I wonder if anyone knows a good place to look for marriage counseling? We are Christian and my sister recommended counseling with our pastor, but my husband is very private and does not want people we know to be in our business. So, I want to find someone who could counsel us that would have a Christian perspective, but does not know us personally. Our main issue is he feels unhappy because he thinks I am not affectionate and I have no sex drive or desires at all. It is not that I don't love him, I just physically don't feel any drive or need for that. It has gotten to the point that he threatens to go somewhere else to get what he wants or that he will end the marriage. I don't want that to happen, but I also can't fake what I don't feel and if he thinks I have sex with him out of obligation he gets upset anyway. Any suggestions on where to go for help?
L.,
My husband and I went to the Hyde Park Counseling center in Austin - http://hydeparkcounseling.org/default.aspx
It helped us -
Your pastor should be able to recommend someone to you. I'm sure this is not the first time he/she has run into this kind of situation. My church has a counselor on staff, but she also can make recommendations.
Good luck!!
I got these recommendations from the counseling minister at our church. They are both Christian counselors.
Kerry Williamson (man) ###-###-#### and Deborah Price ###-###-####
You can also call or email Focus on the Family and they will send you a list of recommended counselors in your area.
Good luck. It is a blessing that your husband is willing to go to counseling.
Melinda Longtain ###-###-#### is the BEST family therapist, if you are in Austin. She and God saved our marriage. She has also helped many of our friends!
i am in the same boat. i could do w/out sex staying home with three boys running around i am just not into it!
but i will say you have to fake it for now. try drinking a glass of wine relax. does your hubby help @ the house?
make sure and look at all the reasons why you are not wanting to have sex. Women have to feel close to have sex andd men do not feel close unless they have sex...it is a hard balance! Good luck. make time for yourself
Jim Hoadley... in Austin ###-###-####... I am a therapist and he has been a couple's therapist to my and my hubby for years. Very laid back and extremely helpful. Good luck. I have three boys 2, 4, 6 years... I feel your pain.
Go to a marriage family therapist. Your man needs sex from you! Sex is part of the glue, the destresser, the reconnecter, that every marriage needs. Look deep in yourself and figure out what's going on with you. Fake it till you make it. It's not like it sucks. You can enjoy the fact that you are pleasuring him, it doesn't always have to be about me me me. You may have vitamin and mineral deficiencies, do some internet research. Best wishes!
L.,
You may not need to talk with a counselor. You could try to talk with your doctor about this issue. Stress can have this effect on women. Just the everyday of taking care of a family can physically affect your hormone level which interrupts your sexual desire. Try to talk to your doctor if you can. Then if you do find a counselor. Find a woman. Especially one with experience in this area. You can love you husband like no other, but if physiologically your body isn't responding, it won't help. Hope I helped. I wish I had a counselor name to give you. But I hope I could help.
A. C.
In addition to marriage counseling, have to talked about your low sex drive with your GYN? Could be hormonal related. You might consider asking about an estrogen replacement medication called Estratest, which contains a small amount of testosterone along with the estrogen. That might boost your interest.
I found an article about this topic a few months back and will email you separately. Hope it helps. Your boys need you to stay together and I applaud you for seeking help.
Try Marriage Encounter, is a retreat for couples by the Catolic Church but any couples can assist to live these retreat, it helped my husband and I to have a better relation and to anderstand each other, cunseling did not work for us,
you can found more information in the Church of St. Thomas Moore in Cedar Park or call Mike & Renee Furtado ###-###-####
or go to www.wwme.org
I love our Christian counselor! His name is Steve Stratton and he can be reached at ###-###-####. If he can't take you, he will provide some good recommendations! Best of luck! We have so benefits from years of his wise counsel!
The heck with Hormaones!!! Does that man help you with those kids and around the house? I don't know about you ladies but there is nothing sexier than a man doing some housework!!!!!
Try other churches. Celebration in RR/Georgetown or Great Hills Baptist in N. Austin both have great licensed counselors. The fact that you have three little guys is probably part of the problem. You may need to fake it for a while, but then it could become second nature. Good luck with the counseling.
Hill Country Bible Church ###-###-####) has a list of Christian counselors. You could call them and see if their list can get that specific with regard to your specific issue. There's a woman that specializes in this type of counseling, but I can't think of her name. If you call one of them and they don't feel comfortable with marriage issues, maybe he/she could recommend someone who is. Also, Hill Country does have a marriage ministry that includes crisis counseling. They might be able to pair you with one of those couples, or, if that isn't your church already, one of their pastors.
I would also check with your doctor to see if there is something that can be done medically. Marriage, like parenting, is such a precious gift, but it can be so darn hard! You'll be in my prayers.
I don't have personal experience with either of these guys but I have heard very good things about them and they are both christians..... Sam Adams, I believe he is in the Westlake area and Rick Reynolds...not sure where he is.
Good luck.
