Advice Needed for Sudden Fears in 6 Year Old ...

Updated on July 30, 2008
S.H. asks from Bowling Green, KY
10 answers

I have a 6 year old daughter who has always been somewhat dramatic ... but who has recently developed a fear of sleeping upstairs and even downstairs now on the couch b/c she says kidnappers are going to get her. She has started double checking the doors to be sure they are locked and I've tried to reassure her that while it is a real thing, that it was VERY unlikely that someone could get into the 2nd story front window in her room or any window/door in thehouse w/o me, the dog, or my husband hearing. I can't tell if this is a real fear or if she's just going through some phase of wanting to be close to us all the time. My husband just returned home from working out of state for the last 6 months and i'm wondering if it's some insecurity or something?

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K.T.

answers from Hickory on

I have a five year old son who is going through this right now. My husband is in the Navy and is gone a lot. So I thought that was the reason for his fears at night...but it's the exact same...a fear of being kidnapped and ask us a million times if the doors are all locked.

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V.W.

answers from Wheeling on

S., Reasure her that you are there. Hold her for awhile and tell her That you love her.
She might be seeing stuff on TV or told about someone breaking in.
Show her you lock the doors and windows.
Give her allot of love.
I too have these problems. I do take meds. And I am 56 years of age. I pray and ask for protection.
Then I go to sleep.
You have a good day

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S.D.

answers from Nashville on

"Kidnappers are going to get her." I would start by asking her why she thinks this is going to happen. Has she had someone act strange toward her lately or is this just her wild imagination? Try to get her to focus on what is real and what is imagined. What can she do to feel safer in her own home? Ask her those kinds of questions and see what is going on in her little head.

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J.P.

answers from Memphis on

Has she seen something on TV that is related to that sort of issue? Has she maybe seen a stranger lurking around the nieghborhood?

The best thing is to figure those things out and then keep re-assuring her that things are ok...come up with a special prayer that you say to her everynite at bedtime that involves the safety of her etc...

Jen

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V.C.

answers from Louisville on

S.

Something you didn't mention and I was wondering was, did your DD stay in your room with you when your DH was away?
That might be the issue.

Although I will share that my DD a few months ago in the spring had some issues with noises simple as they may be it frightened her and she would get up several times every night, she too thought someone might come in and get her...We had night lights right beside her bed.
We too have a dog who has a keen sense of hearing. We were NOT getting any sleep!

What we did do and it was successful was print off a calendar
http://www.dltk-cards.com/calendar/

They have favorite kids characters,animals, holiday etc...

So we print off a calendar and got small "SMILEY" stickers (these represented "being happy" as mommy and daddy would give her a sticker on her calendar for each night she stayed in her bed, as we were "happy" that everyone got their much needed sleep. :)

The deal was that if she stayed in her bed and got 5 stickers out of 7 (days) she earned $2 that week to spend at the Dollar store or trade it in for Disney Dollars.

I will tell you it was the FIRST thing we did in the morning when she got up as she was proud of herself and come the end of the week she got her $2 and then could decide what she wanted to do with it.

It only took us about 2-3 wks and that was it... problem solved and she never mentioned it again.

Remember S., sometimes it is trial and error to see what works, just don't give up.

Remember too to DO WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.

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C.S.

answers from Chattanooga on

She has possibly saw something on t.v. or heard her friends telling scary stories or maybe when everything is quite at night, heard noises that scares her, of course, she is probably listening for something, not sure, please go to ask.com
type in scared of the dark or how to keep a child from being scared, kids that are scared at night or something to that nature. Maybe you can think of a better way to phrase it once you get there, hope you find lots of helpful tips S. and have night lights, hugs!

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K.D.

answers from Raleigh on

Maybe a friend has told her something that frightened her or she saw something on TV.

My kids went through various fears. I was lucky enough to go to a workshop where they worked with them some and also taught me a few techniques. But it wasn't a fear of kidnapping, so I don't think it would work in your case.

I also had to take my kids for some visits with a therapist to talk their issues out & get over certain anxieties. It really helped my daughter, in particular. The therapist taught her coping skills in two months of weekly visits and she was so much happier. It has been three years and now she has asked to talk to him again as she is developing new anxieties. She is somewhat OCD.

Good luck and I hope it improves.

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A.M.

answers from Nashville on

S.--I agree with the other response, it sounds like she has recently heard or seen something concerning kidnapping that scared her. I would let her express her fears and then ask her what she thinks would help someone from comming in and taking her. Try using her ideas and see how it goes....that way she will feel like she has some control over the situation. There are some door alarms that you could buy that will chime everytime the door is opened (you can switch them off durring the day) that may reassure her---you could put them on the windows also. You will still have to lay down the bounderies for her, like she has to sleep in her bed....but she will have the "power" or control over her sense of security.
Hope things work out for you.
peace

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A.H.

answers from Wilmington on

I have a four year old son. When he started sleeping in a big boy bed, he expressed some fears as well. I am a person of faith, so I pray over my son nightly. I also have him repeat the prayers I pray over him as well. I ask the Lord to protect him as he sleeps. I ask God to send his angels to camp around his bed to comfort him and give him a good nights rest. I also tell fear to go in the name of Jesus. God is perfect love, therefore it casts out all fear. My son asks me nightly to come pray over him because he knows the power of prayer. He never complains of fear anymore. He is "rest assured" that he is protected and comforted. Are you a person of faith? If you don't feel comfortable praying or even know where to begin, speak that out to God. He loves you and your family and he's aware of all your needs and desires.

Peace and blessings go out to you and your family.

A.

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T.C.

answers from Nashville on

We are a military family and I know what a return of Daddy brings. Your daughter is showing signs that she wants her daddy. Let her spend a lot of time with him. Have him take her on a Daddy Date once a week so she can get "use" to him again.

Although you don't want to play into her fear. She may of seen or heard something on Tv or the radio, You can try setting up a "kiddy alarm" by her door and window and show her that if her door opens or the window opens a bell will alert Mommy and Daddy.

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