My 4 year old was on the phone with my Mom, excitedly telling her all about her lesson at pre-ballet - when I heard her say the she was happy to have a new teacher, that Miss Susan used to squeeze her wrist so tightly that it always hurt. My Mom asked to speak to me & asked if I'd known about this. This is my little girl's second year in pre-ballet & the season has just begun. I thought I'd taught her well enough to be able to tell me anything, but I guess that the smiles Miss Susan gave her after hurting her, were enough to forget it.
What upsets me most is that this woman is going out of her way to scare/hurt children as secretively as possible - as we (the parents) are all sitting RIGHT THERE watching behind a glass window.
This isn't an isolated incident either, I have a friend that started her little girl with mine last year, only to have to take her out of the class because she was completely afraid of Miss Susan & would actually stiffen up & cry, begging her Mom not to make her go into the class. My friend's child isn't a shy little girl either, she's very outgoing & easy to manage. She's a little sweetheart.
I wish I'd have asked for the name of another mother who I met during a childrens martial arts class - who recognized my daughter from the pre-ballet class & said that she'd removed her child because of Miss Susan - who was very rough with her little girl.
I've spoken with the owner of the dance studio, who was very apologetic as well as seeming honestly shocked. Although I believe that this woman is sincere, I have no idea why I would be the first mother to do more than just remove my child from a class that she loves - but instead say something. The owner said that Miss Susan was a very energetic teacher & that upon speaking to her about this incident, Miss Susan 'was shocked & upset to know that this happened'. How crazy is that? It isn't as though my child fell and hurt herself during a class. Miss Susan is in full control of her actions & behavior. I told the owner that my child loved the class & I would not allow her near Miss Susan again, but that I also believed the incident be caused due to Susan's irritation toward children & lack of patience rather than it being about her "energy".
Although I believe the owner is doing what she thinks is best in saying that she'll keep an eye on Susan, something makes me wonder if this teacher has done worse (or will do worse) damage to another child. I don't know if I feel comfortable leaving this where it's at.
What would you do?
If it's worth it for this particular school, then talk to the other parents and see if their kid is having the same type of treatment. If they're not, I'd switch schools. Who knows if that teacher won't get fired or backlashed. Or she ends up at another school.
Do you feel confident enought to talk to "Miss Susan" yourself? I know it can be hard to muster up the courage but it doesn't sound like the owner is going to do much about it (if she seemed shocked it but be out of what she thinks is this persons character). I imagine she would have difficulty bringing it up to the teacher and most likely would not make enough of an impression to effect a change. I can almost envision a discussion in which they think you are an over-reacting mother and comisserate about how hard it can be to handle a group of small children...
Let me share with you how I handled a similar incident:
I once had an incident when I picked my daughter up at preschool and her class had a substitute teacher. The teacher had a child by the wrist kind of dangeling him (feet were not touching the floor) over the spot on the carpet that he was not cooperating about sitting on. I was horrified! I immediately stormed over to her yelling "Put him down!" as I came. She mistook me for the mother and began telling me how awful he'd been behaving all day. I immediately corrected her presumption, gathered my daughter and continued to give her a piece of my mind.
I immediately went to the owner and explained what I had seen. Her comment to me was "some children are easier to handle than others, sounds to me like he wouldn't sit in his spot." (Totally defending the teacher!) I KNEW by that remark that nothing was going to be done, so I called CPS and made a report from my cell phone right there, then stood outside and told every parent coming to pick up at that class what I had seen. Needless to say only 4 of the 13 children were back the next day.
Apparently the sudden drop in enrollment was enough to get the owners attention and she called us all to explain that she would never have that woman substitute again in her school and that our regular teacher would be back the next day and could we please put this "unfortuate incident" behind us.
I never did return (mostly because her first response was to defend the teacher).
Anyway, the point of my long story is that sometimes the person who is directly impacted by the event can make more of an impression. I would go to Miss Susan and explain what my daughter had said happened with her and scare her by saying that you felt obligated to make a report of it and hope you don't ever hear that she is being physically punative with any children again.
I would report her to the authorities.
No teacher should be allowed to treat children like that. And children should not be terrified of thier teachers.
If she does it again call the CHild Protection Agency. I mean it! Abusive people who take their problems out on a child needs to have a wake up call. Since this isn't the first case and it will happen again, make the call. That way she gets consequences for her actions. We make our children responsible for their actions why not an adult. Also, have you tried to speak to her? Maybe if you make her realize what she is doing, she'll stop. Those are a few ideas. Ultimately you have to protect your daughter.
I'd talk to the other parents and see how many other kids she hurt. If it's not a few isolated incidences, and it's many kids and multiple times, I'd honestly really consider going to the police. I know that seems harsh, but if she's fired, she'll just go hurt other kids at another studio. I'd wait, though, and really see the extent of what she is doing before doing something so harsh. You could also talk to her and see where that leads, though it seems like her doing it in front of everyone, in a secretive way, is very sneaky and I don't know if confronting her will be effective, but maybe you can tell her all the parents know and kind of scare her in to not doing it again.
I feel this is a parental issue, not a police/authority issue. I would talk to other parents to see if their kids have the same complaint, but then I would want to talk to Miss Susan with the owner present. She sounds like a mean teacher, but I would have her explain what her discipline is, why she seems to try to hide it and what the owner feels is acceptable. Then I would let her know what I feel is acceptable and what is not. If the owner and she feel this is okay, I would leave and be sure to let others know before joining this school. If the owner doesn't feel this is okay, then she had better let the teacher know and I'd be following up on it. But really, the authorities? That seems way over the top with what you have so far.
It was smart of you to tell the owner. You might also mention to the owner that you are considering reporting Miss Susan to the authorities and will get letters from some of the parents whose children dropped out of Miss Susan's class to help back up your own experience. If the owner is smart, she will demand something better of Miss Susan or fire her. And you can report her to AZ Child Protection Services - call 1-222-SOS-CHILD. Good luck!
I would call the police and have charges brought against anyone who physically hurt my child. NO IF'S ANDS OR BUTS!
That sounds strange too me - that no other parent would mention the teacher hurt their child or was "rough" with their child when pulling them out of the class. It may be worth a call to child protective services. Ask your friend who's daughter is scared of the teacher to call too. If the studio owner won't do anything on her own, this may encourage her to take more serious action.
report this immediately to the director of the school - press charges against the teacher for assualt - and if the teacher remains on staff remove your child from the school
