M.R.
T.,
I have two kids. Mine are 4 and 8 yrs old. Maybe I am missing something BUT I don't feel this is a holding/spoiling issue. (I believe in holding children too...and not the spoiling theory anyway.)
However, my gut is saying something isn't right. It could be rather simple...and probably is. But I think maybe it's not the route others are going with this. I don't know why exactly I feel this way, but I have always believed that Mothers have instinct for a good reason.
I had a situation with my son at 4 months. He SCREAMED at bed time, and I don't mean just crying...I mean full board throwing up screaming, turning blue the whole nine yards. NOTHING would comfort him and it usually lastd a couple of hours! He slept great for naps, he did not have colic, he was happy otherwise.... Blah blah. The pediatrician said it was night time routine issues. It was colic, it was that he needed a strict schedule, blah blah... after a couple of weeks and SEVERLE Dr appts and nothing working...the nurse even told me "You are a first time Mom and worry too damn much !"
To make a long story short... I knew there was something more going on. He had a gastrointestinel infection and it was causing him pain at night. Now the symptoms were strange because it didn't bother him for naps. But I KNEW something was going on and I believed in my instinct and starting calling specialists until someone would listen. After the 1st treatment he NEVER did it again and was very happy and slept great.
My point being that I don't have the answer for your child. I do feel that if YOU think that this is odd, that it may be and you should keep at it until you figure it out. To me it seems that maybe physical comfort...maybe sitting in the car seat soothes him from something he feels physically. Like back ache, reflux.... I don't know just ideas to start you thinking.
BLESSINGS!
M.