Advice About Weaning

Have you considered not weaning her? Nursing when you get home might help with the crankiness. Perhaps nursing when you get home, before bed, and in the morning before you leave for work. Those three feedings would give her health and emotional benefits.

Blessings,
~A. <><

Here's what Dr. Sears recommends:

HOW TO WEAN
The key to healthy weaning is doing it gradually. Remember, you are helping your child into a new stage of development, not forcing him into it. This is not the time for you and your husband to go on a week-long vacation to the Bahamas. Weaning by desertion is traumatic and may backfire. The following are suggestions for gradually weaning your child:

Start by skipping a least favorite feeding, such as in the middle of the day. Instead, engage in a fun activity together, such as reading a book or playing a game. Nap and night nursings are favorite feedings and will probably be the last to go.
Minimize situations that induce breastfeeding, such as sitting in a rocking chair or cradling baby. If you put baby in a familiar breastfeeding setting, he will want to breastfeed.
Use the "don't offer, don't refuse" method. Don't go out of your way to remind her to nurse. However, if your child persists, or her behavior deteriorates, this may indicate that breastfeeding is still a need rather than a want. Watch your child and trust your intuition.
Become a moving target. Don't sit down in one place for any length of time. But, remember, weaning means releasing, not rejecting. Breastfeeding helps the child venture from the known to the unknown. If you don't let your child make brief pit stops, he may insist on lengthy feedings when he finally gets you to sit down. Checking into homebase and refueling reassures him that it's okay to explore his environment, and gives him the emotional boost to venture out. Rejecting this need could developmentally cripple your child.
Keep baby busy. Nothing triggers the desire to breastfeed like boredom. Sing songs, read books, or go on an outing together.
Set limits. Putting limits on nursing, such as: "We only nurse when Mr. Sun goes down and when Mr. Sun comes up" does not make you a bad parent.
Don't wean baby from you to an object, such as a stuffed animal or blanket. Ideally, you want to wean baby from your breast to an alternative source of emotional nourishment. This is when dad should begin to take on a more involved role in comforting. As dad's role in baby's life becomes bigger, nursing will be less important.
Expect breastfeeding to increase during times of illness. These are times when your child needs comfort and an immune system boost.
Life is a series of weanings for a child: weaning from your womb, your breast, your bed, and your home. The pace at which children wean go from oneness to separateness is different for every child, and this should be respected. In our experience, the most secure, independent, and happy children are those who have not been weaned before their time.

I agree with Angie 100%, there is nothign wrong with continuing to nurse her when you are together. If she is still wanting it, she still needs it. Both my boys nursed well beyond a year, but it was mostly morning and bedtime feedings around a year old and beyond. They both still needed it, and breasmilk is so important for toddlers too, that we continued.

Think of it this way.... you are a coffee drinker, but someone is now telling you you can't have that, drink this imitation stuff instead. Then they walk around with the real stuff right in front of you and you can't have any. It would be tramatic for you, and its alot more tramatic for a little one who wants to breastfeed!

Follow her lead, don't ask don't refuse, let her nurse when she wants, your milk supply will be fine, at this stage it will match what she drinks, you won't become engorged unless you stop suddenly. If she nurses 4 times one day, and 2 times the next, your body will be just fine, it will compensate and you won't leak or become engorged. Just follow her lead!

I am afraid I may not be much help. I started to wean my 12 month old around 11 months. We cut out his daytime feedings first and that was easy while he is gone at daycare. However when he is home with me, he wants to nurse. I try not to nurse him to keep my milk supply the same, but it is very hard. Similar to your situation, as soon as he sees me and we get home, he is whining until I nurse him. I have tried several times to cut out the "as soon as we get home" feeding, but nothing has worked. I have tried cuddling, playing with toys and even reading books to distract him from nursing. I am still struggling to stop. Currently he is nursing when we get home, prior to bed and then 1 or 2 times at night. I am ready to be done, but it seems he is still very attached. I am interested in reading some of the responses you get to see if any of that advice will help me as well. Congrats on nursing!!

Yes ~ especially girls. They think about everything in terms of the relationship. I don't envy you in having to return to work. It will be hard on both of you.

The more you talk to her about it the better she will feel (girls need to be talked to about their feelings).

Tell her how sad you are that she cannot breast feed during the day while you are at work. Tell you her love her even when she cannot breast feed. Affirm that you know how sad she is too.

None of this is a magic bullet, but it will help the transition to move forward.

Feelings, feelings, feelings with little girls. Talk, talk, talk about them and affirm that they are valid. Love, love, love that they can communicate their feelings to you. It's great having girls :o)

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/2/T026400.asp

i hope that link works and gives you the information you need.

since i am scared of the formula industry, i encourage you to keep breastfeeding.

however, if you feel you sincerely cannot or dont want to, make sure you check with your doctor about the brand he recommends, and keep an eye on your daughter to be sure it is the right kind. some babies get really constipated on certain brands, so dont feel forced into one or another...

yes, your daughter may start acting up because of this weaning. she will come through it just fine im sure as many other children have also come through. make sure that when you are home and spending time with her, that it is real quality time - that might help ease her transition to dropping 2 daytime nursings. nursing is about more than breastfeeding, it is about closeness and love. so the more closeness and love you can give her while doing other things; reading books, etc, the easier it should make it for her.

it is WONDERFUL that you can work part time and you have had so much time off from work! that is fantastic! i really enjoy hearing about mothers who have put family first, as so many where i live dont. whatever decision you make, it will be right for you and your family and that is all that matters.

however, 2 more months isnt that long, you will avoid the hassle of formula, and the transition from breastmilk to (chocolate) milk will be smoother, and there wont be that attachment to the bottle... you dont want that!

is your daughter drinking from a sippy cup? i encourage you to give her other drinks (juice, water) in a sippy cup instead of a bottle. if you do choose to formula feed, remember that most children REQUIRE an extra cup of water or juice a day to keep the more concentrated formula from constipating them. i have a child in my day care who is 8 months old and has been on formula for 4-5 months, and has been struggling with constipation all the while because they didnt give him that extra water during the day. now that i have supported them to give him juice and water in a sippy cup, his constipation is finally going away. so remember that as an important factor in formula feeding.

something else that might help, do you have a sling? i HIGHLY recommend the maya wrap as it is the best one i have tried. see if the person caring for her during the day will use it with her. having more closeness during the day will hopefully replace a missing feeding.

are you able to go to see her or have someone bring her to you during your lunch time ? ? that would be a GREAT opportunity for nursing.

if you have any more questions, dont hesitate to ask.

I think I weaned my girl around the same time. I was working and was only feeding her 2 times a day. She was losing interest and enjoyed solid foods. I now have a 9 month old who is quite different. He loves to nurse and is still bfeeds 5 times a day he also eats baby food about twice a day and snack throughout the day, big boy. i work part time and I was pumping while i was at work but he stopped taking a bottle from anyone. So now he just waits for me to get home. My schedule changes all the time but he will patiently wait for me to get home then cry as soon as he sees me. I have come to the conclusion that he is not ready to be weaned at all. I think your children know what they want and will let you know.

Your baby is 10 months old and I think you are reading your irritability into hers. You are probably feeling guilty about weaning her. She will be fine, so chill out. It isn't like you have another option. If your daughter is cranky when you get home it is more likely because her routine has been interrupted and maybe her nap time. Discuss with her care provider how babies day is going and make sure it is the same as when baby is with you. Your care provider probably doesn't snuggle your baby as much as you would especially if she is caring for other children as well. The Church Lady

I would suggest nursing when you get home. I went back to work when my daughter was two months old and when I would get home at 5:30 she would be cranky until I nursed her. That was her way of reconnecting with mom after hours away from me, plus it was great for our bond. I would nurse in the am, pump at work and nurse once when I got home. I would also suggest cutting out the bedtime feeding so that she doesn't associate that with her bedtime routine, instead do bath, book and a short snuggle. When I decided to cut the 5:30 feeding I made sure that I fed her solids RIGHT when I got home. Putting her in the highchair and giving her a graham cracker while I steamed veggies and cooked chicken seemed to hold her over and made her forget about nursing. It was really easy for her because she became very attached to solid foods. She is now on a bit of formula, juice mixed with water and water at daycare, she's 10 months. (sidenote: when I started eliminating feedings my supply gradually declined which in turn made my daughter less interested in nursing. It sort of just worked itself out and she basically weaned herself. If you are relaxed about it, she will be too.) Good luck!

I weaned my youngest at almost 14 months and yes, he got very cranky. He was still breastfeeding about 4x/day. He was so upset that he didn't sleep for several nights in a row, screamed all night, and I even took him into the doctor to make sure he didn't have an ear infection or other problem causing him pain. He didn't. In retrospect I think I did it too quickly. I eliminated two feedings at once and should have done it more gradually. Maybe you can just eliminate one day time feeding at a time to make it a more gradual transition? Can you continue to nurse her before and after work? Good luck.

Have you thought that the formula may be giving her a tummy ache? That may be why she is crankier than normal. Have you tried to pump milk for her to have in your absence? Good luck with going back to work, I know how hard that is!