M.L.
Gross.... I would tell her to STOP, that is just plain disgusting, seriously, I would walk off and not listen to it... no child should have to listen to their parents sex stories... ever.
LOL - my MOM got the book and now wants to fill me in constantly about all the sex in and and bemoan the decline of her own sex life WITH MY DAD!
My ears are bleeding - someone please make it stop!
Ok - so question time - does anyone else have horrifying parent sex stories they'd like to forget but are willing to share? :-)
Gross.... I would tell her to STOP, that is just plain disgusting, seriously, I would walk off and not listen to it... no child should have to listen to their parents sex stories... ever.
I don't know what you're talking about. My parents have never had sex. :)
My mom and dad seperated when I was a senior in HS. My junior year on college they got back together. She was over at my apartment visiting and got on-line on my computer (although she was/is completely computer illiterate). After a few minutes she looks at me and asks me to help her search for different sex positions/techniques because she wants to make sure my dad is satisfied this time around. Ugh.
Gross! Fingers in my ears....La La La La!!
After I was grown, my mother and I were over at my aunt's pool and the two of them started talking about the, um, failings of older men (my dad and uncle) -including how my aunt wished my uncle would get some sort of "pump" to pump it up! I was literally standing there with my fingers in my ears going, "LALALALALALALALA!" I heard far too much about my own dad and it makes me shudder to this day!
I also came in from work around midnight one summer when I was 16 and busted them naked and doing things in the pool. YECK!
OH -and reading Jennifer S's post made me think about the time my grandmother asked me IN FRONT OF MY MOTHER -when I was about 17 what a blowjob was and how you did it AND what lesbians did to each other -and wanted a detailed description of that. DIED of embarrassment while my mother cackled over the stove.
My mom has always said "we are not friends, I am your mother"...meanwhile she and my grandma were best friends. (I'm not heartbroken over this, I love my mom but we could never be "friends")...
Anyway, when Kid Rock first came out on the scene we were driving somewhere and she says "Oh think this guy is so hot"...I said "Mom, he's so gross looking"...she said "When I was young and went to bars he looks just like guys I would take home and do all night!"...UGH!
No she didn't stop there...she informed just how many men she has been with! Thanks mom...can we go back to non friends?
Now my grandma on the other hand was my friend...she was such a sweet lady, but she once told me about buying thongs at the Jones Store and how my grandpa picked them out for her!
Yeah...things I never needed to know!
I am a rather polite person, yes it is true. I don't hang up on people but I am pretty sure that conversation would drive me to hang up on my mom.
Then probably pull the phone out of the wall just to make sure she couldn't call me back!
This is hilarious!!! I THANKFULLY have never had to endure my parents talking about their sex life (again, THANKFULLY!!!). I'm mortified for all of you that have had to hear such ear numbing information! Just thinking about my parents gives me the shudders (blahablahla).
When I was 17, my grandmother was teaching me how to sew. We're setting at the machine, my sister and cousin are with us. We're talking about boys and marriage and the fact that my grandpa never lifted a finger ever around the house cause he was very old school. So we get on the subject of laundry (or sex, if that's your word) and out of no where, my grandmother tells me...yanno, there were days when I was so tired I just told him to pull my gown tail down when he was done.
*insert cricket noises and confused looks here*
Yeah. I loved my grandmother's stories.
On a lighter note, my mother informed me that my dad was uncircumcised during a conversation about circumcising my own son. I coulda gone my WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE without that little tidbit of information.
I feel ya. :)
Ah yes...my mom will come up with comments that make me want to run and cry in a corner - but I've learned the best way to stop it is to immediately hit her back with one :).
Thank god my parents don't ever talk about their sex life BUT my inlaws do on a regular basis! It's awful and we try to stop them but nothing seems to work =O I really don't need to know how many hotel headboards they've ripped off walls!
YUCK enough of that - my girlfriend just bought the book 50 Shades of Grey and she read the entire book in a day! She said it was the best book she'd ever read - there are over 350 holds on this book at our library - so I'm getting my girlfriends copy this weekend! I'm curious to see what all the fuss is about!
should I go with the walking in on my mom and step-dad having sex story or my mom telling me to check a certain drawer in her bed (she had a pedestal waterbed with drawers under it at one point) for something or other and finding the LUBED vibrator instead of the item I was looking for story?
It was truly horrifying for me at the time of both incidents ... now ... eh not so much LOL