After School Routine with 2 Kids

I always liked the routine my babysitter as a kid had for all of her charges. Once we got home, it was snack time: piece of fruit and a sweet. After that, homework. No one left the table until homework was proven to be done. After homework, we were allowed to play outside, practice our dance lessons or music lessons, work on a craft project, listen to music, etc. As you can imagine, on the longer days, we played outside until we were picked up. On winter days, we were doing crafts or baking.

I've tried doing this with my family, despite ragged afternoon schedules, two jobs, etc. It works fairly well. I think in your case, the snack at 4pm would tide your little ones over to dinner with hubby at 6pm. Not sure how much homework a 5 year old has, so that might be a good hour for some safe tv. I know I used to show my kids old musicals or old Disney films (stuff from the pre-Beauty and the Beast era). "Singin in the Rain," "Bye Bye Birdie," "Sword in the Stone" and "Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh" gave me and the boys something fun to sing and dance to as I prepared dinner and got a load of wash going.

Today, at 12 and 16, we still have pretty much the same routine, although I discourage tv during the school week. Too much racket and it creates way too much lack of focus.

I've found routines to be very comforting and I think they make life easier. It's nice to know what you have to do on the days when thinking is hard.

Good luck!

Hi J., I really like your question, and was curious to see the responses since I have 2 kids myself, similar ages,....

I think it is good to have a routine. It is also good to figure out what the needs of each person are going into that time frame.

For example, I've figured out that sometime betw. when I pick my kids up (together at 3:30) and 5pm they are going to be hungry and raring for either a solid snack or an early dinner. Since we are not the family who eats early, I go for the snack option most of the time.
as to when the snack happens, that is left up to flexible assessment - either in the car (if I remember) or as soon as we get home.

My kids play together really well most of the time (2.5 and 4) but these days I am starting to notice my little one getting more pissed off and voicing their opinion more forcefully about what they want, which doesn't go over well with the older child, who is used to calling the shots. So usually I tell them in the car on teh way home what needs to be happening.. if they are grumpy and need some alone/quiet time then I will inform them before we get home. If they seem cheerful and enjoying each other's company I will say, hey as long as you guys can play together nicely, you can ... do ... whatever you have lined up for them.

In terms of activities. That 15-20 minutes of alone time with your older child is really a golden moment to spend some quality one on one time with them making them feel special. Why not give it to them and let them direct what happens during that time?

and then from 3:45-5:30 that's almost two hours.
you can either look at it as a solid block o' time or that
is 4 25 minute segments
or
11 10 minute segments
etc.
(allowing time for transition and clean up from any one activity to another)
I have sort of created a couple play areas in our house one with a kid sized table and chair that is on a floor that can get messy and I ask for the kids to go find something they want to do. I don't really mandate that the older one plays with the younger one but if they are doing something interesting usually they other one will want to help anyways. If you really need your younger daughter occupied while you are getting dinner set up, why not have some special intriguing "dinner toys" that come out ONLY when you are trying to set up dinner? that might help keep their attention on it since there will be less time for the novelty to wear off.

When I was growing up we had dinner at the table every night when my Dad got home. She was a school teacher so we'd get home around 4:00. I had about 30 minutes or so to watch a show or play with toys and then I had to help with dinner. I would set the table when I was small and she'd tell me I had to put down place mats, then silverware, fold napkins and all the other stuff. This kept me busy and got me involved in the process. As I got older I would help with cooking. Our family ritual revolved around preparing and cleaning up after dinner. It didn't take a lot of work on my mom's part but it did give me structure and allow her to get stuff done.

I'm on a similar schedule, working in the morning while the kids (ages four and seven) are in school, then rushing around in the afternoon.

I do recommend some sort of schedule. Our activities vary a little each day, but are somewhat predictable. One afternoon might mean a trip to the gym and the next day we run errands, next day back to the gym. One activity that may work for all of you is games. Hide and seek works across a lot of age groups. Have your two pair up and hide from you and vice versa. Art projects -- save paper tubes and use colored paper and other supplies to decorate them -- can cross age groups, too. My kids also like trips to the park.

I don't know that you'll always get your oldest to play with your youngest. In my household, that just tends to lead to fights while I'm preparing dinner. I would try to find them individual activities that will keep them occupied. This is the ideal time for my son to go on the computer and my daughter to do her coloring.

Good luck!

Well my kids are 4 years apart.
My eldest child is in school and has homework.
After school.... my youngest naps, and also my eldest (if she is tired) and homework is done RIGHT after school..... we come home, have a snack and she does homework.
By then, I have already made dinner as well. So I don't have to rush around, in the late afternoon/early evening to make dinner and entertain EVERYONE at the same time.

You need a routine and a structure otherwise everyday will be chaotic.

To me, a 4 year age difference is great. I don't have a problem with that.
When my daughter was in 1st grade, she had homework everyday.

But, you cannot make your son, 'play with' your youngest. HE needs to have his own time too.... after school and to relax... not babysit. He is the oldest... and I think, even for my oldest, they NEED their own time too. Your Youngest, can play on her own too. My kids do, when I am in the kitchen.

all the best,
Susan

I guess you are struggling with the time between 4 and 5:30. I would say you should give your son plenty of attention during this time period, since you have been away from him all day, so first thing after you pick him up is to do something that he enjoys. Go for a walk together, play catch, read a book and discuss school that day (of course your daughter will be there, too, but let your son choose). After he has gotten his attention fix, let the kids play or (yikes) let them watch a video. For a long time, PBS had kids shows until 6:00 so I let them chill in front of the tube while I made dinner for 30 minutes to 1 hour. They knew that when Barney was over, it was time to wash hands for dinner. Good luck.

As your kids get older with more activities like after school sports, etc. it will get crazier. That's how ours is now, and my kids some days have one to two hours homework every night. On crazy days, I try to have dinner done, or at least started, before the kids get home from school. They come home, have a snack, do some homework, then go to their activities, and come back and do more homework. (They don't have activities every day - maybe twice a week soccer practice or something like that.) Then we have dinner. They have a little TV or computer time squeezed in there to have some down time. My husband doesn't get home until around 6-6:30, so I have more time to have dinner ready, etc. I think structure is best - I've heard and read that when kids have structure, they do better in everything.

I second that your 15-20 mins with your older child is precious time. Why not bring a book (or coloring book) and do that together in the car? Let him sit in the front seat while waiting at daycare. Bring a snack and sit outside and eat it together.

Then when you get home, I'd say to designate some time to play with both of them since you don't have to get dinner ready right away. If your younger one is hungry, give her a snack. Play with them (doing whatever) for about 20 minutes then give your son the option of something to do - such as blocks, stickers, etc. If you could get them to watch a cartoon while you are making dinner that would help. Or enlist your son's help with dinner and let your daughter roam around and play.

Try to get outside each day for 20 minutes.

So your afternoon could look like:

3pm: Pick up son / snack or reading/coloring together
320-4: Pick up daughter / drive home
4-420: Play inside (free play as in play whatever they want)
420-440: Play outside
440-5: (or however long it takes) Homework or reading time. This could go for both kids. Give them a pile of books, have them read to you, you read to them. This could be inside, outside, in the bathtub, anywhere they choose
5-530: Make dinner (kids either help, watch cartoons or have a designated project for them). My daughter loved stickers at that age. And your son could play with legos or whatever he's into.
530-6: Dinner
Then after dinner let your husband play with the kids while you clean up. Take them back outside, watch a cartoon together, go on a walk, bathtime then bedtime.

Good luck!