Advice And/or Comments Please.

I'm a homeschooling parent. I belong to a co-op where my children get to share classes and field trips with other homeschooled children their age and grade. While the parents work together to plan the year's classes and activities, funds are used to pay for field trips, school related curriculum, and to pay for the private teachers/tutors who offer workshops on various school related topics.

Since parents are also the kids' primary educator, it's pretty standard for parents to participate in the classes and field trips along with their kids. There are few situations where the kids get dropped off on their own. This is mostly because the parents are the primary teacher and it would make sense for them to be in on the activities with the kids, but also because most homeschooling families educate their children together, though they may be at various skill levels. What's even more unusual is for parents to offer to educate other people's kids. Unless they are a teacher, or specialized in some area of study, most of the homeschooling families in our group stick to using resources such as programs through the local museums, universities, zoo, etc.

So about a month ago, when a mom from my church who also homeschools, but belongs to a different co-op asked if we wanted to get together for a "study" day I was a little surprised. I wasn't quite sure how she found out we homeschooled, but just assumed someone from our church must have told her. Since we're well into the school year, we're using totally different curriculum, and our kids are a grade apart in math, reading etc. though they are the same age, I thought she was really just asking if we wanted to plan a more social get together...not really a shared study day. So I agreed thinking it might be fun to hang out with another family from a different group.

I quickly learned she and her family moved here from another state, that she wasn't sure she liked homeschooling because she felt she was having trouble teaching the oldest math, and she was feeling overhwhelmed managing a toddler to boot.

I offered her some suggestions and resources. I had brought some math games just because she said "study day", and it was the only thing I could think the kids could do together considering where they were all at with school. And by the end of the playdate she left me alone with her older kids while she went off with the toddler to another room. It was awkward. I finally announced I had to go, and I left with my kids.

A few weeks later, she had a party for her oldest. When I got there, she was put off that I had planned to stay with her and the kids invited to the party. I live 40 miles away from her house. I barely knew her. I wasn't going anywhere. So I stayed. No other parents were there. After a sugar loaded lunch all 6 of the 6-7 year-old boys were bouncing off the walls. Things went downhill from there. If I weren't there, who knows what would have happened?

First, she planned an activitity at a school 5 blocks from her house. She lives on a dangerously busy street in the heart of the city. To my horror, the boys wildly ran down the busy, high-traffic streets and we were barely able to control them. What's worse is her toddler came along and because the boys were running, he ran too but fell in a mud puddle in the street. He was road burned, soaked and bloody, and because he was hysterical, she was too distracted to help me manage the boys were running in the street as big delivery trucks and cars whizzed by. I don't know how I did it, but I managed to corral the crowd, and get everyone home before something terrible happened. When we walking back, she thought her toddler went missing, and didn't realize I was holding his hand the whole time.

Back at the house for the remainder of the party, she had lit candles at child level and my son was almost burned! We left early. As I was leaving the other parents looked horrified when they realized she had no help but me. Apparently she told the others a friend was coming to help. The friend never came.

Two days later, she and her children were scheduled to come to my house. Unfortunately, this was planned before the horrible party at her house. I thought she was going to stay. She took off with the toddler, expecting me to have "math and science" for her kids. Remember, we don't use the same curriculum, let alone are our kids in the same grade. So I ended up having a very weak math class of flash cards and math games, and we looked at slides our microscope. I concluded she just wanted free babysitting, but didn't know how to ask. She announced she is moving in the next few months, and her son said that she was out shopping that day for stuff at the hardware store to fix up the house.

I didn't commit to any future get togethers. The kids are nice and all, but I think the situation was awkward. I guess because she's not being clear or upfront with me about her "goals". Yet, now she has invited to her house again in a week, and this time wants me to leave my oldest son at her house, while I supposedly will take her toddler along with mine back to my house 40 miles away, then come back with them several hours later...only to drive back home with my son. I don't know what she expects to teach my kids...or why she has the weird desire to have no parents around while she has their kids with her. She clearly can't handle them. I can't figure out her motivation. I figure since she and her family are moving out East in a few months, why would she pursue get togethers. I guess I'm creeped, and wondering what others think about this lady? By the way...did I say her husband's weird? He acts like Lurch from the Adams family...and their house is creepy (Granted I'm a neat freak, I was really shocked at the mess in the house and the disrepair). The day of the birthday party, he mysteriously showed up in the middle of the party, and disappeared somewhere in the house, though he supposedly has a full-time job.