Advice for Staying Dry Through Out the Night

I take my daughter to the bathroom before I go to bed and she has not had any accidents. She does not even remember going in the morning.

Hello B.,

My advice is old-fashioned and very controversial, but here goes.

I did not use pull-ups or overnight diapers with my kids AT ALL!

I consider them a scam from the diaper companies to prolong your children's dependence on diapers so that you will buy them for YEARS longer than actually needed.

Back in the day of cloth diapers, children FELT uncomfortable with urine and feces touching their bodies, and learned how to ask to use the toilet. These days, diapers draw the moisture away from the body so that the children never feel uncomfortable, so they don't have any incentive to learn to control themselves.

When it was time to potty train, here was my strategy, short and sweet. I waited until they said they were interested in learning to use the bathroom. For my son, it was around age 2. So, I took him to Walmart, we picked out "big boy pants" and I put away the diapers. Period. I reminded him to use the bathroom about every hour or so, and of course, there were accidents, but very few. I put a plastic mattress down over his matress, but I don't remember very many nighttime accidents. If there were, he simply helped me change the sheets and he changed his clothes and he went back to bed.

For next child, she NEVER indicated that she was interested, so right after her 3rd birthday, I took her to Walmart and we picked out "big girl panties" and we put away her diapers. I simply explained to her that she was too big to wear diapers anymore. I put her in the panties, and I don't even remember one accident.

Then, I know you won't believe this, but its true. My youngest told me that she didn't want to wear diapers anymore when she was 18 MONTHS OLD!!! I said, "ok" and I took her to Walmart and we picked out the panties and we put them on, and that was that. Only a few accidents later, and I was done with diapers forever.

After we made the decision, we never went back. Not for trips, not for visits to other people's houses, not for bedtime, not for anything. If we had an accident, the child helped clean it up (or helped clean themselves off) and even helped carry the soiled things to the laundry room. I never made a big deal out of it, just said that "Accidents happen sometimes" and calmly cleaned it up. We took precautions, packed extra clothing and stuff, but it really wasn't the big drama that people make it out to be. And it didn't take months, it took DAYS! And I mean it, DAYS!

I was the very same about things like weaning and taking their pacifiers or bottles away. When we were done, we were done. A few days or nights of adjustment was all it takes, and with a lot of patience and consistency, you can do a lot.

I sooooo agree with Lori.
Potty training isn't an easy thing, With anything new, kids are going to make mistakes and have accidents.
It is going to be an inconvenience to you to have to monitor his evening liquid intake, to take him potty at some point after he has fallen asleep ( i personally would do it right before you go to bed and i bet you anything he doesn't even wake up totally, Little tip--2 piece jammies are somewhat easier, especially for girls.) And if he does have accidents it will be a pain to change the sheets, But that is just part of Parenting. If you are consistent, i'm sure he will get it.
Good wishes to both of you!

Don't have any advice for advancing the potty training, but you might want to invest in some cloth training pants or even cloth diapers (like pre-fitted with a cover or all-in-one) if he wets heavy at night. In the long run, it's a lot cheaper than buying pull-ups.

Something like this may work for you:
http://www.greenmountaindiapers.com/other.htm#trainingpant

Hi B.!

My daughter will be 5 at the end of February. It's been about 6 months now that she stays completely dry throughout the night. At first when she was just 4 and potty trained during the day, we tried to put her to bed without her pullup, and she would be dry for a few nights and then have an accident. It kept happening like that. We really started to monitor her drinking and then we got into the routine of making her use the potty right before bed. Before we knew it, it kind of just "happened" that she didn't have accidents anymore, and she even gets up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom if need be. She's completely dry now at night. I think the doctor is right in this case--I think their bladders and their understanding and mindset have to mature and then it just takes over and happens. I know those pullups are expensive though! Good luck!

I agree that you just have to wait until your son's body is ready. Unlike daytime training, most of wetting at night is really just physical and not any kind of power struggle and all kids do it at different rates. My oldest was daytime trained at 3, but had to use pull ups at night for maybe another year. My middle one was trained around the same age, but is just now dry most nights and she's almost 6. My youngest isn't even 3 yet and is 90% trained day and night. She even wakes to pee at night (and trust me, there are nights I wish she'd just use the diaper!).

Honestly, as frustrating as the cost of the overnights is, I'd wait until your son wakes dry at least 4-5 nights a week. Some people have success with waking their child to use the potty before they go to bed (maybe around 11 or 12), but for us this just caused too much sleep disturbance and resulted in daytime crankiness too. Now that my middle daughter is waking dry most nights we are trying panties (except when she's super tired or sick), and she's doing great. One thing I have done is invested in a quilted pad that will hold about 6 cups of liquid. I got it at One Step Ahead and it goes right on top of the regular sheets. That way if we do have an accident, I can just change her PJs and pull off the cover (and maybe the blanket) and get her back in bed without having to change the whole bed.

Best of luck whatever you decide.

I had two brothers who both had this problem - I'm not sure if they just slept very deeply, or if it just took them longer to learn to hold it all night, but what we had to do was wake them up in the middle of the night for a bathroom break. We did this until about the third grade or so - give it a try, it's simple, and your som seems willing. Good Luck.

Hi

this would only work if he goes to sleep easily...at about 11 PM each night (when we went to bed) we would carry my son to the potty and have him go (Standing up) and put him right back to bed...he really never woke up 100%. We too struggled with getting through the night.... He made it through the night at 4 1/2 yrs old. Also no liquids after 6 PM.

Good luck

I agree that it is totally normal for kids to still be wetting at night at this age-- in fact, it is still considered normal at 6 for girls and 7 for boys. Only you know how upset your son is by this, but I would think that it would be worth putting him in cloth training pants at night. It isn't any more trouble to wash out cloth training pants than regular underwear, and think of the money (and landfill space!) you'll save if this goes on for years. Green Mountain Diapers is a great source for cloth diaps/pants. Good luck!

My almost 6 year old still wears pull-ups to bed. He just doesn't stay dry. I have friends whose 8 year olds are just starting to wear underpants to bed. All children develop differently and if they are heavy sleepers, night training will become a real mess until they are ready. I know the cost of diapers is terrible (I have 2 in diapers all day and the additional one in nighttime pull ups), but I'd personally rather that then having to clean up my son's bed every day (or even 2x a week) and having him feel frustrated because he's unsuccessful...or not tell me he wet and sleeping in nasty sheets until weekly wash time.
Of course, with all parenting, the choice is yours, but my opinion is don't worry about what Johnny and Tommy are doing, just back out of the conversation or say yours just isn't ready...you're likely not the only one of the school moms still buying "diapers".

this if very typical for his age, you shouldn't be concerned. What typically happens is that the childs bladder growth does not keep up with the childs body's growth. This make take yrs or it may not. The magic number is age 12. While most children do outgrow this before then some do not. I was one of those unlucky but it was only an occassional thing once I got older. The other thing to take into consideration is if you have bunkbeds and if he sleeps on top. My kids have more issues when sleeping on top they hate to get down in the middle of the night to go. hth

Hi,
I don't think there is much you can do to make him increase his control but if you want to stop buying the pullups and he is not soaking every morning you can try carrying him to the potty right before you go to bed and that might be enough to get him to be dry in the AM.

Your doctor is right and I would listen to him instead of comparing him to other kids.We tried several times with my daughter and she was just about 4 when her body was ready.Kids have no control over how fast their muscles develop.

Hi B.,

You've gotten some great advice already. I just wanted to add a few things I haven't seen mentioned. I have experience with bedwetting in older children, and I want to repeat that kids bodies grow at different rates. Doctors don't really consider it a problem until the child is a bit older than your son - its been a while but I think its 5 or 7 years old.

Anyway bedwetting runs in families and is more common in boys than girls so you might check with your son's grandmothers about this. Some kids in my family wet the bed well into elementary school and possibly middle school...even without Pull-ups and Goodnights. There are things that work now for these kids, so don't panic when you read this. My son conquered this problem in the summer between 1st and 2nd grade...if it makes it that far check back - there are things that can be done!

In the meantime I wanted to say I was encouraged to read that after the third night of no Pull-Ups your son almost stayed dry. When you are working with an older child one of the first things you do is take them out of the Overnight Diapers or Goodnights or what ever so they can feel that they are wet. Dryness usually comes in stages for these guys - the wet spots get smaller before they stop happening. If your son was able to wake up while he was going that is a very, very good sign. My guy would go 2x during the night, every night, soaking absolutely everything, and not wake up until he was uncomfortable from being wet or cold! This continued even after he decided he hated it and he really wanted it to stop. I remember wetting in 6th grade - I sure didn't want to! This can be really difficult emotionally for a child so I would really recommend that you proceed gently now - if his body isn't ready, it isn't ready.

I've read that the normal pattern for a child outgrowing the problem is to have more and more dry nights over time - not to just stop wetting completely. This is what I have observed with my younger child. If I were you I think I might give him a few more nights to see what he can accomplish. If you see a pattern of an increasing dry nights then if you can handle the increased laundry keep it up. Otherwise I would wait a while before trying again. Patience is the key here.

Restricting evening liquids and making sure they are getting enough liquid earlier in the day are great suggestions too. Also I've read that taking the child to the bathroom before you go to bed won't help them hear their own body's signal, but it might keep the sheets dry a few more nights.

Good-luck,
K. L.

i bought my son some rubber panties. they wear them over the underwear. He hated wearing them so he learned fast to wake up in the middle of the night. he had some occasional accidents but not often. you wash them and use them again to save money on pull ups. I got them at babies r us.

Happy Heiny's makes washable cloth trainers to help with this transition without all the chemicals and repeat purchasing.
And the child feels the discomfort and can through learned response progress to change in routine.

just an idea.