Advice on How to Handle/stop Whining...

I wonder if they just really are hungry? Mine have never done that on a consistent basis.
why don't you cut up some fruit at that point and give it to them.

If the whining is only about food:
Crudites is the answer. Veggies cut into bite sized strips and served with a dip.

Put out your carrot and celery sticks and a bit of salt water or ranch dressing---whatever dip they like-- on the table. Then tell them "This is what I have for you".

Then, ignore ignore ignore. When they say " I don't want that" just tell them that this is what's available. Otherwise, they can wait until the next meal.

Then, keep ignoring. If you need to buy a lock for the fridge, do it. You are the mom, you are in charge, there should be NO reason they are getting out food without your permission. If they are truly hungry, veggie strips or bread and butter should work just fine.

I understand that it's difficult to ignore whining, I really do. I also know that if you give in to the whining, then they *have* you, and yes, it doesn't stop.

Also remember that unless the doctor says they're malnourished, they aren't starving, despite the drama.:)

If the whining is about other things, then let them know they need to talk to you in their 'regular voice' and then, when they ask, do not respond right away. Tell them "I need a few minutes to think about it"... this is about buying yourself some time to really reflect on your decision. If it's a yes, then give a gracious yes. If it's a no, then tell them so and then A. give a reason or B. give a time when that request CAN happen. ( as in "No, we can't have video game time now because it's almost dinnertime, but we can have some time tomorrow." The reason for delaying an answer is to curb future whining-- when we change our minds, our kids think that whining will influence our decisions.

When the whining is really bad(nagging) I just tell the kids "Are you asking me again because you think I'm going to change my mind?" Usually, I get a yes. "Well, I'm not changing my mind and I'm all done talking about it." And then...ignore, ignore, ignore...

Good luck!

Our daughter is 17.5 now. To this day, if I call her Wendy or Betty she knows exactly what I am saying.

She was a classic whiner. So I made up a song.... Wendy whiner go away, come again another day. It got to the point it was funny, she redirected because she knew the name Wendy very well, lol!

Betty came into play when she got bossy with play dates. Bossy Betty go away come again another day.

I'm not kidding... To this day at 17.5 she reacts to those names and relates it to whining or bossy.

This worked for us!

Yes our daughter is strong willed. Don't squash that trait. Believe me, as they get older, it's a great personality trait!! Just redirect, communicate, and support your children

One of my granddaughters would come to visit, and every five minutes she would say she was hungry. It was confusing at first, but at last I realized the girl was not dying of starvation. I set definite meal times and snack times, and when she said, "Could I pppplllllleeeeeazzzze have a snack?" I would smile and say, "No." It was an attention-getting thing.

Whining is a contagious disease. You're going to have to fix your ears so that they don't hear whining. "Mommy doesn't hear you when you whine. Can you tell me in your regular voice?" And don't deviate from that even once. They'll test you, so you need to be very consistent. And you need to show them how non-whiny sounds, of course.

Get a lock if you need to.

I tell DD that if she raids the fridge without permission, she'll get in trouble (usually a time out or loss of treat later).

I tell DD that I don't understand whining and until she can speak in a normal voice, the answer is no. Come back later. If she's REALLY whiny, then I tell her that whiny people need to take a nap and she needs to go to her room. The other day she was out in 5 minutes.

Now, if DD is really hungry, she can have a healthy snack, but no chips, popcorn, ice cream, etc.

As with many things, you have to out stubborn the kid. If you give in once, you're back to square one.

It sounds like they need some activities to do that make them feel good.
Praise for drawing some pictures, praise for doing other things like doing 3 summersalts in a row. Put a sprinkler out in the yard and let them play and run through it.
They sound like they are eating out of boredom and that they are getting hooked on food because it's the only thing in their life that gives them that pleasure rush.
Bored kids can pick up many bad habits. Don't let food become their only pleasure.
Whining is something that is just a short lived phase and is a way of communication... if it works for them they will continue to do it.

I do everything Hazel recommends, plus ratchet it up a notch. I find persistent whining very difficult to ignore for long, so DD (almost 5) gets put in time-out in a corner, or sent to her room, or gets something taken away (certain toy, TV, etc.) if she continues to whine despite my warnings for her to stop.

A lot of times my kids want more of a variety. They will eat enough of dinner so they don't feel so hungry anymore, but not enough to fill their tummies. Then they ask if they've eaten enough to have some other food. Maybe if you provide more sides (fresh fruit and veggies), but serve tiny portions of everything. If they are truly hungry, they will eat healthy options. My policy is they can have as much fruit and veggies as they want! However, if they turn down healthy food and request junk, then hold out and do not give in. They can finish their dinner (in this case their mashed potatoes) or they get nothing at all.

As for the whining, I tell them I cannot understand them, so I can't help them. I tell them to ask again in a normal voice so I can help them. If the whining continues, I give them a warning that if they whine again, the answer is no. Then when it happens again, I tell them no because of the whining. Consistency is the key, otherwise they will continue to whine because they know you'll eventually give in. If they ask without whining, give praise! This is not an immediate fix and will take awhile before you see change. But stick to it and there will be change. Stay firm and calm, do not yell or speak with an exasperated tone. Express empathy when they don't get their way, but don't give in! You can do it!

If you stop giving in, they will stop whining as it will be ineffective.

The best solution to whining is to ignore it or stave off typical whining situations. In our house, I always leave a bowl on the table with fresh fruit or veggies. My kids know they can grab a handful of cucumber, red pepper, carrot sticks, sliced apple etc. whenever they feel the urge, so they don't need to raid the fridge. It's a great way to deal with the hunger pangs some growing kids feel even when we think it's impossible and it gets them the fresh foods they need.

In our house we have a no begging rule. Begging is like anything else,.you get a warning if you dont stop you get timeout, its usually over the tv in my house. We do breakfast lunch dinner and snacks on the same schedule everyday, so that helps. I agree with the other posters, offer them veggies or fruit, if they are really hungry they will eat it.

You Ladies are right... I am going to be more consistent..treat the fridge like anything other behavior. I don't want to feed to become a reward or a negative thing... I know they are not hungry when they are asking for food. A lot of times, they just finished a snack or a meal. They are (esp 5 yr old) picky.. They eat what they want. They are very partial to yogurts, hence why the fridge.. Juice, they know better... I give them just a itty bit on occasion during the day and they have had to have water. I know I/We have to be more consistent with 3 yr old specifically. 5 yr goes to fridge but gets out when I tell him.. 3 yr old; I take for granted that he just doesn't understand yet..

Thank you again for your suggestions.. I appreciate it.

My Nieces are horrible whinners. It's awful. The way i have dealt with it when they are with me, they're with me a lot. (i did run it by there mom first). I tell them 'Aunt M. doesn't speak whine'. They don't get what they're asking for until they use there big girl voice. It took a few stays, but my house is whine free. It took me saying' i will get you want you want but i just do not understand you when you whine'... a few pouts and stomps... but the big girl voice finally comes out. They love coming over and always want to stay, so i assume they don't see it as me being mean. They still whine at home some but mostly when they are tried.