Advice on Weaning...

Updated on May 09, 2009
A.S. asks from Dallas, TX
18 answers

Hello,
My baby is now 11months old, and at one year I plan to wean her from breastfeeding. I am a little anxious though...she still sometimes wakes up at night, and I feed her (I know this needs to stop)...but how do I do this? What do I do in the night? Make a formula bottle? Give a sippy cup? Also- the other thing, which makes it a bit complicated, is she is intolerable with milk, dairy, and soy...although she may outgrow or have already outgrown this, I don't know...when do I try dairy again, or try milk for the first time?

Any advice is greatly appreciated...
Thanks a bunch,
A.

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T.K.

answers from Dallas on

If she is lactose intolerant, why wean from breastfeeding? It is now recommended to breastfeed for 2 yrs if possible. Better for her to have her own species of breast milk than another species (cow) or formula---formula is either made with cow breast milk or soy, and has a bunch of chemicals. Maybe you can pump and give it to her in a sippy cup?

What's the rush?

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L.S.

answers from Dallas on

Why introduce a bottle which is yet one more thing to wean? I think that will just complicate things.

What you might consider is just night weaning for now. http://www.kellymom.com/bf/weaning/weaning-night.html

I also would suggest not rushing things when she has an intolerance. Breast milk doesn't suddenly go bad at 12 months. http://www.kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/ebf-benefits.html There are a lot of benefits to continuing nursing past 12 months although you do deserve HUGE kudos for going this far. But since she tolerates breast milk and not soy or dairy (which is what the formulas are made of anyway), why mess with a good thing? Typically, Peds will recommend holding off until after the child turns 12 months to introduce cows milk.

Good luck to you in whatever you decide!

2 moms found this helpful

M.D.

answers from Dallas on

A.,
I'm probably one of the last people that should be giving you advice, I only say that because my son is 2 1/2 and I'm still doing it... I always said once he turned one I'd stop, it's been very hard on me to stop, I get a lot of grief from family... I'm a full time working mother and I need my sleep at night, so he sleeps with me first of all, secondly, I still nurse him when he wakes up. I'm mainly writing because it's not easy to quite, especially when you and your child isn't ready. I'm sure you are going to get a lot of good advice, make sure you are ready and stick to it... It's harder the older they get, let me tell you. I've been saying for 1 1/2 yrs I was going to stop, and I still haven't.
Stay strong when you do!

2 moms found this helpful
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E.B.

answers from Dallas on

Really, it's perfectly normal for her to wake up in the middle of the night to eat, especially if she is only waking up *once* and not even every night. When you say "I know this needs to stop" are you basing that on what other people say, or what you want to do? If you don't want to feed her in the middle of the night, then night wean her. But if you are both happy with it, there is no reason to stop. If she is already taking water in a sippy cup, try giving her that when she wakes up at night. I've done this with all my boys, and it usually takes them a couple of months to transition from nursing to water, but it works. Here's another link that may help:
http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp

As far as the intolerance, that is a good indication you may need to keep breastfeeding. You can try a bit of milk or formula, but if you can keep nursing her another 6 months or so, it will really be the best thing for her. Milk is not really necessary for babies - they can get calcium, vitamin D, etc. from other sources.

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S.W.

answers from Dallas on

You've gotten lots of advice on weaning. Just goes with what feels natural.

On the intolerance to milk and soy, I recommend accupressure. My oldest son and myself had these intolerances. We first went to an accupuncturist (no needles on kids) and they got rid of our issues. They used NAET, you can look it up on the internet. That method only lasted a year on us, but it does last longer on some people. After that we started going to Dr. Kathleen Maher (www.healthbyhandswellness.com) I was allergic to milk for 35 years, one treatement with her and I haven't had an issue in the last 6 years. My son has never had anymore issues either.

Life is hard enough, so I like to make things as simples as possible. Food allergies/intolerances are not simple.

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K.H.

answers from Dallas on

I know you have gotten a lot of advice already, but I thought that I would give you my own experience.

My son had similar issues with milk--which he grew out of. I completely weaned him during the day, and used Rice Milk--make sure you add vitamins though. I continued to nurse him if he woke in the middle of the night. However, since I wasn't nursing him during the day, my milk gradually dried up. When he slept all the way through the night he was completely weaned. We started at about 13 months and it took another 3 for him to sleep through the night.

It is definitely a personal decision, however, I am with another poster, adding a bottle at this point would just be a substitute that you would have to wean him from, and at a year, he should be successful with a cup.

Good Luck!

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D.B.

answers from Dallas on

You should probably ask your doctor all of these qusetions. He/She can better asist you.

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T.K.

answers from Abilene on

If she has a true milk protein allergy, you may never be able to give her milk or soy, but my pedi told me to try it every year on their brthday, and I did, it was not until my son turned 7 that he was able to start drinking milk, and with her allergy including soy, you are going to be really limited to what you can give her. I highly suggest that you NOT feed her in the middle of the night anymore, but supplement her before bed feeding to keep her satisfied til morning. If she is used to a bottle, formula should be an easy switch, but if not, you may have to go straight to the sippy cup with the formula. I know they say milk is super important, but if she can't tolerate it, she can't tolerate it! Both of my children are super healthy (only go to Dr. yearly for their well baby check up) And the lack of milk in their diet has not made a bit of difference. The calcium and vitamins that they need can be found in other foods, so you will need to give her a bigger variety of calcium rich foods. Hope this helps, good luck!

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G.W.

answers from Dallas on

Hi.
I think you may want to talk to a lactation consultant about the milk issues.

My daughter was intolerant to milk while I was nursing. She still is. However, now I can give her Lactose-free milk. I tried soy and rice but she didn't care for those. But, I don't know why your daughter is intolerable to soy, milk, and dairy. Is it possible she was just sensitive to them as a baby but maybe now her more mature digestive system could handle it? If you are personally opposed to them, then of course just disregard it and find other calcium rich foods like OJ with calcium and broccoli. But, like I said, I'd talk to a lactation consultant or maybe even a pediatric dietitian.
Good Luck!

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A.L.

answers from Dallas on

Do what you feel is right. If the time is right to wean then do so...if you feel you'd like to continue then do so. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty about stopping or continuing. That's number one.

If you are ready to wean, make sure you're down to 1 feeding per day, if you're not, you'll want to eliminate 1 feeding/day, once a week. so if you're still nursing 3x/day, you'll go to 2 for a week (or more, if you're still engourged), then 1, then none, each week till you're done. listen to your body and if it takes more time, then so be it. with my first child I had mastitis a lot because I tried to go too fast. It ended up taking me months longer.

Once you're down to the 1 feeding, mine was at night/early morning w/both kids (mainly because I liked to sleep in lol), you can just stop. Both of my kids threw some night time tantrums briefly, lasted about 1 week. I just kept saying, I'm sorry, mommy doesn't have any milk left to give you over and over again. Milk is allll gone. ;) Again, after 1 week or less of sticking to my guns, they got over it and all was forgotten. Oh, I weaned my first child at 11mos (because I needed to get PG again soon due to my age) and weaned my 2nd child at 19mos.

Regarding the milk/soy intolerance. Our house is entirely soy, no milk products. 1/2 the family has issues with it so I don't buy it. There's plenty of rice based options you can try. Some are quite tasty, and remember, she doesn't know what "milk" really tastes like so what may not taste "like milk" to you, may be totally acceptable to her. :) Like many others have said, milk is not a requirement in the diet and there are MANY more suitable options out there.

I think I'd also give the NAET/Accupuncture a try for the milk/soy issues. I have gone to an accupunture/chinese medicine dr in the past and had great results with that. It did wear off for me and I'm back to having major issues with milk so I need to go back soon! I've also got several friends that take their kids to a chiro/accupuncture/NAET dr for everything but their yearly checkups now. The regular drs don't do anything for illnesses usually but the chiro usually fixes them up within 24-48hrs with an assortment of treatment options. I'm planning to take my kids there next time they get sick.

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V.B.

answers from Dallas on

Can you wait until she weans herself at about 18 months? Also, have you tried rice milk? They usually outgrow the yogurt allergy at about 3 and maybe cheese at about 2-3 but the milk may cause stomach upset and diareah all their life. Mu son in law can have ice cream in the evening but no milk in the mornings or during the morning or he is sick.
It is ok not to have milk and you can get calcium and protein other ways.
I saw below a formula sugestion, but it would have to be nutramagen or anothe non dairy formula.I would not introduce a bottle at all at this age since you can go straight to a non drip sippy cup during the day. I wouldn't offer a drink in the middle of the night as it will start a bad habit. Good Luck.

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K.F.

answers from Dallas on

Well, I have two different ideas based on your post. If you are truly ready to wean, then maybe try giving breast milk in a bottle for a few days and then switch to water. Your daughter shouldn't need anything in the middle of the night anymore so if you get her used to the bottle and then switch her to water she'll probably drop the habit on her own.

That being said, if you aren't ready to wean, there is no reason to. I had decided to wean at a year old but when a year came, neither one of us was ready. I finally weaned at about 15 months because she had several teeth coming in and was biting a lot. We were down to just a couple of feedings anyway and she was pretty ready. I don't regret the extra time at all. (and even if you drop the middle of the night feeding, you can continue to nurse if you want, although if you are truly ready to wean then you should be excited for making it a year and not feel bad for weaning!) Good luck!

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A.S.

answers from Dallas on

At that age, my pedi told me there's no need for any middle of the night snacking. She's waking up for this snack out of habit b'c you offer such excellent service & not because she needs to eat.

When she wakes up, go in and give her some brief comfort without picking her up, and tell her it's time to go sleep. Reassure her each time, and after a while she'll get it. She will not be happy about this so expect crying.

I also began weaning at 12 mths; During the first week, I dropped one meal in the afternoon and offered milk in a cup. (You'll need to ask your Dr what to give her since she's shown intolerance to dairy.) Then the next week, dropped the lunch meal. Then the next week, dropped the morning meal. Finally, I dropped the evening meal last since it's the most comforting to babies. By dropping one meal a weak and offering an alternative drink, it allows your body time to adjust and helps baby to adjust as well.

Feel free to take it more slowly based on your body and baby's needs. My son was not fond of drinking from a sippy cup and didn't get alot of milk that way in the beginning, but he learned as we went along.

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R.A.

answers from Dallas on

A.,
I know you have received a lot of advise, but I thought I would add in my 2 cents!
I thought I would wean my daughter at one... but she too had a different plan for us! I took away a feeding, then a few weeks later, another.... and she started getting up in the middle of the night to nurse, which she hadnt done in a long time... so I would nurse her.. it was a road leading to nowhere.... I went back to adding in her regular feeding schedule... and she stopped getting up in the night...
so I waited another few weeks and tried again, this time I took out the morning feeding and she was fine with that... then took out the afternoon one... it was rough, but good distraction measures... offering sippie cup and a snack... well soon enough... at 15 months... I finally took out the night time feeding and replaced it with a cup of water or a bottle with milk..(I know I shouldnt have done that, but it works for us now)... It has been 2 weeks now and she has only pulled at me to nurse only once or twice....
I would talk with your pediatrician about the diary products.
I wish you all the luck in your weaning!

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M.C.

answers from Dallas on

At 11 mos, she doesn't need anything to eat or drink during the night. Give her a good dinner, maybe some milk or forumula at bedtime, and physically she can go until breakfast. Of course, her habits are another thing entirely, if she's used to getting up in the night to feed. I recommend the book "The Baby Whisperer" for suggestions on how to wean her off nighttime feedings. I'm not one for letting a kid cry it out--I find it too heartbreaking--but the author recommends going to her, offering her a paci (if she takes one) or helping her settle down, but staying firm on the no feeding. Another option is, our now 2 year old has recently started waking in the night and saying she's thirsty, so we let her take a sippy cup of water (NOT milk which will ruin her teeth) to bed with her--so if she's thirsty, she can drink, without having to wake us up!

As for the overall weaning, take it one feeding at a time, allowing your body a week or two to adjust to each reduction. And ask your pedi about the dairy allergy!

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E.D.

answers from Dallas on

My daughter is 10 months old and I am also beginning to wean her from breastfeeding. I now only nurse her when she gets up in the morning and before her afternoon nap. Other than that she eats baby food and I give her a sippy cup with breastmilk in it before bathtime. I stopped feeding her at night the 1st time she slept thru on her own (about 4 months). If she wakes up I would just leave her be. Now if she really starts crying you could go and hold her or rock her until she calmed down and lay her back down. My daughter goes to bed at 8 and gets up at 8. We just had to let her learn to comfort herself. At 11 months I plan to just nurse in the am and give her sippy cups the rest of the day. I hope this helps and good luck!

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A.D.

answers from Dallas on

If your daughter can't drink any other milk have you considered not weaning yet?

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A.C.

answers from Dallas on

At 12 months she shouldn't be getting any type of caloric intake during the night, if you feel she needs something offer her a sippy cup of water. Using the sippy cup and only offering water once teeth have been brushed are the healthiest options for her teeth- a toddler with cavities is no fun! She won't get nutritional value from formula at that age anyhow, she should be getting nutrtion from solids during the day if you aren't breastfeeding. And most children are weaned off of bottles at age 1 so their teeth can properly come in.

Since you say she has already shown intolerances to dairy etc I would ask advice from her ped. about what to switch to. Children without intolrences begin getting whole milk at 12 months, I don't know what you should be offering since she can't even have soy- that's a medical question.

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