Advice on Hair Pulling in a Toddler

I remember reading an article about grownups that do that, but it was at least 15 years ago & I don't remember where I read it. I remember it was a soothing thing but it became an addiction of sorts for some of these women. Has anything changed in her life lately? Maybe you could get her a lovey or a "bedtime only" baby doll that she could pet instead of pulling her hair...
I don't have any real advice, just a good luck for you. Look up hair pulling & soothing & see what you get.
Good luck!

I think what Thatwoman is trying to say is that your sweet little one is trying to self-soothe with the hair pulling and needs some other source of comfort or the source of anxiety removed. My mom pulled her eyelashes, my sister chewed the side of her finger, my daughter sucks her two middle fingers. I think the thing to do is find the source of anxiety - which could be a simple as boredom. With my daughter, Evie, she sucks her fingers when she's tired, doesn't feel good or is bored. Assessing the situation, I address it by having her take a nap (giving her a sippy cup to suck on instead of her fingers), soothing her discomforts when she's sick and/or occupying her mind with games and toys (like in the car) instead of her just sitting & sucking on those fingers.

For your situation - I would first peek in her room every few minutes to find out when she's doing this (before, during or after sleep). This bit of info would be key to addressing the problem.

If it's before she sleeps, maybe offering her something like a Glo-Worm that sings lullabies and lights up when the tummy is pressed would be a good alternative. This will calmly keep her little hands and mind occupied while the soft music soothes.

Maybe she's waking up from her naps earlier, is bored and pulls on her hair while waiting for mommy to come back. I would, again, check on her more frequently so she's not awake for long periods of time & alone. If she's big enough to climb in and out of her crib when set to the lowest level, maybe you should consider taking the front off her crib. This would give her the opportunity to get up when she wakes and come find you or at least play in her room until you come get her. Of course, then there's the training (takes about a week or so) of her staying in bed when it's sleep time (at nap or for the night) - but that's going to need to happen at some point anyway. If you want/need advice on this - I'll be happy to share my experiences with my little Evie who's almost 3.

I would also at least give your pediatrician a call to see if this could be a symptom of something deeper that us moms aren't aware of - just in case. Good luck.

If you have never caught her in the act, do you KNOW she is pulling it out? Unless you are sure she is doing it to herself you should avoid placing the blame on her. And get her checked for allopecia. I had a freind who has 2 boys with the condition and there are treatments you can use on it, but you have to catch it early. Good luck!

My daughter did this. I put socks over her hands until she stopped. She was only 9 months old though. Good Luck. I think this can get to be a real problem, hopefully you will find a solution soon.

Herein lies the problem with self-soothing: the things that children find to distract themselves from their anxiety, and to allay their own anxiety, are very likely to be problematic behaviours. The more anxious the child becomes, the worse the behaviour will be (which is why isolating a child who is performing the behaviours in isolation is not going to stop the behaviour.)

From head banging, frantic rocking, nail biting, hair pulling (even eyelash pulling) to hair twisting, thumbsucking and more, the problem begins and ends with their psychological need to be soothed by others.

Toddlers do not self-soothe well because they are not mentally equipped to do so. They need the care of adults. Even small babies know, deep down, that if something bad happens, some animal attacks, or the adults leave or even just stop feeding and caring for them, they will die and there is nothing they can do to protect themselves. They know they are fragile and nearly completely helpless.

Everything that provokes a child's self-soothing behaviour is inappropriate for them to handle alone, including loneliness, fear, hunger, pain, and grief.

If human children were supposed to be able to manage all by themselves, we'd lay them and leave them --not consider childhood to be 20 years long.

I agree with Anne T, this is a real disorder I have dealt with in my life... Trichotillomania. It is a self soothing type of thing, weird? yes, but true. I think the glove thing is a good place to start. I didn't start my hair pulling until I was a little bit older (I think Jr High) so lucky for me I did get any huge bald spot because I was concerned what I would look like. My mom also took me to get help before it got to bad. I'm not sure if Trichotillomania would start SO young, so definitely try other things first, but please don't write it off if it doesn't go away. Good Luck! Let me know if you have any questions!

This is a true disorder - Trichotillomania (trik-o-til-o-MAY-ne-uh). Please don't give her any more punishments, she can't help herself. I had a friend that had that from when she was a child. Even as older adults, she still struggles -- she's not ever been willing to get any help. It is treatable.

Here's a link to some information on the Mayo Clinic's website. http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/trichotillomania/DS00895

Good luck.

Hi Cyntia,
I have a friend whos daughter had the same issues, roughly around the same age. She only did it while sleeping. Their solution was to put gloves on her while she slept- like those soft stretchy gloves-that way she could not grip her hair to actually pull it out. There may be an underlying issue about why she is doing it in the first place- but this might atleast help. I do not think at that age telling her no will work especially since you do not catch her in the act. She may do it while she is sleeping or without realizing it. Hope that atleast gives you a place to start. As an encouragement, my friends daughter only did it for a short while and has never done it again.