Advicefor Special Needs Child

My son was diagnosed with ADD last year at the age of 17. What helped my son is that he has an Uncle who also has ADD and we had him speak with him so he knew there was no stigma attached to the diasbility. We also had him speak with a psychologist who specializes in this area. He only had two sessions with him but it also helped.

There is a new book coming out written by a college freshman at UC Berkely who was diagnosed with ADD when he was young. It is getting good reviews and I plan on reading it and having my son read it. It's Called "ADHD & Me: What I learned from Lighting Fires at the Dinner Table" by Blake Taylor.

When my daughter was diagnosed with ADD, I wanted a different route than the "one size fits all routine" of ritalin for all. Now I understand there are other medications out there, but I opted to go homeopathic. It was more out of pocket expense for me, but the homeopathic Dr. (He is an MD) was able, over time, to help with ADD, focus, aggression, eczema and warts. Maybe looking at an alternative approach is worth it for you with such resistance to meds. Most kids enjoy homeopathic remedies!

Why would you ever call to "complain." My advise is to listen Dr. Laura and read her book "proper care and feeding of husbands", I promise you it will change your marriage.
Good Luck!

Is the medication causing some side effects that your son does not like? There are lots to try, so ask him if that is the problem. If he is involved in the decision making along with the doctor, he might be more willing to take his meds. The doctor needs to be sensitive to this issue and address it.
Good luck!

I had this problem with my son also. He did not want to take his Adderall. At first we would open the capsule and mix it in with his yogurt. After about a week i would give him the option to take it, and if he did not want to we would put it in his yogurt. Now he takes it all the time because he knows it helps him. He calls it his awake medicine, and he knows he does better with it.

Sometimed it just takes time to get them used to the idea that they need to take medicine.

have you read the bood by jenny mcarthy. she has her son on the glutten free diet. good luck and god bless you!!

I am in a similar situation but, I manage my son's diet with diet rather than meds. He does really well at my house, but then goes to Dad's and it's a free for all with food and no real discipline or structure.

Have you tried some type or reward system? Offering him something as simple as a "date with mom" to the movies or something he would value for consistently taking his meds might help. It helps with my son to encourage him and to motivate him to take it.

I would definetly look into Feingold Program or GF/CF diet to augment the meds.

Good luck!

Hi J.,
You didn't mention how old your son is. One of our daughters was diagnosed last year with ADD/ADHD and oppositional defiant disorder. Last year, 4th grade, was a very tough year for her I took her to a counselor, we took classes on how to deal with her. We are trying everything in our power to help her and stay away from the medication. In Sept. of '07 I took her to a holistic doctor. His diagnosis was food allergies. In addition, to eating organically and avoiding certain things, she takes 2 remedies and let me tell you WHAT A DIFFENCE it has made.
To answer your question the medicine or "remedies" do help them to be more in control of themselves to make it through the school day. They may want to promise you they will behave but really, they can't help it. To me the most important thing is that they are able to do better in school, gain self confidence and self esteem. They aren't acting out because they want to and they just need a little help and lots and lots of love. Is your son old enough to realize that he isn't stuggling as much when he takes his medicine. Nobody but you, his dad and him need to know and that seemed to make a big difference to our daughter. She was very worried about other kids making fun of her. My answer was to blame me and she could tell her friends whatever she wanted or nothing at all. I hope this information is helpful to you and your son.

I have a friend that takes ADD medicine and he was telling me about side affects that he doesn't like. Then I was reading in a book by Dr Schwarzbein. She said that many people could avoid taking the medication if they changed the way that they eat. She has been able to help a lot of people with serious illnesses be healthy by changing their diet. You may be able to help your son by researching more natural means that can improve his ability to handle life. I feel that our society is too quick to take a pill for our problems without looking for a source of the problem and fixing things from the cause. DR Schwarzbien's book "The Program" would be a place to start but I am sure there are other resources as well.

I wish you and your sons the best and hope something I have shared will be of help. J.

Did you try dietary changes first? Maybe your son is trying to tell you he doesn't like the way the medication is making him feel. There are so many other possibilities for your child. I would check into alternatives that could help him behave better as well as keep him off of the medicine. I am a teacher and I hate to see kids drugged up and dosed out. I would much rather see the junk food, carbs, sugars, and caffeine go. An organic diet of fresh fruits and vegetables with whole grains and small doses of meat, mostly fish and poultry would be the way to go. Trader Joe's is a great place to start looking.

You've got some great advice here. My brother has severe ADD and was on meds during his school years. He was also very resistant to taking the meds claiming he hated to medicated and did not like the feeling. The meds helped tremendously for school (he was failing prior to meds) so he and my parents came to an agreement. He wanted to feel he had some control so they compromised with: he had to take meds on school days, and he could choose no meds on weekends. This may not be the doctor's favorite because of the inconsistancy, but it helped a lot with my brother's attitude toward it, feeling he had some say in it. (He was aware of the difference it made in school.) I don't know how old your son is. If he is younger you probably don't need to negotiate, but if he is older, he may want some control. just my thoughts...

Hi J.,

I have two little boys myself and my oldest who just turned 7 was diagnosed with ODD. Which is very similar to ADHD (and ADD). He was put on medication last year in kindergarten due to behavioral issues in class. He is young so he doesn't fight me on taking the medicine, but when he first started, he did question it. So I was very honest with him and told him that it wasn't because he was bad or anything, but because it would help him make better decisions in school, and it would help him focus on his homework too. I told his teacher about it and both kindergarten and now first grade teachers have worked with rewarding him for his good behavior. This also helps him because he was so used to getting in trouble for bad behavior, now he sees the rewarding part of having good behavior.

Just let your son know that it's there to help him!! Do his very best!!

I was very concerned with putting my son on any medications,especially because he was so young. But let me tell you, it has made a world of difference for him! His report card this year were all high marks,which was incredible considering last years.

How old is your son? I know it must be hard if he's older. I've often wonder how my son will react with it when he gets older. ODD stands for "Opposiotional defiance disorder" so you can imagine my concern.

Good luck! Oh, I almost forgot, I guess it wouldn't hurt to put it in his water or juice or whatever he drinks in the morning. I don't know how well this would work for you or for how long, but it's a temporary solution. Good luck. I wish you well!

If your son is going well with the medication, tell him it helps him do better in school. I have a son who is ADHD and nothing worked. He is very impulsive and sometimes doesn't even listen to me. The father doesn't understand taking care of child is stressful. I am a single mom myself, so it is difficult to keep up with boys. Boys do tend to behave badly. They are only saying that so they don't have to take the pill. My son made many excuses to take it either. Good luck.

My son is 7 and he didn't want to take his ADD meds either. After speaking to him, I learned it was because he feels different from the other kids. He doesn't believe any one else in school has to take this medicine. Once, I told him that there are other kids that take it and asked a couple of their moms if it wwas okay if I told my son who they were, he was much better.

Now my son doesn't have to take it because we are using Omega 3's, Juice Plus and then the biggest help has been Melatonin to help him fall asleep at night.

The advice you get is great. I am writing to tell you about a wonderful organization where you can meet with other parents of ADD kids. It is called CHADD. You can look them up at www.CHADD.org. or just google them.
I understand that medicine is one way for your child to stay more focused. It is my understanding that medicine as well as behavior management is the way to manage ADD and ADHD.

I totally understand what you're saying. I'm a mother of 2 girls, my eldest has ADD, and ex-husband doesn't beleive in medication as well, he says that my daughter will out grow it. She has been seen by professionals in this field and they all suggest medication. Anyways, just explain to your son that it is not his fault that he is "behaving badly", that the medication will help him control the chemical imbalance in his brain. Also, praise him when he's on medication and is behaving well. I hope this helps.

Just my personal opinion, any medications that are given to address attentional and behavioral issues need to be accompanied by other behavioral interventions. He may need help with organizational skills and planning to help him be more successful in school. He may need more structure and predictability in both school and home settings. When you teach these types of skills in addition to the medication, then a child may begin to be able to take more responsibility for their own behavior and may require less medication. Parents Helping Parents www.php.com has a very active parent support and information group for LD/ADD/ADHD that has some great ideas and strategies.

Oh, poor little guy! Have you talked to him about why he doesn't like to take it? If it's the taste, perhaps you could disguise it in some applesauce for him. Or are there side-effects he's noticing? Does it upset his stomach?
Also, try asking him if he feels like school is easier for him now that he's on the meds.

You may also want to have a talk with your ex, and ask him (in a non-accusatory way) exactly what he says to his son while he gives him the medication. That can help equip you to deal with whatever emotional issues your son is having about the medication. Perhaps the dad is telling him that he doesn't really need it, or that he's weak for having to take it, or some other nonsense.

In addition the medication, is your son getting any form of counseling? I would definitely recommend getting him to a counselor also, so that he can work through his feelings about all of this.

There are also some therapists who treat ADD successfully without any meds at all - you may want to check into that for him. It takes a bit more effort on the part of the parents and the child, but it sounds like your son would be very motivated to try this.

I am a kindergarten teacher, with a Special Ed. degree. Tell your son that every person's brain works differently and that the pill will help his brain so that he can learn easier/ Then give hive examples of how the pill is working, such as the positive things that the teacher told you.
Good luck. Stay strong in your beliefs and keep working at it.

who told you your son is a.d.d.( A doctor? or your teacher?)Be very careful what you give your son. Please look at the long term problems. What side afects will he have. You don't want a spacey kid.(Teachers like it for they don't have to work as hard to teach your son.) Ask quetions and look up on line to see what the meds. might do to him and or for him. If he won't take the meds. now he won't do it when he is older. This is a hard time for you. I'll pray for you.
From a mom of Five (My son was laborled with A.D.D by the school not a doc. (He isn't)be careful.

I can so relate!.... I have 3 children and an ex hubby who doesn't take care of them at all and rarely even talks to him.... My middle child is now almost 7 years old..... When he was 5 I took him to dr's that DIDN'T believe in medicating children in hopes of finding some other way..... $8000 later, he was on Concerta..... He's been on it now for almost 2 years... My son has a huge heart, but was unable to control the things he would do on impulse and wound up getting depressed about how his actions would affect others........ I used that to get him to take his meds.... He had once told me that he "just wanted to be proud of himself", and when we talked about him and the meds I told him that would help..... I've explained that they are not his "crazy pills", which is a name his big brother felt it neccessary to give them for a time..... Also, if your ex doesn't think he needs to be on it, he needs to remember that not giving it to him half the time won't just affect his behavior, but will also affect his heart, literally.... My son was born with a heart murmur as well and we're more careful than most, but theycan have heart attacks and strokes durring childhood if the dosage isn't consistant..... Anyway, something else that worked for us (once he was on the meds).... We came up with a "catch phrase" once a week that I would let him make up.... It can be anything from "pink elephant" (one of my favorites) to "Transformers"..... That word is their cue to find a place where they can calm down to where they can control their impulses........ It's NOT a punishment!.... He was welcome to rejoin us as soon as he felt better and after some time he was able to tell me he was going to do just that on his own...... Anyway, I hope this helps and feel free to e-mail me with any other concerns, gripes, or funny stories (as they always seem to be full of them, such as my Jordan coating my house in his infant sisters baby powder 2ce in one weekend while I showered!..... Funny looking back, not so funny then!)..... Good luck!

Hi there!
My youngest son is ADHD/Autistic/possible Aspergers... It was like that at first for my son too, starting the medication. But as time went on, he learned that the medicine abled him to do better for himself. He now at age 11 requests it.. especially on the weekends, when we are more lax to give it to him. So if he feels that he needs it on the weekends he asked for it.

Maybe talk to your son, on how the effects will help him play better with kids, build things better.. talking away from the terminal homework, school, chores etc..LOL.. know what i mean??

Hope it helps you J.!!
K.

J., This is a touchy situation. I also have a son who is ADD, although diagnosed in middle school. Medication certainly helped him but he was able to take one dose a day at home in the am. Has he gotten his first report card with improved grades? Does his teacher and you praise him for a being on task and responsible? Make sure he knows that the meds are only to help him be successful throughout his day.
We found that my son learned valuable coping skills because he was able to focus for the first time. Good luck.