My 8th grader is extremely difficult to wake up in the mornings. She's been this way her whole life and I think it's hereditary since my husband and his sisters are all the same! (even as adults but less so as they've gotten older) We have tried traditional alarms for her to wake up for school but she does not hear them. Any other suggestions? I cannot be constantly going into her room on school mornings b/c I need to get myself and my son ready as well (my husband leaves for work about an hour and a half before we need to get up so he's not there to help). She's getting old enough now where we need to find a solution for her to get up on her own. TIA for your help!
EDITED TO ADD: The alarm clock is already across the room. We tried that early on and it doesn't seem to make a difference. She will get up in a half-sleep, hit snooze, then fall back into bed. We use a traditional clock that beeps--not electronic device (cell phones go to central spot in our house before bedtime--multiple reasons but one is otherwise she'd be on it playing games, etc. way too late! This is our house rule for everyone though). She already gets an average of 9 hours of sleep a night sometimes more.
Maybe try having her go to bed sooner, if she is having that much trouble getting up, she needs more sleep.
I second putting it across the room, you can get one that dings, the old fashion ones with the bells.
I am not sure why you would need to be "constantly going into her room". I woke all my kids up until they left for college. Time to get up is time to get up. I went into their rooms, turned on the light, tickled their feet, and said "you need to get up now". Rarely did I say it twice. Getting up is not optional.
When they hesitated, I launched into a really loud obnoxious version of Rise, and Shine, And Give God Your Glory, Glory, RISE, and SHINE, and.....
But generally, they just got up.
:)
I agree with others that recommend putting it across the room and having her go to bed earlier. Her body may need more sleep.
The other suggestion I would make is have her suffer the consequences of NOT getting up on time. When my children hit 8th grade this was just another responsibility I turned over to them. It was great training ground for them. My youngest is now 18 and all my children wake themselves up and get themselves ready in the mornings definitely beginning 8th grade. It's a beautiful thing.
UPDATED
After reading your editied to add, I'm even more for allowing her to suffer the consquences of being late she is totally depending on you too much and inconveniencing you so she can get more sleep. This cycle must stop and you are the one that can begin the change. Let her know the night before that you will only call her how every many times you deem fair (my limit was once after the alarm) but move on about your schedule and let her suffer the consequences of being late. Those who don't listen feel. It is time for her to feel the consequences.
If she can get up to walk across the room and hit snooze she can get up to get ready. I agree with letting her suffer the consequences. Tell her in advance that she is expected to get herself up and ready in the morning. Make a list of all the things that need to be done. For every 5-10 minutes late she is something gets crossed off, starting with hair/clothes/makeup/electronics. I guarantee she'll only go to school in her pjs once.
With my 12 yo son we used rewards; if he was up, ready to go, before we had to leave he could check his phone. If not, no phone. He sleeps like your daughter and this worked for him.
With my 10 yo daughter we used consequences like I mentioned above. She gets up fine, but dawdles horribly. The first time I made her go to school with her hair unbrushed (long, thick hair = horrible bedhead) solved the problem for quite some time. We still have to reinforce occasionally, but the fear of public humiliation was quite a good motivator.
Sounds so frustrating. Are you using different alarms with different types of sounds? How about a radio where the sound is not the same constant buzz but is conversation or music?
Can you set 2 different alarms and put them across the room so she has to get up to turn them off? Put a light or 2 on timers so the room lights up (especially in the winter). Put them on a power strip and use extension cords so they can be in different areas of the room but plugged into one timer. Go in once and pull all the covers off the bed so she's cold.
The other option is to send her to bed much earlier and have your husband get her up early. She can shower, eat breakfast, organize her backpack, and start doing homework or chores, anything she usually does in the evening, in that time that you are using to get yourself and your son ready.
Does the whole family get enough sleep? Do your husband's family members wake up on their own after 8-10 hours? If they are in a deep REM sleep in the morning because they just haven't gotten to bed on time, could that be the reason? We're supposed to wake up on our own without alarms actually so I wonder if there's anything that can be done with the sleep rhythms?
I'm confused because you said she doesn't hear them, but then you mentioned constantly going into the room to wake her up.
My solution for the volume issue -- i pads, phones and such are really loud alarms. If she doesn't have one, could you at least put yours in there when you go to bed?
If it's about having to go in there repeatedly because she hits snooze... Put the alarm clock across the room so she has to get up to turn it off.
Or...you could kindly and gently wake her up and then make her stand up and walk her into the bathroom so she won't lie back down and fall asleep again.
At first I was going to sympathize... my son has always been a very very deep sleeper as well. Up until this year, he would sleep so deeply that if he set an alarm he didn't hear it. WE would hear it at the other end of the house and it would wake US up, but he would be completely asleep, oblivious to the racket.
If your daughter is able to hear it, get up from bed, walk across the room and hit the snooze button, then she is not doing this out of inability to wake up, but desire to go back to sleep.
I'd work on incentives. Or disincentives. However you want, whichever works the best.
My son isn't as old as your daughter, but he's a hard sleeper and doesn't always wake up easily. I put a little 1812 Overture (final movement) on loop- considered to be one of the loudest compositions ever written. I love halfway through when the banging and clanging starts. If that's not good enough, cannon fire starts towards the end. Sure to drive her out of bed! lol
Another favorite- the finale of the William Tell Overture.
Anyway, I go in his room, start it up, turn it up, then walk out. He's up and out in about 30 seconds.
I recently saw an alarm clock that you put under your pillow and it vibrates when it was going off, but that could be ignored too. A few years back I got my daughter an alarm clock that talked and vibrated numerous times. It said several phases and got her attention because it was so annoying. I think the pillow clock was at Bed, Bath & Beyond and the talking clock, I believed it was at Target.
It's hard for me to get up sometimes, as an adult. Good luck.
Get her a clock without a snooze button.
I love to sleep in the mornings, too. But I'd sleep until noon if I could - my clock is just set to night owl. I read somewhere that the best way to wake up is to get moving. So tell her that she MUST set her alarm and then be done with sleep. She should move around a bit, perhaps go downstairs, grab a drink and head into her morning routine.
Good luck. I wish I was still in bed right now!!
So she can "wake up" but does not stay up if I am understanding correctly? I saw once on Dr. OZ there was an alarm clock (also a phone app option) and to get it to stop beeping you have to very rigerously shake it so much in that you wake up because your blood is all flowing. Maybe something like that will work.
I don't know. It's my responsibility to get the kids up and going in the morning. I guess I'd expect to get up half an hour early to get her started in the morning.
Otherwise have hubby start a routine of shaking her, pulling her covers off, spraying her with water, and other stuff so she'd be half awake when the alarms start going off.
You can also get numerous alarms. The louder the better. Each one in a different spot so she has to get up and go to them several times. Of course if it was me I'd simply turn them all off at bedtime so I could sleep...lol.
I will say this.......one of my siblings had the darndest time getting out of bed. It had nothing to do w/enough sleep. Til this day she likes/needs
more sleep. The rest of us kids just happened to get up. My mom had a
hard time getting this one out of bed....always. It was just a personality
type.
So some things to make your life easier:
-get yourself & other child ready first.
-get something ready for her breakfast ahead of time. If she's not a big
morning eater, like my sibling wasn't, then be sure to have a breakfast
or protein bar ready to eat in the car.
-help her pick out her clothes the night before.
-don't leave it up to her to hear the alarm & get herself. When you've got
everything else ready go in & get her up in just enough time to get her
dressed, possibly eat something (if not you have to bar for in the car),
shoes ready to put on, clothes ready to grab to put on.
We are all different so for some kids.....mornings are very hard! Try to
work "with" what you have. Don't swim up stream or punish her. Help
her best you can.
Make sure everything else is ready to go before you get her up.
Edit: by going in & getting her up I mean you literally go into her, room &
turn the light on a little low (not too bright), awaken her, take the covers off, help her get her clothes on, help her walk to the bed (my sibling was
like a person sleep walking), get her to the bathroom to pee & brush her teeth etc.
My MIL famously (infamously) dumped a bucket of cold water on her boys (husband included), when they waste away the day just sleeping in.
Didn't take many repetitions.
Best,
F. B.
I remember watching something about smoke detectors and about how sleeping children do not respond to beeping or buzzing or what have you. They recommended a special smoke detector that recorded the parents voice shouting the child's name.
I remember my mom used to take my blankets and sheets if I didn't get up so I would be too cold to fall back asleep.
