Aggressive/Bossy Behavior???

M.,
I also have a son about your son's age, the second child as well. He, too, has started yelling and bossing a lot lately. After reading everyone else's post, I think maybe it's a phase? I think all of us with more than one child could probably spend a little more one-on-one time with each of them to aid in combatting negative behavior. However, my son is bossy even if we spend an entire day alone! Every time he uses that rude tone I let him know it's rude and that I won't respond to whatever demand he is making until he uses his manners. I try not to step in when my children argue (I have three), but when people forget manners I do remind them. Unfortunately, these reminders haven't seemed to stop my son from being rude, at least initially. I just plan to continue reinforcing positive behavior and making sure he uses his manners (even if I have to remind him) before I comply =)
Good luck!

My daughter went through this at about 3 1/2. Her preschool teacher pulled me aside to tell me that for the past 2 weeks she had been hitting and yelling at other children and taking toys away and they wondered if it was a delayed reaction to her little brother who was about 8 months at the time and really starting to get more attention because he was moving around and demanding it. She normally wasn't like that at school (I stress at school, because she is like that at home with her brother). I think part of it is attention and some of it is copying other kids. I agree with the other mom that if you could try to spend some alone time with your son it may help (very hard to do with 2 I know). We also told her that this behaviour was unacceptable and there would be consequences for it. It stopped after a few weeks. The other thing I will mention, because I think it was part of the problem here, is that my husband would "play" with her and some of the games involved play hitting. He also would say things like "if someone bothers you, hit them back." Well, 3 year olds can't differentiate the difference between play and reality and they will practice what is preached to them. So take a look around and see if he is getting some of that from someone else in his life or if some of his TV programs have that going on. I have had her imitate some of the actions of TV characters that act like that. Good luck

I had to laugh when I read you bio. I am also a 29 year old SAHM with an almost 3 1/2 year old boy & 17 month daughter. My son is also aggressive and a bit bossy. He really started doing this when I was doing day care for his niece. When I was pregnant with my second I had to stop watching her because I couldn't control him because I was too tired all the time. It truly seemed as though he resented that I couldn't give him enough attention. Now at home he will get aggressive again if I am giving too much time to his sister. Two things might help. One trying to create at least a little time alone with just him and make a point that it is special time just for him. Hard to do with two & working, but maybe in the evening when you have help?? Consistancy is also the most important thing to help with the issue. It can be very hard when you have your attention divided by other children, but at least for my son it seems that it is key to his listening. He will constantly push to see if I will follow through whatever the punishment it. Another thought is create a waiting spot. Everyone takes turns using the waiting spot so each child gets a chance to be first with activities. Then their be a punishment if they don't use the waiting spot. You could even make them think the waiting spot is VERY special place (like a privilage). Just a thought. Hope these suggestions help.

Well, I must be getting "payback" for having such an angelic little girl first, because my son is ALL boy. He's almost 2 1/2 and very aggressive. He and my daughter (almost 6) rough-house a lot. I tell him every time we go out, "No kicking, no hitting!" Then I catch him doing it, tell him not to, and 10 seconds later he's doing it again! Did he not just hear me? Am I talking to myself. I'm sure all of the other kids heard me! It will drive you crazy if you let it. Just keep reinforcing your standards, using "time out" if needed, and stick to your guns. They will eventually learn that you mean what you say, and say what you mean.