Advice on Wetting

This may sound a little strange, but I went through this with my son. As a last straw, I finally took him to a Chiropractor and the problem was solved.

Hi, D.,
I agree with those who say take her to a doctor first. Some things don't cause noticeable pain, so she could have an infection and not feel much differently. With something like that I would definitely want to rule out anything medical first, and then go from there.

Hi D.,
It can absolutely be an infection she doesn't need to be in pain.Since this is a new issue, you need to get it checked out by a Dr. take her to her ped. and ask them for causes and suggestions. It might be physcological, has anything happened in the last few weeks? Anyone new come into your life? has anyone stopped coming around or passed away? Is she having trouble adjusting in school? I think you are going about it the wrong way you might actually be making the situation worse, i went through something similiar when I got divorced and the Dr. said it was normal, because children cannot express themselves like adults, try to talk to her and see if there is anything or anyone bothering her,( a bully at school, or pressure to do well) reassure her,talk to her maybe she needs counseling do not punish her obviously there is something going on and she needs your support.
Good Luck
L.

Hi,

Personally I would not take a punitive approach to wetting, especially for a 7 year old if this is a recent behavior. I imagine it would be embarrassing for her to wet so I would question whether something medical might be going on that is impacting her ability to make it to the bathroom. I would make her teachers aware of the problem and see if they can assist in prompting her to go every couple of hours to avoid accidents. I would also look into if she has any new stressors going on as wetting can be a response to stress.

I personally would consult a doctor! Maybe she doesnt have strong bladder control!! I dont know if that would cause pain or not, but worth looking into! I might not be her fault!

Yes, get her to the doctors. This is not a normal happening, and it's possible she's making excuses as to why she's wetting because she doesn't know why it's happening! Definitely get her checked out. Call school and let her teacher know what the deal is and ask the teacher to encourage her every few hours or so to go to the girls' room. I wouldn't punish her. I really doubt she is saying "I want to pee my pants." If the doctors don't find anything, maybe they could refer you to someone who could check her out pyschologically. Even if she has a problem in her head, she may not be wetting on purpose. Good luck.

Hi D.:
My son has had a problem with night time wetting off and on for a while. What has usually brought his on (he can go for months without wetting) would be some kind of stress be it school or when my grandmother was ill and passed away, and even when he would change grades at school. Don't tell her though that you are disappointed in her because she is already bothered by this enough. Imaging how mortified she must be when it happens at school or when she is outside playing. I used to work for Drs. Greenfield and Williot. They are pediatric urologists at Women and Children's Hospital (they are the only offical pediatric urologists in WNY, they do not treat adults). We used to get alot of kids coming in with this exact problem. The first step is to start at the pediatricians office. Let them know about what is going on. She may or may not have an infection that could be causing this, or it could be something structural with her bladder or kidneys. She may not even realize that she has to use the bathroom. The pdiatrician needs to be made aware of this. If it is not structural it may be psychological and they could refer you to a behavioral specialist. If the pediatrician feels that she needs to be seen by pediatric urology, they will need copies of any xrays or lab tests that the pediatrician may have done. Pediatric urology will also probaby have you keep a toilet diary (you could do this on your own) and keep track of when and how often she is using the bathroom--when she pees or has a BM, and when she wets herself. This way when you call the pediatrician or the urologist you will have this information already. Also monitor what and how much she is drinking. If she is drinking after supper time that could cause night time wetting and caffeine also stays in your system for 12 hours (it is a natural diuretic--just like when you have a few cups of coffee in the morning and you see how much you yourself have to pee). If she is drinking alot and peeing alot, it could also be a sign that she may be a diabetic. So it is very important for you to call her pediatrician and make a visit to rule things out. Good luck
T.
ps--feel free to email me at ____@____.com

I would recommend first seeing her pediatrician to see if it is caused by an infection or other problem with her urinary tract. It might come down to seeking help from a psychiatrist or psychologist if there is no problem found physically.

Oh, wow. I'd stop "punishing" your daughter for this behavior, and rather look to see what is upsetting her enough to cause it. At her age, she is most likely mortified to be wetting herself, so her embarrassment is "punishment" enough.

My oldest daughter peed her pants a few times at the same age. Turns out that she was afraid of the "sensor potties" at school so much that she wasn't using the bathroom all day, and would wet herself when she just couldn't hold it anymore. The problem with those sensors and little kids is that they don't work very well with their leaning to the side, or forward, or whatever a small child decides to do; and can flush unexpectedly.

Once I figured that out, I talked to her teacher about it, and her teacher suggested that she go to the nurse's office to use the potty there--a regular flush toilet. That worked out great. But then I also came upon the idea part way through the year to get her some small post-its that she could put over the sensor on the toilet so that it would not flush until she took the post-it off. So I got some funky "tape flags" and sent them to school with her.

Sensor potties are probably not your issue since it is happening at home (but then again...perhaps it is just happening at home on school days? Then I would still consider the sensors)...but I would encourage you to look to correcting the underlying issue rather than punishing the behavior.

D.,
I could definitely be a urinary tract infection. Pain doesn't start unless you let the infection go for too long. One of the early signs in frequent urination. Is your daughter going to the bathroom often, then maybe thinking to herself I just went I don't have to go again already? A doctor can test for a UTI very easily by taking a urine sample and putting in a dip stick. The test takes less than a minute and you would have the results that day. I would make an appointment to see the doctor. Hang in there and don't be too hard on your daughter until you find out the source of the problem.

Good Luck!

I had the same issue with my 6 year old. She began wetting out of no where and I thought she was just being lazy. We punished her, took things away, didnt let her have special priveleges, etc...

She ended up having a UTI. We treated it. It came back. Again. And again. Turns out she has vesicoureteral (however you spell it) Reflux, which means when she pees it backs up into her kidneys. A very common side effect to this condition is frequent wetting. I'd bring it up to her doc. They ended up doing an ultrasound on her kidneys and a VCUG, which is a catheter inserted with dye injected into the bladder and then the kid pees it out and they watch to see what they dye does and where it goes. This was how she was diagnosed.

If she is having frequent wetting, it may be caused by something that could potentially damage her kidneys, so get her checked out. Best case scenario, its behavioral. Then you can deal with that once a medical condition is ruled out. Good Luck!

My friends daughter went through that. She ended up seeing doctors and having alot of invasive stuff done. Her mom regrets it now, because as a hindsight she thinks it was unnecessary. Her daughter was quite petite and her bladder was not as developed as it could have been.

Your daughter could have an infection, but it is more likely something psychological, like her not wanting to stop what she is doing to go to the bathroom etc.

I would put her on a schedule, and ask the teacher to follow it too, sending her to the girls room at 10,12,2, and before getting on the bus or something. And do the same at home, send her after school, at 5,7, etc..

Try to reward her for getting things under control. Especially with cool new clothes, and avoid punishing her it could make it worse.

Talk to her school counselor maybe, I am sure she is not by far the first kid to go through this.

Hi D.~

If the wetting doesn't get better soon I would possibly check with her pediatrician about the problem. It could be that she is acting out for some reason, as others have said.

It is also possible that her bladder is not fully developed yet (I had this problem as a child and wet my pants easily until I was about 9 years old). When I had to go, it had to be right then or I risked wetting my pants. The pediatrician would be a good place to start if it doesn't get better soon, it may be something she doesn't have a lot of control over.

Goodluck to you, hope this is somewhat helpful :).

hello D., i am a pychiatric nurse and a mother of a young girl. Has anything changed or been traumatic in your child's life recently? Children tend to regress when feeling a stressor in their lives. Regression could entail wetting themselves as if they were very young again. Just a thought. Get back to me, i hope i can help. ttyl K.

<<<<READ THIS>>>>

First...punishment is NOT the answer.

I have a daughter with a rare condition and until MRIs determined what was wrong, we researched so many reasons for accidents. And although we helped her, we did not cure her. She now has learned to time herself and go every 2 hours whether she feels it or not. Not all bodies respond the same and not all bodies feel urges as strongly. Nerves develop at different rates.

Creative intervention. You want to help her, not punish her. One of these responses said it perfectly....She is not deciding to just "pee her pants today". It may be emotional, mental or physical....but not intentional.

Second...
Let her know that you are concerned and will do everything you can to help her stop it before people think she is not potty trained. She's too big to not be potty trained, kind of silly huh? You know she already is potty trained, she's too big for pull ups and you re not going to make her go back to being a baby. You know accidents happen, and you're going to help make the accidents less and less and then stop. But first find out why there are accidents.

Prior to trying any intervention....make sure it is NOT an infection. Ask her questions because you are genuinely concerned. She will trust you are truly helping, not looking for a reason to punish her. But ask her. Does it feel like she still has to go as she is finishing going? Does she feel itchy? Is her pee very strong? Is it too yellow? Orange? is it cloudy or whitish in the toilet? Does it smell stronger than normal?

The slightest bacteria can cause the muscles surrounding the urethra malfunction. It can also cause more severe bladder spasms. A simple urinalysis will tell if it is urinary tract, bladder or kidney infection. She does not have to have itching, burning, pressure or fever to have an infection.

Teach her about her body....on Wikipedia.com there is a simple diagram of the urinary tract under "bladder".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urinary_bladder

Also whether it is an infection or not, remind her the importance of wiping from front to back not the other way....even if she only peed.

Infection is not the only reason to have a physiological malfunction, ph, weight loss, hormone changes....

Dilute what her bladder needs to hold. Water needs to be consumed every day, especially first thing in the morning. Diluting the pee may not give immediate resolution, but does help.

Little girls learn fast that they can hold their pee. Little boys don't have this gift and usually are the ones having more accidents. Explain that her bladder is like a water balloon with muscles around it. When is spasms and squeezes, she feels like she has to pee. Then, in a few minutes, that feeling goes away. The pee did NOT go away, this her chance to get up and get to the bathroom without doing that embarrassing walk, "happy pee-pee dance" or "holdng herself". Make her understand, she still HAS TO GO. When the spasm returns, it will be worse. There is nothing embarrassing about saying hold on I have to "go", but it is embarrassing to pee in you pants when you are too old for pull ups.

Next, when she understands her body function, make her control some development. It will give her a feeling of being grown up to have such knowledge and control over her growing.

Her bladder or muscles may not be growing or developing as fast as the rest of her. So you are going to take a sheet of paper and keep track of her bladder. Ok, it sounds silly...but this works great for bed wetters too. (I have lots of bed wetter tricks).

In the late afternoon or early evening....whenever you will be together for a while. Have her go to the bathroom, and really push all the pee out. Wait 30 seconds and push again (this gives the bladder time to shrink and empty the last bit). Tell her why you asked her to wait 30 seconds and maybe even do it again. Tell her, holy cow your bladder must really stretch, or its really small. this will get her to do it on her own when she is at school or playing. If she stops to go pee, she will make sure she is empty, giving her more time in between.

Use a beverage she likes, I prefer Ocean spray cranberry grape. She may not like the cran taste, so use something 100% Juice but dilute it with water. Give her 30 seconds to drink the diluted juice (up to 12oz), measure how much she drank. Write it at the very top of the page. This will be the amount she uses. Then write down the date and time. You are going to time how long she can "hold it" without dribbling. It is not damaging to hold it for short periods and this will help strengthen her muscles surrounding her urethra.

The next day, do it again, trying to beat the day before. if she dribbles, the timer stops. She will learn what bladder spasms are; how much time her body gives her in between; and eventually as the muscles are more effective at 'holding it', she will stretch her bladder. You will find a consistency in the time she can hold a full bladder. If you have a measuring 'hat' you can use that too. Those are those little pee catchers that go under the toilet seat to catch and measure urinary output in the hospitals. She will see she is slowly making her bladder a big kid size.

You can eventually increase the amount she rinks and really give her an amount to stretch that bladder. Believe it or not, an adult female can hold up to a liter of fluid and sometimes more.

This seems to help physical (except infection), mental and emotional reasons for accidents. It gives her attention (if it's emotionally craved) in a positve way. You have something very private and constructive the two of you accomplished together. Mentally graduates her to being a big kid. And, physically, she has developed her muscle control and bladder size.

Good luck, I hope this will help!

Hi D.-
It could be psychological and I would definately take her to the doctor if you haven't already. If it is physical, I'm not sure a 7 year old would know how to describe bladder pain, and you and I know what that feels like!
Good Luck. I know things will work themself out eventually. She may be scared to talk about it.
L.

I know nothign about this. But please call your child's doctor and talk to them about it. Also, have you talked with her teacher? I am guessing her teacher is well aware of this...and might have an explantion for you.

My first thought is a UTI. I would get her in to the doctor and have it checked out.

If it's not a UTI, I would then look for an emotional cause. Is she stressed about something? Trouble at school, recent divorce, a death in the family? My youngest son wet the bed for about 6 months after his grandma died. And it didn't start immediately. It was probably 3 or 4 months later. Once he got through the grief, he never wet the bed again.

Good luck!

Take her to a doctor see what he or she has to say and if it isn't an infection or anything like that than there is something that is bothering her. It could be something big or could be something small. She just may not be ready to talk about it. People would be amazed at what can really upset a child. Hope she's okay!

My neice is 6 and suddenly started wetting in school, I spoke with the school social worker she thinks that because of the trama in her life over the last year has taken its toll on her and this is why this is happening she said this happens with some children who have been tramatized in one way or another. It could be anything from a small change in her schedule or something major, talk to your daughter to see if anything could be bothering her also talk to her teacher and if the school has a social worker they can talk to her to see if maybe their is an emotional reason this could be happening. good luck with this.

I haven't dealt with this as a mom, but I'm a teacher and have dealt with it with a few students. Instead of taking things away or giving a punishment (time-out), it may be helpful to offer a positive reward. Such as, if you have a dry day today, we can have your favorite dessert or have a friend over (or other reward you know she'll love.) As it improves extend the reward to a few days then a week. At week's end you may get to go to McDonald's...see a movie...etc. Tell her your plan and together decide on what the reward will be.

Also, there are sometimes stressors at school that she isn't sharing with you and the teacher may not know about it. Guidance counselors at school or good at getting children to open up and often children will share what they won't at home or to their teacher. After you rule out a physical issue, as some have suggested, you may like to ask the teacher if this is an option.

I would definetly look into her having an infection, if put off to long or not treated it could lead to damage to the kidneys. Call her Dr. and have her checked, it's a simple test, just a urine sample. Hope this helps and puts an end to the wetting.

Hi D.,

Not sure if this will help but, When my daughter was between 8 and 10, she started to wet the bed, we weren't thinking much at first because it only happened once or twice.. During this time she also devoloped migraines,and then she coudn't eat.. two years of argueing with the doctors and taking her to a specialist.. Hope was diagnosed with failure to thrive.. she stopped growing, on top of the headaches, wetting the bed and not eating.. Thank god for the peds down at Hershey.. one hour of his time saved my daughter.. he knew exactly what to do.. a hormonal blood test and sure enough she wasn't producing any at all. Come to find out she had a large pituitary tumor.. after the removal it left her completely without hormones.. Today she must replace them everyday for the rest of her life.

Growth hormones shots.. to help her grow, now to help maintain musles and mental staminia

DDAVP.. antidiurectic hormone.... water diabeties..(she can't control her water balance (wets the bed without the pill)

Cortef...adrenal hormone... stress (sicknesses, trauma, )

Synthroid... thyroid hormone (metabalizism)

Zoloft ... Seratonin... mood (depression)

Melotonin... Sleep hormone

Most of these hormones come from the pituitary itself, but others like the antidiuretic hormone come from the hypothalamus...

This may not be your daughter but if there is no explaination as to why your daughter can't control her output.. maybe having her hormones checked could help eliminate what could be causing her to wet the bed..

Feel free to email me if you need a friend..

Hi my son is 6 yrs old and now and was wetting the bed almost every night till a couple months ago -now it is once in a blue moon he does. I took him to the doctor and the only advice i can give is call the doctor and explain - she might have a small bladder maybe? . there are so many suggestions im sure they can help you with. My personal opinion is i wouldnt punish her because she most likely cannot control it for whatever reason. Has there been any changes in her life? the doctor told me sometimes when there are changes they revert back to wetting themselves. im sorry im not much help but i can let you know i understand because my son does it once in awhile now.

D., I can't see the other responses so forgive me if this has been said already. I am a teacher and a mom, I teach 7 year olds as a matter of fact.

The new school year is exciting and stressful at the same time. She may be having trouble adjusting to her new teacher, new schedule, new kids. She may be having peer problems, maybe the teacher is not being sensitive to bathroom needs. It takes 6 full weeks of school for little ones to adjust...

I really, really recommend you not punishing her and take back the responsibllity you used to have when she was little of reminding her to go, limiting her liquids after 6 pm, and writing her teacher a note to let her know your daughter needs reminders to go. That is my advice; punishing her is not the solution- this new behavior is a response to some kind of new situation in her life and more than likely it's the new school year. I"m sure it will pass. If not, see the doctor. Hope this helps!

You could try the opposite, tell her she'll get a treat if she stays dry. If she stays dry a day she'll get a special desert after dinner, if she does it all week, she gets a special new toy, night at the movies with you or something else she enjoys. Good Luck.