N.D.
Hi there,
Well, I wanted a bit of separation between my kids so we started trying when my daughter was 2 1/2. Well, to say the least circumstances changed our perfect 3 year apart plan. We lost 2 pregnancies and, at 37, we finally had our second child. My kids are 4 years apart. There are MANY things I love about the separation now.....my daughter is so independent and helps out a LOT with her baby brother. She is so interested and wanting to help. It was also nice that I could reason with her and she understood that the baby needed some time and she could occupy herself in those beginning months a bit better. At 4 she just "got it" better than my friends kids who were much younger and more than she would have at 3 and it was easier for me to have one that was pretty independent. It was also nice that she was in school and I had some time each week to bond with the baby and some time with just one child.
Now, saying that, it was VERY difficult for me to reenter the newborn state after being away from it for so long. Our son had a lot of health issues and this first year has been really hard. Most of my friends have kids 2 1/2 to 3 years apart and although they say the first year was insane, they like the age gap. The kids are close and occupy each other.
I was worried with such an age gap that they wouldn't play together and be close. He is only 14 months but my daughter (who's 5) plays with him like mad and can't wait for him to get up so she can play with him. Those worries are long gone.
I think another plus is that she'll be in K next fall and I will have every morning to do the things with my son that she and I were able to do when she was a baby. Some mommy and me classes and such. I like that too about the age difference. I wanted him to have some uninterrupted time like she had and not have to worry about her and what to do with her while I am in a class etc....
I think long term it will also be beneficial financially as I only had one full year to worry about daycare costs with both of them (which is astounding!!) more time to save for college too!!!
I guess really, it works out the way it should no matter what. If you wait it could take some time, if you want it now it could also take time or it could happen right away. No matter what, there are pros and cons to all of it I think and you will adjust to what ever situation you are given. If you are ready, I'd go for it!!!
Hope this helps!!
N.