Hi J.. I to am dealing with a child with bipolar. My daughter was diagnosed in January and is 12 years old. She started to really display symtoms in the 2nd grade and was diagnosed as ADHD at that time. As she's gotten older, her problems got worse and we were eventually referred to a psychologist for testing. She takes several medications to deal with the ADHD and bipolar. Since finally getting her medications stabilized she is better, unless she doesn't take them (when I forget to give them to her). From what I understand there are different symptoms and she just happens to have the mood disorder and will react when provoked. She was kicked out of private school in January because she had an altercation with 2 different boys. She's now in another private school (my husband and I, along with her psychiatrist did not think she would do well in the public school setting) and is doing pretty good. She still has her days, but overall she is much better. I currently take Lexapro, which makes me more at ease and not so keyed up or anxious feeling. As you stated, it is inherited and a lot of people are never diagnosed because the symptoms never prevail.
I try to deal with it by talking to people at work (really close friends), through my faith in GOD and talking with her psychiatrist when we go. We were seeing a counselor, but it got to the point that that really was not helping.
Feel free to email me, ____@____.com, anytime when you want to someone to talk to.