Allowance & Chores

My 14 year old can run my house and do everything I can. If she drove she could also do the shopping.
I have a chore schedule with all my children. I do not pay for chores. They do them because we are a family.
With only one I would have her do dishes every other night or three times a week.
She should have a bathroom, toilets, sink, floor
She should do her room
She should be able to take care of pets.
Laundry, mow the lawn,
Maybe she could be in charge of the dinner on Mondays os something. (My friend;s 14 yo boy makes dinner every Monday)
Mine have a rotating chore list everyday.

At 14, she should be able to do just about everything except drive :) She should be able to plan and cook a simple meal, mend an article of clothing, wash a load of clothes, mow the lawn and clean the house. I am not suggesting that she actually do all of that stuff everyday :) But, she is old enough to look around and see stuff that needs to be done or do it when asked.

As far as allowance goes, I don't give any of my kids allowance. Never have - never will. I believe that we are a family that works together to be successful and attaching money to it will only defeat the purpose. I tell the kids that when I get paid to clean the house they will too :) However, if my kids need money for a movie, a certain pair of special shoes or stuff like that, I give it to them based on their chore performance. If they have been slacking off lately, the answer is no. Usually, they preface every money request with "I've been doing all my chores lately." Each child has a specific chore that they are to do without being asked (one has to set the table for each meal, another mows the lawn every Friday, etc.). Beyond that, I simply ask them to do the requested item: can you throw that load in the wash for me? Or whatever it is.

I know that each family has different ideas about this and I am sure that you will find something that works for you.

Good luck!

We have never tied allowence into chores. Now having said that we did give allowance. My sons all got $1 for each grade they were in school. so first grader got $1 a week. 9th grader got $9 etc. chores were because they are part of the family and they got the benefits of such (home, showers, electric to use for tv etc....) so they each had jobs they did. my son is currently 14 these are the jobs he does

empties the dishwasher every day after school,
clears the table from dinner puts away all food items, scrapes plates etc and puts them into the sink (I am anal won't let anyone else put the dishes in the dishwasher lol) he wipes the table and sweeps the floor.
on saturdays he cleans his bathroom (mirror, toilet and tub and sweeps)
on wednesday's he takes the garbage cans out to the street and brings them back on thursdays.
once a week whichever day I ask for it he brings all the hampers to the laundry room and sorts the laundry. when he gets home from school he puts his clothes away.

I may or may not ask for help with stuff like vacuuming etc but those are extra not regular jobs.

he gets paid an extra $5 on weeks when he has to mow the lawn (weedwacker is included in lawn stuff) and also extra $5 each time he has to do the snow.

built into the regular chore chart is privileges of being able to play video games, use computer and tv time. missing a job that was supposed to be done doesn't make him have less money but it does make him have less time on the fun stuff. He gets hot lunches at school that I pay for the basic lunch but any extra stuff he pays for out of his allowance. he also pays for his own video game rentals from blockbuster.
so umm hope that helps.
S.

Hi L.,

Like everyone else I don't pay my daughters to do chores.
They are 11 & 8
They have shared responsibilities such as
keeping their room clean, putting toys and games away.

My 11 yr old washes and puts away her own clothes. She likes to change outfits several times a day so the compromise was that if she wants to create all that laundry she has to wash her own clothes and she was fine with that. He other job is feeding the cats

The 8 yr old doesn't wash her own clothes, but she knows how to fold them and put them away. She is also responsible for feeding the fish.

We do the dishes and household cleanning together since it's just the 3 of us.
When I do give them allowance it's based on their behavior, and it's not always money.

Our "goal" (aka not there yet) is that by 14.5:

They're being paid a "living wage" in allowance. Not a "good" wage, by any means... but a wage that would allow them to live without going into debt. A chunk of that would go towards "rent" (realistic rent, aka a dorm/studio/or room...that we'd then stick in savings for school), a chunk would go towards his share of bills (which actually would go towards bills). Then everything else "left over" goes to pay for "everything else". AKA clothes, sports, savings, entertainment, copays, etc. Our thought process is that we'd rather have him screw up while at home and learn these lessons with a net, than for him to screw up on his own and have to bail him out when there's a lot more on the line.

Right now... our 7yo has the following chores, and receives up to $10 a week for them ($1 a day, plus a $3 bonus if they're all done timely & with good attitude... we have a chart where he checks them off, & I mark it at the end of the day for the attitude):

Daily
- Wash his face (or shower)
- Brush his teeth
- Make his breakfast (cold, at this age, no cooking allowed)
- Dishes (his... washed dried and put away from each meal)
- Make his bed
- Pick up all toys except 2 (as in he can leave out up to 2 that he's working on/ playing with)
- School
- Play
- Help with projects (yard work, building, whatever dad or I are doing)
- Help with dinner (aka help cook dinner)

Weekly
- Wash sheets and remake bed
- Wash & put away his clothes
- Clean his room
- Pick a Chore x1 (like taking out the garbage that week... or mopping... etc.)

As he gets older we'll be adding more chores (like right now my list is about triple/quadruple his) until it's about an even split with him being able to do everything that I can do (from cooking and cleaning to paying bills and saving and longterm planning). So we'll slowly be adding things like cleaning one room every other day, cooking a certain number of nights per week, etc... until he's totally able to be self sufficient. If he was 14.5 today (aka god only knows what inflation will do)... he'd be making about $250 a week. Our goal is to be teaching self sufficiency & money management. We include things like play & hygiene & school in our "chore list" because we're also trying to teach balance along with responsibility/ money management/ awareness. We consider chores to be not exactly work... but more the business & art of living. And since we live in a money based society, learning how to manage money is definitely a part of that.

((14.5 is a magic number in our family... because for US that's when he stops being a child and becomes a YOUNG adult. At that point the person *essentially* gets to make all their own rules. It's the net thing again. Better to learn that you can't stay up until 4am and then make it to school on time in Highschool rather than college or at a job. If a 15year old oversleeps the parent doesn't drag them out of bed, shove them in the car, race to school and sign a note... but instead lets them learn to handle themselves, while still under the security of being at home. Essentially it's the transition from being a "parent" to a mentor. But that's just our family. Actually it scares me more than a little, as it tends to be hardest on parents to let your kids fall down to learn how to walk, than to hover and catch them. I know I'm going to be biting my tongue a lot that year. ))

Looking forward to the answers

I have 4 kids and 3 of them are old enough for chores and an allowance. Although the youngest does try to "help" out a lot (2 yrs) and I do give him some coins to put in his bank when it's time to pay out chores.

My 10 year old daughter (will be 11 in 2 weeks)
Cleans her room 1x a week but has to do maintence 1-2 other times during week. (I'd like the bed made everyday but I'm not real strict with that.)
Cleans the bathrooms 1x a week (made easy with Clorox wipes, etc). This does include toliets, sinks, mirrors, floors, etc.
Sweeps and mops hard floors (kitchen & dining room) 1x a week. (made easy with Swiffer products)
Feeds, waters, and takes the dog out when she is home.

My 9 year old son
Cleans his room 1x a week with some maintence during the week.
Vacuums all carpeted areas of house 1x a week.
Takes trash outside when needed.
Takes trash to the curb 1x a week.

My 6 year old son
Helps clean up his room 1 x a week.
Brings down dirty laundry for me on a daily basis.
Helps set the table (doesn't happen every night)
Picks up almost all toys, etc for his older brother during vacuum time.
Wipes some windows 1x a week.
Cleans door knobs and switches (Clorox wipe) 1x a week.

In addition to these my kids are supposed to clean up after themselves regularly, dirty clothes in hamper, etc.
The oldest 2 put their clean, folded clothes away.

I pay them all half their age in allowance each week. (10 yr old gets $5, 9 yr old gets $4.50, etc). But I do make them put half of what they earn in their bank to save. The other half goes in their wallet for spending money.
BTW, I do deduct money for not doing chores or not getting them done on time. I rarely deduct for behavior as I usually just take away DS', etc but you could.

I'm hoping my examples could give you some ideas. I am sure that your daughter can handle more than you think. Give kids more responsibilities will only make them more responsible.
Good Luck!!

Keep in mind that whether she moves away at 18 or stays on to complete school......regardless, she should be able to be self sufficient at 18. That means everything from knowing how to do basic planning and going to bed/getting up accordingly, to going to school and doing school work (which will translate later to "work"), keep the place basically clean (laundry, weekly cleaning of....everything that would be in a dorm, apartment, or home), and PLEASE teach her how to cook some basic meals AND clean up after them. Would be a disservice to her to not teach her how to take care of herself, but it's not learned overnight. It'll take a few years, so figure out what all is needed, and set out the plan for the next few years and get the "training" done. I've lived on my own thinking spaghetti o's and ramen noodles were "gourmet" cooking. I've had TERRIBLE roommates that wouldn't clean a dish or toilet, and it is not the way to send your children off in the world!!! My 3 1/2 year old son stands on a chair and watches me chop veggies, he stirs, pours things in after I show him that I'm measuring things....this child is gonna know how to cook a meal! He "helps" me with laundry and picking up his room, he empties the little trashcans into the big trashcan, he swiffers and dusts with a swiffer cloth, and feeds his cat, and he's not even in preschool yet. If you approach it with the right attitude, it's not all a "chore" as much as a time to teach and hang out together. Good luck!

Hi, L.:

Whatever you have to do, she needs to learn or do.

When will she learn how to do something for nothing?

Good luck. Thanks for asking.
D.

I don't give my children an allowance. There are every day chores that they are expected to do as part of the family. If they do something above and beyond, then they'll get rewarded.

My daughters are 13 and 15, here are their chores...
keep your room clean
bring your dirty cloths downstairs weekly
change the sheets on your bed weekly
make dinner a few nights a week
unload the dishwasher
vacumn (sometimes)
water the plants
help with laundry
set/clear the table
help me and hubby where needed

The sky is the limit on chores at this age. She's old enough to babysit and do real jobs. She should be totally responsible for her own room and things and pitching in with the house and yard work. Allowance should be to scale with her responsibilities on what she has to buy.