Advice or Thoughts on Social Outings

I don't like it when complete strangers run their fingers thru my hair either... at least until i've had a few drinks :P lol.. kidding.. Its a little creepy to me too, but not enough that I'd say anything, just probably carry a little thing of germ-x. To some cultures it is bad luck to the child if you don't touch it, like you'll give it the evil eye. And some people just can't keep their hands off a cute little baby! If I see a cute little baby I always want to squeeze it and tickle it... I control my urges of course, but they are there.. :)

Touching babies/small children/pregnant bellies is very cultural, and these people most likely have good intentions. I live in San Antonio and have three darling girls (one with very curly hair too!), and wow - what people will do without asking! People in the Northeast (where I grew up) wouldn't dream of being so open. It would freak me out when older shoppers would come over and touch my 3 month old. So, I sympathize with your situation.

When approached by a Toucher in the grocery store, I simply start moving the cart to give people the hint, usually with a quick "Thank you" for their inevitable compliment. Either that, or move in between the stranger and my daughter with my arm, a bag of apples, etc.

If your daughter is old enough, teach her to say "excuse me" when people touch her unexpectedly, and maybe to gently push away with her own hand. Also, if she likes to shake hands, tell strangers that is the way to greet your little angel ("Clara likes to shake hands when meeting someone.") If she really doesn't like people touching her hair, just mention that "Clara is very sensitive about her hair" when you see people going to touch it. Just the thought of a toddler temper tantrum is enough to scare most of us!

As for your waitress, say something if you feel she is getting overly friendly - maybe the "she is starting to get sensitive about her hair" comment will work. Since she sees your family often, I'm sure she feels closer to you than most guests. Hopefully she will get the hint without you having to be blunt (by all means be blunt if that's what it takes - I don't want hair in my dinner, either!).

On the bright side, children grow out of this "stage" - like it's their fault! Ha! For some strange reason, people don't touch 4 year olds like they do babies. They just talk to them instead. :)

HI I too had this problem with my daughter curly blonde hair and big blue eyes, she always caught attention and it bothered me too, but it drove my husband crazy. She unfortunaltey had breathing problems, so I explained to people that she easily got sick so when people would go to touch her, I'd say politely she get ill very easily, and explain she always plays with her hair. It seemed to work she still drew attention and still does, but it did prevent a lot of issues. Except for the gandma type I hate to say it but there is no stopping them, he he! Just be honest with people!

you shouldnt let anyone touch your child. There are so many bad people out there and you just dont know who they are until its to late. The lady are the restaurant may think its ok because she see you all the time, so what you can do is pull her aside and just let her know that you are now trying to teach your daughter about strangers and how to not let people touch her hair. That is a good way for her to know you dont want her to touch her hair and it will keep her from getting her feelings hurt because you do somewhat know her from when you go eat there. The way you handle strangers just walking up to her and touching her is to stop it before it happens and to let them know they may not touch her. It may feel weird or mean but think of your child and her safety.

I don't think there is any way to easily, politely tell someone you do not want them to touch your child's hair, pinch their cheek, etc.

For people from certain backgrounds, this can be view as a blessing or good luck. I know when I was pregnant my mother-in-law warned me not to take offense to Hispanic women touching my belly. They view it as a wish of good luck.

As for the waitress touching your daughter's hair then continuing to wait tables, I wouldn't be so much worried as to what her hands are passing to your daughter's hair. I would be more worried about the germs that your daughter's hair passes to her hands and then on to the plates of food. I am not saying that your child is dirty or has dirty hair. But think about what a child gets into in a day. When I waited tables I was always told to keep my hands off of my hair (I would assume that would go for other people's as well).