Advice on Early Rising 14 Month Old and Tired Parents

Updated on February 02, 2009
M.R. asks from Saint Louis, MO
15 answers

Our son has been waking up at 4:30 to 5 am every morning for the past 3-4 months. He goes to daycare during the week and naps only in the afternoons for about 1-2.5 hours if we're lucky. He will not nap in the morning at daycare. However, when he is at home with us on the weekends, it's obvious that he is tired in the mornning and we have no trouble getting him to nap both in the morning and in the afternoon. Even so, he still wakes up at 4:30 - 5 am. Most of the time he is just wet and in a good mood. I thought that he might be hungry, but he eats well at dinner. Do you guys have any suggestions as to how to get him to sleep longer? I am jealous of the others on this list whose kids wake up at 7 am. What a dream that would be!

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A.L.

answers from St. Louis on

Is he going to bed earlier too? the time fell back 3-4 months ago, so it might be because of the time change. He still thinks it 5:30 or 6 (which is when my 20 month old gets up)
I would try making his bedtime a little later (5 min) each night and see if that affects when he wakes up. Also, spring forward is only a few weeks away. So it's possible, he'll automatically switch to 5:30 to 6 with the time change.

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T.P.

answers from St. Louis on

This is my first time writing on here. I am going through the same sort of situation with my 14 month old. We started feeding her a little, sometimes oatmeal, in the middle of the night. I want to refer to the book, What to Expect, The Toddler Years. It kind of follows the advice I've received from friends. It is under the Fifteen month section, pg 65-70. I've been given the advice not to feed them because it will become a habit and they should not be hungry. But if there's a big gap of eating before bedtime, we've been trying to feed her a little protein and carbs right before bed...the book gives some example foods. Our daughter for the most part sleeps from 7:30p.m to 7:30 a.m. I hope this helps...we are still working on it as well.
Trish P

C.B.

answers from Kansas City on

usually around your son's age is when they start needing only one nap per day, so i would go with that. my son also continued with two naps on the weekends for awhile, so don't sweat it on the weekends, just follow his cues. you didn't mention what time he goes to bed at night, but just for a marker, my son (who sleeps more than most two year olds i think) takes a 1-2 hour nap, is in bed at 8 every night, and up at 6 every morning. it works for us because of my work schedule. on the weekends he will wake up fairly early (6 or 6:30) but he'll be content to stay in his bed for half an hour or so, allowing me to wake up slowly (we have a baby monitor that we still use). normally we're up by 7 or 7:30 on the weekends. just how it works for us! if you're having to put him down too early, i'd suggest a quick trip somewhere in the evening, right before bedtime. even a trip to walmart can keep them stimulated enough to keep them up an extra hour or two, if that would help. good luck!

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L.S.

answers from Wichita on

Oh M.,

I can definitely feel for you. I believe anyone who's had babies can. Unfortunately, your "little sunshine" may be just that. Just because Dr's say our kids sleep an "X" number of hours... there's always an exception!!

My sister had an early riser. When he was a toddler, it wasn't uncommon for him to go to bed between 11-12 pm and wake around 5 am. He had a 1-2 hour nap in the afternoon, and that's it!! If he'd been their first child, he'd been an ONLY child! :) Good thing for her... he's a teenager now and sleeps A LOT!!

Some things to try-- have you tried him with NO naps??

Also, you said he naps in the am during the weekends... My thought is he needs those naps or he wouldn't be taking them. So, I'm thinking when he wakes up so early, put him back to bed... NO EXCEPTIONS!!! Insist he go back, don't back down!! Put your parental foot down and make him do it. It'll be hard and he'll probably cry, but keep in mind those kids who sleep until 7 am. Let that be your motivation. It may be a week of this or so-- but soon he'll understand what you expect of him.

You may even want to tell him while you're putting him in bed at night that you EXPECT him to sleep longer. Yes he's young, but it's surprising how much they do understand.

M.-- PM me. I've got questions and more ideas to help.

Thanks, and good luck!! ~ls

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M.E.

answers from St. Louis on

We have the same problem with our daughter if she is overtired (she's the same age). I would recommend putting him to bed really early for a few nights so he can make up his sleep deficit. Our daughter goes to sleep around 6 or 6;30 on daycare days and sleeps until 6 or 7 if she's really tired. It might seem outrageousely early, but it really works! The book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth has really helped us understand her sleep needs and enable us to get a little more sleep :) Good luck!

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C.M.

answers from Springfield on

Tell the daycare not to give him a nap in the afternoon, he'll be so tried after your regular routie that he won't wake up in the morning at 4. or when he wakes up change and try and put him in bed w/you!

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T.M.

answers from St. Louis on

First of all - I'm sorry. :) Do you go in and pick him up at 4 or 5am? If you do, I would stop doing that. Do not go into his room until the time that you want to get him up (i.e. 6:30am). If you are going in there then you are reinforcing this time because he gets to see you. Also, you didn't mention what time he goes to bed at night. It seems that 7pm is a good time for a child that age. My daughter is 15 months old and naps for 2-3 hours in the afternoon and goes to bed at 7pm and sleeps till at least 7am. I think a consistant schedule would help too. If he's not napping during the week in morn then you might not do it on the weekends (just a thought). Good luck.

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J.S.

answers from St. Louis on

I have 3 kids...my advice is cut down to one nap per day and gradually push his nap until it is 11, then 12 or 1pm. He will sleep longer in the morning then! Worked for me with 3 kids! Good luck! We all need our sleep!

S.L.

answers from Kansas City on

One of my 4 girls (my last) sleeps til 10am as often as she can get away with it and she's 8. She's always done this. My other 3 girls were all happy and bubbly at 5:30 am. All I can say is that you need to go to bed earlier. What difference does it make if you get to be awake earlier if you go to bed earlier instead of later and later?

So many parents struggle to get that alone time. Yeah, I understand! I run a busy daycare, 7 days per week, 24/7. Take tonight as a typical example. I have one 2 year old that is occupying himself. I have an infant sleeping that will get up in a little while and think we need to hold and play with him until midnight. We will some and we won't some. When we don't, he'll cry and be stubborn enough to only play by himself for a little while. After he goes home, I'll finally get to sleep. But a few hours later it will be time to get up. I have to choose between sleeping as late as possible...which for me is 6am. Or, I can stay up when I let kids in around 4-5am and I can put them back to bed and enjoy some quiet me time. I choose in either direction depending on how exhausted I am :)

This is just the life of a parent. I've read a lot of tips and tricks and sometimes parents find what works for awhile. But a few months later they are on to another phase. Being a parent means being flexible. And trust me, it NEVER stops! My 3rd daughter is moving home this weekend and will be having our first grandchild in August. I'll be waking up to that baby even if she is always the one to care for him overnight. I can't wait!

You really do learn to live on 4-6 hours sleep about 60% of the time and 6-7 hours sleep the other 40%.

Suzi

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J.S.

answers from Memphis on

I feel your pain! We have 3 boys and they all wake up early--6:00 is sleeping in in our house. Now that they are older, they know to play in their room until 6:30 (Mommy is not a happy Mommy if someone comes in before that:)). Your little guy is so young, but maybe you could put some books/toys in his bed so that when he wakes up, he can just play with them for a bit?? I remember many mornings half asleep on the couch at 5:00 with toddlers running around. It's a challenge, but the good news is that my kids go to bed by 8:00 and I can collapse into bed by 9:30:)) By the way...we tried everything playing around with nap times and bedtimes, but nothing ever worked. They just wake up early. After the 3rd one, we realized that's just the way it was. By then, we had accepted the fact that our day started and finished earlier than others. Hang in there!

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A.B.

answers from Kansas City on

You need to follow the same routine at home and daycare. He is too old to have two naps if he is waking so early in the morning. Start by not getting him up at 4-5am. If he is happy, why are you even in his room? Leave him in there. If he cries, etc., go check on him, but leave him in there. Get him up no earlier than 6am (or whenever you get him up to take him to daycare). Then do your best to keep him up until at least 11am. He may take short naps at first, but a 2-2.5 hour nap is what you are shooting for. Then he needs to go to bed 4-5 hours after he wakes from that nap, but no earlier than 6pm. In general, are you putting him to bed too late? I bet he needs to be in bed by 630-7p since he probably gets up early to go to daycare. If he takes a short nap and is desperately tired, take a drive around 4p so he can sleep, but only let him nap about 20 minutes. That way he can last until 6-630. After sticking to this for a week or two, he will start sleeping in. To be honest, though, it is hard for kids when they go to daycare because 1) daycare is overstimulating and they don't sleep even when they are tired, 2) parents get them up too early to go to daycare, and 3) parents keep them up late because they want to see them. Please do your child the favor of keeping him on a regular, healthy sleep schedule. You will be happier, too!

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L.B.

answers from Wichita on

Hi M.
Well, my youngest son was the exact same way. In fact, both of my boys were always early risers. Here it is Sat a.m. and my youngest(now 9) was up at 630 am. My oldest now 11 1/2 does like to sleep until around 730 or 8...that's really sleeping in for our household! There wasn't anything I could do nor did I really try to change, keeping him up later didn't work for us. I have always wondered how others get their kids to sleep like logs till 9 am....BUT on the flip side...or Up side! My boys don't have trouble getting up and around for school...most of the time. That's a positive. Makes our morning go much smoother. Hang in there...Don't feel guilty for sitting down and catching a few ZZZzzz's during his morning nap. You will be glad you did!

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T.J.

answers from St. Louis on

M.,
Congrats to you and your family.
My heart goes out to you. I am a mother of two and I am not a morning person. My youngest is an early riser and always has been since he came home. One of the things I did was to talk to the day care provider and ask them to help me. We all worked together to get him to at least lay down at his designated AM Nap time. I asked them to keep him away from any carbohydrates (crackers, toast, etc.) and juice because they have natural sugar. At first he fought the AM Nap. Yet, eventually he gave in.
We also shortened his PM Nap time. He was not at all happy about this.
The good news is he sleeps till 7am - 7:30am and we all got used to his routine. It took us a good month to get him into his routine. It was worth it.
Also, One of the hardest things for me to do was ask for help. Ask your family and friends for help. You and your spouse can take turns letting the other get a quick nap when time permits. Rest is the key to staying patient and calm.
Good Luck and best wishes to your family.

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S.H.

answers from Kansas City on

Hi, M.! With my first two kids (my third isn't sleeping through the night yet), I had to train them to sleep (or at least stay in their beds) until I was ready for them to get up. I decided 7:30 was the earliest I wanted them up, so that's when I would get them. It didn't take long for them to figure it out. My second is the one who tends to be an earlier riser, so he would sometimes just play in his crib until I got him - he had an Ocean Wonders Aquarium on his crib that we would hear him playing with. They both turned into great sleepers.

Another idea... A friend ended up setting an alarm clock for her two-year-old daughter and told her it wasn't time to get up until the alarm went off. I'm not sure if it's too early for your son to understand this, but it's worked wonders for my friend!

Good luck!
S.

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D.H.

answers from Wichita on

I would ask how early do you put your son to bed, are you trying to get him in bed early, or is he falling asleep early after his activities all day at day care. Will he not go back down after you change him or feed him a bottle. Most babies do wake early and get a change and feeding and go back down for an hour or two. If none of these work, I would consider just giving him a quiet play time instead of a naptime in the afternoon. Early to rise is not that unusual around a year old. If you can hang in there, it should self adjust in a couple of months...good luck!!

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