All over Again

I certainly don't think divorced women w/kids shouldn't date but everyone's entitled to their own opinion.

It sounds like they just need someone like a Big Brother in their lives or something (Big Brothers/Big Sisters program)?

They would probably also benefit from some counseling to work out the feelings they're having.

Sounds like you're doing the right thing by not going back to him... don't settle for any less than someone who treats you like gold! :-)

Best wishes,

J.

In my opinion, divorced women with children should not date for this very reason. It is much too hard on the children. I know this sounds like outdated advice, but I have heard/seen to many children get caught up in their parents love lives and it just seems unhealthy. If you must date , I would not introduce the man into your childrens lives until it looks like you may be going down the aisle (a ring and a date). As for this guy, I would tell your children in an age appropriate way that the man loved your kids, but could not be the partner you needed - do not take him back because you will probably end up putting them through this heartache again.
Good Luck

wow! God bless you. I try and not introduce my kids unless we are serious and know we'll work, guess what? I'm still alone and my kids have their mates, go figure. They liked the guy, can't hate him for that. Ask him to make time for the kids if he can at least once a month

it's gonna be alright...i believe you just got to keep reassuring your babies that you love them very much and that you all will get through this...maybe explaining to them that it didn't work out for you would probably help too....next time when you meet some one , you might want to wait awhile before you introduce them to the kids because they do get attached...i went through the same situation and realized that kid is alot smarter than what i give her credit for. i just had to explain the situation. i pray that you all get through this as smoothly as possible.

Thats really hard, my Mom gave me some great advice some time ago. If you look into his eyes and can't see being happy 20 years down the road, don't get into it! My parents stayed together for my brother and I, it was very rocky, we would have been better off going through a rough time back then versus the years of unhappiness, as well as my mother. I know its hard and this doesn't seem like much, but it is what I always hold onto. Good Luck!

T.,

I am sorry that you are having to go through such heartache again... more sorry that your children are experiencing it again. My only advice would be to just focus on the children now... put the dating life off until they are older. It seems to be too hard to balance both.
Good Luck!

If you won't be happy, then the kids won't either. They will know that your'e not. And if you go back to him, and it doesn't work out, they will deal with it even harder the next time.Do they see there dad? I just wondered, thought maybe that would help with the male lack of trust problem for them.K.

Hi, T.
You need to do what makes you happy. A Happy Mom make Happy Kids. From experience with this exact situation, except I made the mistake of trying to work it out. As for the kids, try starting a tradition just for the three of you. Like movie/pizza night or craft night. Just something special you all like to do and stick to it and keep the tradition. It will give them something to look forward to. My kids and I still have our tradition. Good Luck and stay happy!

I am sorry to hear this, however if he was emotionally abusive or even physical you should not take him back. i am sorry i really dont have any advice for you except try and help your kids understand why he had to leave and why he cant come back.