Advice on Family Problem

Well I think you just have to take your dad's word for it and just file a police report and if you have contents insurance maybe an insurance report. I think if it were me and I knew my dad had this issue with sometimes associating with some shady characters I would get the locks changed on my house and not give him a key and I would not ask him to house sit again. I have some family that I love dearly that like your dad get mixed up with some shady people sometimes too. They would always offer to babysit my son bc they love him a lot and he loves them too. I would always come up with an excuse. My husband asked me why not and I told him that it wasn't because I didn't trust them, I know they adore my kids, but I don't trust them to be strong enough not to let some of their associates come over and I have no idea what some of them might do. So to avoid any hurt feelings, I just always came up with some excuse. I say if your dad needs to save face, let him and take precautions so that this situation doesn't happen again. Sorry, being vandalized is a terrible feeling, go ahead and have a good cry if you need to, it was a rotten thing that happened and it's ok to feel bad about it. Hang in there!

I don't know your family history, but to me, what is more more important? Your relationship with your father or some clothes and a computer? You never know when you will lose someone that you love. Let it go and give him the benefit of a doubt.

I know your upset and you have every right to be. I don't thing your father would take your things or allow the girl friend to take anything either. Who else knew you were taking the trip because if they knew what time your father was getting there then they may have come before that time. BUT most of all do you really want to ruin a relationship with your father over THINGS???? Things can be replaced your father can't!!!!

You'll probably never find out what happened, but your hunch is most likely correct. At least now you don't have to tell you dad he can't stay there anymore, since he already said he won't do it..Off the hook there. It really sucks but be glad in the future you don't have to worry now when you go out of town. Do you have renter's/condo or homeowners insurance so you can replace the missing items? Sucks if no.. Get an alarm system if affordable, or ask one of your neighbors/friends to keep an eye out and feed the dogs. Hopefully he'll have enough sense to ditch the "shady" hook up, before something worse happens...Steer clear, I would!!!

I know how you're feeling. I recently had my car broken into and you feel violated, someone you don't know was into your own personal stuff and takes what they want. Is it possible to get into your dad's house and check his closets? I don't know why he would take your stuff (if he did) or if his girl friend did it and he won't talk to her about it. Is it possible to have your sister get in there and look? It sucks to have to replace your clothes and especially your computer. The computer part would bother me the most with so much stored information on there that people can get. That's the scariest part of it.

I am so sorry this happened. I guess your dad will be telling the Police the same story since he was there for the weekend.They will need to get his side of the story.. Did they get finger prints?

Well lesson learned.. No more dad house sitting.. Yes, of course you till love him, but boy this was not a good choice on his part.

As my mother always says.. "No fool like an old Fool.".

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It sounds like he prob had that shady lady in your house and he just feels ashamed! Most men (sorry to generalize) wil deny deny deny, even if it means lying to his own daughter. Clothes and a laptop do not walk away on there own and like you said your dogs would never let a stranger in the house alone. I'd be pissed too, but what is more important to you? That he admits she was there? You already know the truth in your heart. It's unfortunate that the trust is broken, but dont let "her" win. Just don't let him house sit anymore. If I were you I'd see a counselor to learn how to deal with the trust issue and feeling so violated. I'm sorry, it's a horrible situation to be in. Good luck!

Well this is totally weird and if he's dealing with someone shady, then I too might think the worst. Did you post your departure on Facebook or someplace else on the net? It happens a lot that crooks watch what you're doing via the internet and then break into your place. If you left it unlocked between the time you left and your dad coming over, maybe someone you know or someone you don't know came in and stole your things. Does anyone else have a key to your place and knew you were leaving? A lot of times crimes like this happen by people you do know...they're just looking for opportunity.

I hope you find some answers. You're in a really tough spot.

You feel violated, that's natural. You are most likely correct that he allowed this to happen but is right worth your relationship with your father? Don't have him house sit again but don't bring up the situation again. He probably is embaressed and doesn't know how to get out of this, but you can be the bigger person and have learned where the limits in your relationship are.

I'm sorry this happened to you. :( Your family should be the people you trust the most, so when that trust is possibly violated, it feels even worse than if someone outside of your family did this to you.

This is a BIG problem - the possibilities are all pretty shady: either your father had someone over who took your stuff (with or without his knowledge), or a stranger came in without anyone knowing, or possibly, your father even took your stuff himself. In any case, your trust has been compromised, and it will take a lot to get it back.

You can still love your dad, but learn to keep boundaries to protect yourself, too. Don't let anyone walk all over you, even if it is a beloved family member.

If you have reason to be 100% sure that someone else was in the house, you can always use the "my neighbor saw someone other than you come out of my house" route... and see if he confesses. But if you are not completely sure, then just avoid asking your dad to house-sit from now on, and possibly seek some counseling for yourself to find out how you can rebuild some trust with your dad, if it is not too late. Best wishes.

I do think that your father did have someone else in the house or he won't keep on bringing this subject up.He'd use all these excuses and said things that normally every father should know not to say.He also seem to be too defensive and that was a red flag.I think that he didn't expect whomever that was there to do the stealing.Now he is caught in between and now it's just a bit of saving face.So he won't admit to it.I would suggest you to not bring up this issue with your dad any more and let it go.You can't win and besides you are not making this situation any better.Next time just have a video tape of your house or get a security system and take your dogs to a dog sitting service.It will give you a piece of mind and you won't have to lose your belonging and you won't have to go through this with your father again.
Vent all you want,you are more than welcome on this sight....:)

Does dad have a key to your house on his key ring or a spare at his house? Maybe the girlfriend stopped by before he did? Question girlfriend it sounds more like a girl did it cause the clothes were picked through

Did you point the cops in the direction of the "shady lady"? I would.

And kennel your dogs next time.

Sorry--that stinks. It seems like he's choosing her over you.

It sure sounds like what your gut is telling you is probably what happened; nothing else makes sense. Do you know anything about this "shady" woman that your dad sees? If so, tell the cops so that they can go question her. I was going to suggest stalking her if the cops don't do anything to see if she's wearing your clothes, but that may be a bit much =)

I'm sorry that this is putting a strain on the relationship with your father. Men can be so stubbord at times and won't admit when they did something wrong! I'm sorry I can't offer more...

Oh, and I would change the locks on your house!

Let the police do their investigation and let it go with Dad. You don't want to jeopardize your relationship with him over material things. You don't know if he had anything to do with it anyway. You said he has watched the house before and he is the only one you trust? If you don't feel comfortable with him watching the house then just don't have him watch the house again. Don't let this come between you. It is just not worth it.