5 is a very difficult time for preschoolers, and they often have some potty training regression. A few things helped us get through this stage:

1. Positive reinforcement -- sticker charts, prizes, praise, whatever works for your family. That may change weekly, so always be ready to introduce something new.
2. Stay away from negative reinforcement -- taking something away is not going to help.
3. When an accident happens, try not to show any emotion. Just be very matter-of-fact about cleanup and say something like "Its ok, it happens. Maybe next time." I know that inside you may be angry, frustrated, or even blaming yourself (I know I did!), but try very hard not to let these feelings show. Yelling will definitely NOT help the situation!
4. A scheduled time to sit and try to poop. For us, every night after dinner our son would sit on the potty, and we would read from special books that stayed in the bathroom. We found that books of poems worked well, so that when he finished we weren't interrupting a story. At 4.5, our son still has a scheduled time. We have phased out the books, though.
5. Look for any changes in her routine or in her life that might have affected her (subconsciously) in some way. A new teacher at preschool, cabin fever, giving up a nap, a new dinner time, anything that might seem inconsequential to you may be affecting her.
6. Whatever you do, don't let this become a power struggle! I know that is difficult, but if the potty issue becomes a battle of wills between parent and child, the issue can escalate. (I know this from experience!)
7. Check with her doctor. It is possible that the stool softener is causing problems.
8. Read the book "Your Three Year-Old: Friend or Enemy" by Ames & Ilg. I got a copy from Amazon. It will help you deal with all of those inexplicable and frustrating behaviors that manifest at this age.

Good luck! I hope you find some answers here!

I am currently going through the same thing with my son who is now 4 1/2. He was having accidents because he was constipated or not emptying out. Finally after weeks of seeing the pedi and after rewards/punishments we decided that it might be out of his control. He has been seeing a pediatric gastrointestinologist and he is on a dose of Mirolax and he needs to sit on the potty for 3-5 minutes after 2 meals a day.The reason he has accidents is and doesn't know it is because when they are constipated for so long their sphincter stretches and it has to become that big or full (sorry for the details) for them to have the sensation to poop. I would talk to your Dr about Mirolax and maybe try putting her on the potty after she eats. Good Luck!

Three and four times a day sounds like a lot of poop to me. I would check with your doc to see if it might be the stool softner after all. My son had this issue as well and still does from time to time (he's 4.5yr). My doc told us this could happen up until 5yr but with age, kids typically start eating more varieties of foods which helps. Maybe if you've noticed your daughter eating more varities, the stool softner is just too much. Again, check with your doc.

Hi T.,
I don't think Isabela was completely potty trained. I think she was able to control her bowel movements to please you. She has a problem here....a big red flag is the stool softener. Ano0ther flag is that '...she would gallop around and we would take her" and "..but she was always scared to go.."
first..she's scared. That's not too unusual. Work with it.
second...yelling at her is going to have a negative effect.
third..being potty trained is more than a kid not messing in their pants. Your Isabella has issues with bowel movements. Stool softener, galloping, scared....come on...
Step back and take a good look at this situation. Have you spoken to her doctor?

My daughter sounds similar. She had her first accident yesterday and was very embarrassed. I think she thought she had gas and accidentally let some poop out. It wasn't a full bowl movement, but more than just a stain.
Anyway, it's possible that your daughter also cannot control her bowl movements. I would be sympathetic and comforting, not punitive. And since it's been 2 weeks, you might want to call the doctor to see if she needs to be examined or reduce the stool softener.
Be patient and good luck,
J.

Hi - it might be Encopresis. Google it online to see if it sounds like what you're dealing with. Good luck!