My son is 10. He still believes in Santa, although with a lot of questions now. My husband and I are disagreeing that we should tell him about Santa. My husband thinks that he is going to get made fun of since he is 10 and still believes in Santa. I think that we should let him go until he continues to ask many questions or until everyone at school does not believe in Santa anymore. When he does ask questions, I do not lie to him. I sort of come back with questions like why do you not believe, and so on. I do not come out and tell him that there is a Santa because I do not want to lie to him. I just try to get around it with answering his questions, but not directly.
He has not said anything about his friends at school saying anything about Santa.
I was curious as to how old other kids were when they stopped believing. I know I was older than 10 before I stopped believing. We also have a 3 yer old little girl and we need to make sure that even when my son stops believing that we make sure he does not say anything to her.
I was curious if there are any teachers out there and at what age they start talking about this in school. I don't want him to get made fun of, but I also think it's sad that at age 10 the fun of anticipating Santa's arrival is almost over :( Kids just grow up too quickly now a days.
There was a great piece in the NY Times blogs about this just before Christmas. They had short pieces from 6 people coming from different angles about how/when to tell.
http://roomfordebate.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/12/22/the-tru...
Hi J., Honestly, I don't remember when my girls started doubting about Santa...I have always insisted that Santa is the spirit of Christmas and everyone believes in the spirit of Christmas. I vaguely remember having a conversation with my older daughters that they had better never take Santa away from their little sister at some point in time and they did respect that. Thank goodness. Kids do grow up too quickly these days...which is why I did my best to allow my children to be "kids" as long as I could despite public opinion. Best wishes.
My 11 yr old believes, with a grain of salt.
I believe, and I'm a 48 year old 'kid'.
Since when has belief in anything had to do with facts and logic?
Whole religions, both major and minor, survive this way.
Beliefs are very personal, and even if you and I believe in totally opposite things, we can still both be %100 correct.
It makes for a fun and interesting life!
Hi J.,
I think it's sweet that your son still believes. My son will be 7 in a few months and he still believes as well.
I think I believed until I had my learner's permit! LOL Or at least that's what my mom would say.
This year, my son made a few comments in the weeks before Christmas like "Elves are fake" and "Santa's not real" but come crunch time, he was a believer, hook line and sinker! LOL I think he may have heard some things from classmates or whatever, but he still believes for now.
As for school, I know my son did an entire unit of reindeer crafts/etc so I guess first grade is firmly on board still.
I think your son will ask you directly O. day if there really IS a Santa and at that point, you can be honest with him.
I recommend you tell him yourself now - it's important he maintain a feeling of trust toward you as he enters his teenage years. If he finds out from his friends first and is in any way embarrassed by that, you may be creating a more negative situation than you would have guessed. Whatever you decide, prepare yourself well for his reaction - he may not mind at all, but I know my husband was furious when he found out there was no Santa as a child.
We personally chose to tell our son from the age of two that Santa is a character...kind of like the characters at Disneyland. We explained that it can be fun to pretend that Santa comes down the chimney with gifts, so that's why some children believe it.
My two older boys were around 8-10 when they found out. I would never tell a child that Santa Claus doesn't exist. Let them learn it on their own so the magic lasts as long as possible. Many kids have others comment that he's not real cuz there's always someone who learned before them, so I wouldn't worry about it. Let it go, let him enjoy it as long as possible. You're only a kid once.
K. B
mom to 5 including triplets
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It's usually around 4th grade that they start to talk about Santa's reality together. If he's not bothered by anything with his peer group, I see no reason to give him the facts if he's not asking. However, some kids do get upset when they find out that it's a game. I guess you'd have to gauge your strategy by how your child reacts to difficult situations in general. If he reacts badly, then you might tell him when the holdiays approach next year. But I agree that you and yoru husband need to be on the same page when talking about it. However I bet by then, he'll have figured it out hiimself!
I never told my daughter - she just figured it out over time on her own - as I did when I was a child. I think that's great because even though you question, there is still a little bit of wonder ....
My older two found out last year (just about 12 and 13). I was very lucky to have them believe that long. It is so magical :) I say let him go until he comes to you....which is what my kids did right on christmas eve! I agree with some of the other moms, they grow up so quickly....why rush this??
My thought is that I would rather my child hear the truth from ME than from the kids at school and have to come home and say "Mom, is it true?" My kids were each 8 or 9 when they 'found out'.
As far as keeping the secret from your daughter, what we did with my oldest was include him in the Christmas Eve preparation. We would let him stay up late, arrange the wrapped gifts under the tree, prepare the cookies & milk for Santa, etc. That allows him to keep the excitement of it all, and will make him more likely to keep the secret.
Hi, J.:
I am looking at this from a different point of view:
It is not about who is right or wrong, but you and your
husband's method of coming together as a team.
This is an example of how you and your husband are going to be resolving issues concerning raising of your children.
You two need to come up with a solution together in handling this situation.
Good luck and thanks for asking. D.
I know the kids in school let it loose when I was in 3rd grade. My neice just turned 11, and she still believes (though i was shocked at that!).
I don't know what i will do when my girls are older. I'm not a big fan of Christmas though, so I'm hoping they figure it out sooner than later. :-)
My daughter made it through 5th grade and 10 believing in Santa. She told me that the majority of her friends did not believe in him any more, and I don't really recall any of them teasing her about it. I think most kids are envious of the ones who still believe, because Christmas is a letdown after Santa is no longer real. When she asked me about it, I would say, "As long as you believe in Santa, he is real. Once you stop believing, you have lost Santa." She is 11 this year, and I know she knows the truth, but she still maintained that she believed in Santa. In the rush of our kids growing up, I was pretty happy that she believed for so long.
A few of my nieces and nephews asked to be told the truth about Sants when they were 10-11. Their parents were honest with them as they asked not to be lied to and many of their friends at school were saying that Santa wasn't real. One SIL told her oldest the truth and then allowed him to help "play Santa" for the younger one for a year or so until the younger one learned the truth. That gave him incentive to not spill the beans. He thought that was a lot of fun and was disappointed when she learned the truth.
My oldest is 9 and with help from her friends she knows. We do talk about Santa with my younger two and I think she loves the idea of Santa and she plays along.
I disagree with your husband, let him believe and have fun with it.
I agree with Celeste's post. I still believe in Santa - or I should say in the spirit of giving and generousity that has been personified in the image of Saint Nicholas. December 6 is a special day in my family and when you learn more about how the tradition of Santa Claus started and how it goes back to a real person in the 300's, it is a lot easier to believe in the spirit of Santa. I have 2 teen-age boys who learned about Saint Nicholas at an early age.
We have three kids, 11, 8 and 8. When our older was about 8, we started telling them that even though some people did not believe in Santa, he will always come if they believe. It's like God (if you're religious this makes sense to them), you can't see him but he is there. He doesn't have to be tangible to be real. Santa is the same. I'm sure my son has a pretty good idea of what's up, but as long as he "believes" Santa comes. I was lucky that we had an acquaintenace who had an 18 year old and she still believed and so he still came. She never asked directly either.
Omg just got questioned ten mins ago I told my daughter the longer u believe the more u get I have 2 others to keep from my oldest and I never discussed she just knew by next year he will prob have figured it out and u won't have to worry anymore
