Advice from Other SAHM Moms!

Staying home is the best!! I've stayed at home for a year before my son was born, and I've always felt busy. There are a lot of things to do: playgroups, zoo, Gymboree classes, Soccer Tots, Pump It Up, Kidz Muze, WinKids,... You just have go out and find it, but you'll be busy!!

Congrats on the new baby!
My daughter was in in-home care (with other kids) from the time she was 4 months old and then daycare when she was around 18 months. I quit work when our second was about 4 months old, so she was a little over 2. She LOVED her daycare. She talked about her friends and her teacher, she learned a lot and had a good time there. Like you, I was worried about bringing her home full time. However, she never seemed to miss it. One day about 3 or 4 weeks after I'd been home full time she asked if she was going to school and I said she wouldn't, and that Mommy was going to stay home with her and her brother. She said "ok" and kept playing.
At the time, we couldn't afford a mother's day out program for her, but it turned out that she didn't really need it.
For that year when my daughter was 2 and my son was a newborn, outings and playdates were more for me than anyone! The social aspect of playdates and having friends wasn't really important to her until she turned 3, at which time we enrolled her in a dance class once a week and a children's bible study that also meets once a week. Those 2 days have been plenty of social stimulation for her.
In fact, play dates when she was 2 were really hard to get to. We'd leave the house always running late with her kicking and screaming because she was happy playing at home and didn't want to go anywhere. However, at 3, she looks forward to them, gets herself ready and is waiting by the door when it's time to go. I think that's just testament to all that child development stuff you read about in the magazines about parallel play, etc. They say kids aren't even capable of real social relationships until sometime after their 3rd birthday. I believe it!
The part about daycare that is good for him is the routine. They don't just have 8 hours of free play! However, you can come up with your own routine at home that will serve the same purpose for him. And you'll want to get out of the house as part of that routine, and possibly have a few playdates.
Outings and activities for the first year after my son was born were something like this:
We got together once every other week with some other moms who had kids the same age. Note: The key to happy playdates with 2 yr olds is to keep them short. An hour of free play time is PLENTY for a group of 2 yr olds. You can break up the hour with a snack.
I also got the story time schedule at our local library. We had a lot of fun there! Even the baby enjoyed it (especially when he could sit up and clap along with the songs). We went at least once a week, sometimes twice. Our library also has a lego table and train table, puzzles, and a little area where we could just sit and read books together.
The play areas at the malls are also fun, especially when it's to hot or cold to play outside.

I don't think you have anything to worry about as far as his social development. If you want to create some sort of routine and do something educational with him for part of the day, check out www.letteroftheweek.com and www.starfall.com. We aren't real regimented with the letter of the week, but if we're doing letter G, for example, I'll print out a few coloring pages, point out the letter G in books that we read, buy Grapes for the week's snack, watch Baby Galileo at video time, and use Glitter and Glue for some sort of Green craft. I sat with her for Starfall at first, but now she can use the computer by herself.
As far as a daily routine, I just make sure that meals, snacks, naps/rest times, reading books and video/TV time are at the same times every day. We fit outings, computer time, occasional crafts, free play and house work in around them on different days.
Hope all this helps!

People always say my daughters will miss out not being with other kids, but the way I see it is that we were blessed being able to have one of us stay home with the girls. They have the rest of there lives to be social with other people. My girls are 5 and 1 and they love it. They at least grow up by what we teach them and not others and they say they learn more from birth to 3 years of age. We are really blessed!

You just need to focus on making sure you have other mom friends with kids around the same age for play groups, I got lucky and my best girlfriend had her little girl just before we had our little boy. I am also activly seeking out other moms in my area to keep US not just my son but me too socialized.

Hi S.!

The best advice I can give you is to join a MOMS CLUB group! It is fantastic and they are the greatest suppport for SAHM!!! I belong to one and it is awesome. Check them out at www.momsclub.org and then click on the door and find your local chapter! I have been a member for 2 years and love it!!

Good Luck!

Gladys

I would definitely advise putting the 2 year old in a Mother's Day out program. My church has one (for example) that is Tues/Thurs from 9-2 and costs $120/mo. For me, it seems that my older one has been able to have just enough socialization along with our other church activities. But I still get to be a stay at home mom and be with them---that's important. If you can financially do it--I highly recommend it.

Hi S.,

These few short years while your kiddos are little go by so fast, so absorb every minute of it!! (that fact hit me hard when my oldest started kindergarten this fall!)

I left my job when my first child was born and have never regretted it. When she was 5 months old, I joined a local MOMS Club chapter and became involved in their activities. We usually did 2 activities a week with other moms/kids...playgroup and then an outing of some sort. Now, almost 6 years later, I'm still involved with that same group with my second child. I think it's important to have your kids around other kids, but even more important for you as a SAHM to have a support network of other SAHM's.

When my daughter turned 5, I put her in pre-school 1 day a week, and continued our MOMS Club stuff too. When she started kindergarten this fall, she cried every morning for the first 2 weeks (Who wouldn't be upset about your life changing and being away from your mom/sibling from 8am to 2:45 every day??) She's doing wonderful in school and really loves it.

Anyway, I guess my point is that just because you are a SAHM does not mean that you have to keep your kids isolated. Find a playgroup, MOMS Club chapter, MOPS chapter, Mothers & More chapter....something to provide you and your kids with a social group. I couldn't imaging staying at home with little ones and not having that! www.momsclub.org

BTW, my husband was VERY NERVOUS when I became a SAHM. Now, after 6 yrs, we know that it has been the best thing for our kids and family.

Good luck!
:-) H.

S.,
I started staying home full time when my oldest was 18 months. He is now 10, I also have a 6, 4 and 2 y/o!
Money has always been an issue for us so a full time Mom's day out program has not been an option. I have found a great drop in one in Lake Highlands. Otherwise we have friends from church, the older kiddos schools, the library... we do play dates at the park or the mall or Mc Donalds. Places like that.
Our church does a Wednesday evening program called AWANAS that begins at 3 y/o, so my kiddos go to that for an experience with sitting still, story times, lessons and group play.
Garland Parks and Rec department has awesome, inexpensive classes for 18 months and up.
This time is going to go so very fast.... ENJOY!!!

D.

You won't regret it. I am so glad I decided to stay home. A Mother's Day Out Program is great because it is very part time daycare which gives you just enough time for yourself, as well as socialization away from you for the kids. I also highly recommend a Mom's Group. There are several on www.meetup.com I am in the Collin County 2005/2006 group and I LOVE it. There is always something going on. Then of course there are classes at The Little Gym, My Gym, Gymboree, Soccer Tots, etc. Just find what works best for you.