Advice on Napping

Updated on February 14, 2007
J. asks from Forest Park, IL
9 answers

I know I should concider myself lucky that my daughter took naps w/o argument until 2 1/2, but now she is three and refuses to. She really need one. By 6:00 my normally loving child, is a terror who I hardly recognize. She even sometimes has complete meltdowns at the drop of a hat about her imaginary friends. I don't want to put her to bed any earlier because I would like her to get to spend time with my husband once he comes home from work. Besides getting up at 5:30 in the morning does not appeal to me.

3 months ago we had our second child, and last month we took away her "binky" at nap time. (She was fighting naps before the pasifier was taken away). I know these things may have a part in the whole struggle, but what do I do now? She has only ever had the binky at nap/bet time. Also, the binky needs to disappear entirely. How do I do that and how long can I expect her to be upset about it. I know I should have taken it away a long time ago, but it just did not happen. PLEASE HELP!

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C.

answers from Chicago on

My older son is just over a month shy of turning 3 and is just starting to not nap every day. He still has "quiet time". He plays with his couple little cars he chooses to bring up with him while in bed and if after 45 minutes to an hour, if he's still awake, I go to him and we come downstairs. If he falls asleep in that time, he naps. Doing that has helped him not to have the meltdowns in the evening and he still sleeps his 12 hour nights. That's what works for us for now. Anything quiet your daughter really enjoys that she could play quietly alone with for a quiet time? That at least helps them to not get too overstimulated from the day. Quiet times I know often last through kindergarteners. It at least gives everybody a little break/alone time to regroup for the afternoon. :) I don't know if that helps at all, but that's kinda what's working for us.

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B.M.

answers from Chicago on

I feel your pain. I have a 3 year old and a 4 1/2 month old. My oldest son started refusing naps right after the baby was born. I NEEDED him to sleep. Everyone said "some kids give up their naps around 3" but my son was a BEAST if he didn't sleep. It would be one thing if he didn't nap and was fine by 4 or 5. Not mine!

It was hard, but we did several things. We made a sticker chart and he got a little treat for the days he would take a nap (LITTLE things, like a box of raisins or something). If he got so many stickers in a week, he got something bigger (playdoh or something like that).

Also, when he had meltdowns or tantrums from not sleeping, we took a toy away. So, he had chances to get toys back.

I also timed it that his nap coincided with the baby's, and ended up laying with him for a little bit to settle him down for a nap. After a few months (yes, months) he just decided to sleep again. We ALWAYS made him go to his room for "quiet time" even if he didn't want to sleep. Sometimes he would sleep and sometimes he wouldn't. Its certainly not perfect now, but he is sleeping more than he is not at this point. And right now, they are BOTH sleeping. Ahh!

I hope SOMETHING here was helpful. We've struggled with sleep issues. They come and go, I hope this phase is short lived for you!
B.

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R.

answers from Chicago on

My daughter very abruptly stopped taking naps too. My only advice is that it's worse fight it. Just accept that naps are no longer in her future! I had a hell of a time "forcing" my daughter to sleep.

My doc. suggested that I leave her in her room for "quiet time". Just accept that she may not nap. THis will give her an opportunity to relax and have some needed down time. My daughter never took a pacifier...but I don't think it's a big deal if she has is for "quiet time". I can understand limiting it's use, but maybe she needs it for a security reason??

Oh, the other thing, if she isn't napping anymore, my doc. suggested that we move the bed time up by an hour. So, we started putting our daughter to bed at 6:30! It's slowly been scaled back to about 7:00--but it really helped a lot.

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A.P.

answers from Chicago on

Hi
What I do is similar to some of the previous posts. My 4 1/2 y.o daughter was always a great napper. Now with pre k and other classes we are not always home to nap. And she also turns into a beast on days she doesn't rest in the afternoon. So, on home days I lay her down after lunch and let her watch a video (yes I know how some moms feel about t.v, but oh well). Sometimes she falls asleep so I leave her. Some times not, but she knows this is quiet time and she has to lay there and relax. Then at least she is a bit more happy by the evening and not having meltdowns- even if she doesn't fall asleep.
Good luck!

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T.G.

answers from Chicago on

Since my 3 year old started pre-school she has started to drop her naps. I still put her in bed everyday at about the same time and she turns on her music. Some days she sleeps and some days she just plays. On the days she doesn't sleep she knows not to get out of bed until her music has stopped (the cd is about an hour long). I think a little quite time is good for all of us!

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T.C.

answers from Chicago on

Hi, I don't have much advice here as I write this my 2 1/2 year old is trying to get out of taking her nap and is very crabby when she does not sleep! But, I think you should not worry about what others think and give her whatever comforts her paci, sippy of milk etc,.. to wind down to rest atleast and mabye she will get back in the groove of falling asleep as we tend to try everything until it works and then we have success! plus the addition of a new baby can be stressful as our second is one years old now and having two toddlers is hard! good luck,.. T.

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B.F.

answers from Chicago on

Try having her lie down with a movie, even if she doesn't sleep then she can be more rested.

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C.H.

answers from Chicago on

Hi J.,

When we took my daughters "plug" away it was near Christmas and we told her the baby reindeer needed it & she went along with it, she put it on the plate with the cookies and never asked about it again. Maybe you could try something like that with the easter bunny coming up? As far as the sleep issues, I am very fortunate that my kids all slept when I told them it was nap time. I can still get my just turned 5 to take a nap at least 2 days a week. She is fine w/o it, but it gives me some down time during my 3yo nap.
Some days she just plays or reads in her room and that is ok with me.
Hope something works for you!

C.

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K.S.

answers from Chicago on

I have a four year old who may be on the verge of giving up his nap as well. Every day he does lay down in his bed. I use our small DVD player. I put on a video, and sometimes he falls asleep. If he does not sleep at least he is laying quietly in his bed. This seems to give him enough rest so he can make it until 7:30 or so. I think making them have some down time is essential when they first give up the nap. I remember that we did this with our oldest as well. After a while, she was able to give up her quiet time too and still function the rest of the day. I think when your first gives up that nap, it is harder on the moms then the kids!!
Good luck
K.

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