L.B.
i was told once, that four can be as good as twos for tantrums, but my son at home only threw one and it happened when I was 7 months pregnant and he was very fakey about it. He threw himself down on the floor and kicked and cried (fakey cry) and I whipped around and told him he better get off that floor and knock it off, or I would grab him by the neck and drop kick him into his room. I have never seen him move so quickly to his room, where he stayed for about an hour or more. Then he poked his head out and asked if it was safe to come out. I felt kind of bad, but I was tired and cranky with that pregnancy lol. He never tried that for me again, but occasionally the babysitter would complain about it (she had other 4 yr olds doing the same things). Its not a very creative idea, but it worked great for me! lol However it is probably better to start with talking to her about things, you would be surprised how much they can relate with you on this level. A sticker chart for chores will help with cleaning up her room and other things, plus having some other simiple chores really boost self esteem. And of course ignoring the bad behavior and praising the good really does help. I am never against a swat on the butt if they are really really out of control. Be consistant and patient, and things will smooth out. My son is now 8 and quite a great kid. Good Luck!