Advice About Preschool Child

Updated on September 14, 2011
A.S. asks from Glendora, CA
15 answers

I recently opened a preschool from my home and am having trouble with one girl who seems to think everything is "boring." She hates reading books and openly expresses her "boredom" every time I pull out a book (which the other kids LOVE to read and ALL of my units are centered around different books). Each day we do very hands-on and engaging activites centered around art and music and she says, "this is boring." We sing and dance and she says "this is boring." We paint and cut and paste and she says "this is boring." We write letters on our desk with shaving cream and she says "this is boring." We act out parts of stories and she says "this is boring." I have already told her that she is being disrespectful to the class and that her saying everything is boring is not ok but I am more concerned with the fact that she truly does not want to do these things. What 4 year old does not like to read books? Paint? Use glue? Dance around? The ONLY thing she ever wants to do is go outside to play. She IS a smart child but not to the point that she is gifted and this stuff is too easy for her or anything, so that is not it. She is constantly asking "how long until lunch recess" and it is exhausting. All of the other kids in my class love coming to school, love the activities we do, love listening to books etc. Help!

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K.L.

answers from Medford on

She sounds like a spoiled brat and should be told what the others are doing is not boring but if she doesnt like it she can sit on a chair far from the activity and just wait till you think of something more exciting. She might change her tune if she thinks she will be left out. It sounds like she wants to appear to be the best at everthing and her way of getting there is to claim its all boring and simple to her so others will think shes superior to them. My son tried this when he was about 5 and I let him sit away from the boring stuff until he decided it wasnt all that bad after all.

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M.B.

answers from Orlando on

Maybe have her be your helper give her a task and see if that will interrest her

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K.U.

answers from Detroit on

My guess is she just doesn't want to have to follow directions or have to do anything too structured - or this is a way for her to gain attention. Honestly, I would have a talk with her parents and if things don't improve, request that she be taken out of the class because she is being a distraction and a negative influence on the other kids. Maybe they need to wear her out playing outside before bringing her to class.

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B.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

A. - This can be so frustrating! I, too, have a preschool in my home. How about trying this: Ask her to choose the activity the group does after snack or help you plan & set up the next activity. She loves to play outside, so have her "earn" going outside. "When you sit & do circle time with us, then we can go outside." Explain clearly what "do circle time with us" means. During circle time, I let two children hold the flags when we say the Pledge of Allegiance, a different person gets to be the leader when we sing the Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday song. I always have the children set up all the outside stuff so that everyone feels involved. Obviously this helps everyone learn/practice cooperation and taking turns, which is a bonus! When a behavior situation comes up, I usually approach the parents like this: "At school, Ryan has been doing xxxxx. To change that behavior, I have been doing xxxxx. Are you experiencing this at home? If so, what have you found to be successful?" It takes a few weeks for anyone to change a habit or behavior, so please be patient with her & with yourself. If you want to chat more, you can email me at ____@____.com of luck to you! Sounds like you create really fun days for everyone!

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E.S.

answers from Dayton on

How did my DD get to California?
She could be a spoiled brat...or she might just want to do her own thing.
My DD has always resisted FUN! structured settings like that.
And she is not a spoiled brat, she is just wired differently than other kids.
You definitely need to talk to the parents.
I am very aware that my child can be disruptive and work pretty hard at nipping it in the bud.
Maybe they are unaware?
Sounds like she is not ready for preschool to me.
GL! Schedule that meeting ASAP! ;)

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J.K.

answers from Sacramento on

Hmmm... I've had a few kids that have done this. Maybe she hasn't bonded with other kids and isn't comfortable engaging in structured activities... or maybe she just wants to do her own thing and has never had to do anything she didn't want to do. What does she do when you go outside? Is she playing alone or does she engage with other kids? A couple of ideas come to my mind...

I would talk to her privately and see if I could get any insight to why she doesn't want to participate. Come from a place of concern and support so if she is having trouble adjusting and doesn't know how to express it other than saying she's "bored" you can find out how to help.

I would schedule a meeting with the parents and let them know what your concerns are and see if you can problem solve together. Is this normal behavior for her at home? Has she done this in other playgroups?

Or you might work on the opposite end of it... when she says it's boring, say " I'm sorry you aren't enjoying our activity, Jane... w'ed really like you to join with us, but if it's too boring for you, you can find another quiet activity to do." And then continue the activity with the other kids. Maybe when she realizes that "being bored" gets no reaction, she'll decide to try what you're doing after all.

As far as asking how long until recess I would tape the time on the clock and let her know that when the hands of the clock meet it then it will be time. Or give her a pretend /paper clock with the hands drawn to the lunch recess time so she can look at that and compare it to the clock. Be positive about it. Tell her "Jane I made this especially for you because I know that lunch recess is your favorite thing to do and you look forward to it. I thought you might like to be able to see the time this way, so you don't have to ask." And explain to her how to use it.

I've always told my own kids that if they are bored then they are boring. The days are filled with fun things to do and their attitude about it makes it fun or makes it boring. But I always tell them if they are having trouble coming up with ideas to find something to do they can ask and I'll help them brainstorm ideas. It's worked for us!

Good luck and congratulations on your preschool! It sounds FUN!

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

I would set up a parent teacher conference.

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K.N.

answers from Boston on

A couple of thoughts flashed through my head:

First, good for you! starting a preschool and planning such a well-rounded curriculum isn't easy!

Second, perhaps you could take her aside before or after class one day & ask her and her parent what she might find not boring?

Third, maybe this isn't the right situation for her or for you. Perhaps a talk with her mom or dad?

Good luck!

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D.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I would try and talk to her and ask one of two questions..
Do you know what Borning even means/ Or What makes this project so boring?
Or as others have suggested, you can ask her what project she does enjoy inside and maybe on certain days she can choose the schedule (as far as if they paint first or read) and on those days she cannot be bored and needs to think of others as you are thinking of her...
That can open up a can of worms however if one little one gets to choose the activity or others do not. And could teach her that even at such a young age she has a say, instead of following the rules of the school.
But I do agree that this can cause a conflict and distraction for the other kids, which is not fair.
Good Luck!!

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C.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have a son like this. every day is a challange. He also has ADD. Being outside is his thing. Can you do more activities outside? I feel for you, because she will bring everyone around her down.

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T.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

My 4 y/o daughter went through a phase where everything was "boring." Gosh, it was annoying. Good news it, it does seem to be just a phase.

Talk to her parents and ask them if they have any idea what is going on with her. If they are aware they can take proactive steps to help you out - or maybe even put her in a new preschool, as (and I mean no offense!) perhaps yours is not fully meeting her needs in some way.

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P.M.

answers from San Diego on

Like the other moms responded, ask the parents. Is she's a newer student? it may be a unfortunate adjustment period. Or is there a way to engage her by letting her be your "helper"?

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

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J.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

i would tell her this. 1st time she asks when recess is you tell her and then tell her next time she asks she will be put in time out for 5 mins. chances are she hears "this is boring" a lot at home from older siblings or something. maybe shake it up once a week and do a nature walk around the yard or a close park to collect leaves to do a leaf rubbing.

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A.N.

answers from Las Vegas on

Have you tried talking to her about it? I know she is 4, but she should be able to handle it if you keep it simple. I think if you can figure out a little about why she says that (could just be a learned thing from a parent or older sibling), maybe you can get her more involved, or figure out a way to incorporate more of what she likes. Reading books about outside, or learning about something she is interested in (have to find out what that is), could also help. I would try this without parents first, since she may not tell you the real reason with them there. If you can't figure it out and get her more involved, talk to them then. If you can't fix it, she probably does need to find a new place to go.

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