Advice - Lake Zurich,IL

I was a pre-school and kindergarten teacher until I had my 3rd child. I think your husband is correct. Kids will do this to each other. Their communication is not strong enough so when they get upset with each other that is what happens. Yes the teacher should have been there to help them learn how to deal with their emotion correctly, however maybe it was just an important moment that the teachers need to discuss something. Unforunitately it would be impossible for them to see ever moment with every child (they are not us) but that is also part of the learning process for your child. I always let my children know that they are great kids and never deserve to be hit and it there age appropiate language skill let them try to work it out with there friends. If you ask me that is the important part of preschool. If your child learns how to listen to other grown-ups and how to get along with other children that lesson will take them so far in there education. Once they master that you can teach them anything. However if this child continues to push your child definitely have a parent teacher conference. Also if these teachers are more concerned about what happen last night or what they are doing tonight it is not the right school for you. The pre-school my child attends has 3 teacher to 15 pre-schoolers and they get lots of attention. I hope this was helpful and I did not babble on to much. D.

I had a similar situation with my son. My husband was talking to him about school and he mentioned that "Charlie hit me." We prodded some more and discovered that Charlie eventually had said sorry at the teachers' request. I was upset that the teacher never mentioned the incident to me--especially since he was hit in the head. I called the school director and unaccusingly explained that I understand that kids will be physical from one time to another. But I was most upset that the school didn't tell me of the incident. She explained that the teachers should of told me what happened and that she'd follow up with them and research the issue further. You may want to approach it that way as well-- that you were upset that your child was injured (emotionally and/or physically) and that you were upset to first hear about it from your child. Ask the teachers if they can keep a close eye on the two kids when they're together to make sure there's no bullying going on. But, most importantly, teach your CHILD the coping skills to deal with the issue. This will not be the first child to push or hit your kid, unfortunately. But you don't want to teach him that the solution is to cry or tattle or sic Mommy on him. When he gets out into the real world, he needs to know how to stand up for himself. Tell him that if it happens again, that he should tell the other child "Please don't push me. That hurts." And if the other child won't listen, then he should tell his teacher. Teachers can't see everything, so I would give them the benefit of the doubt--at least until you've talked to them about it. And when you talk to them, be very cautious not to make them into the bad guys. Make them a member of your team-- in the end you want the teachers to like you and to keep the lines of communication open. Remember that your child is watching how you deal with this, too. Use your words and discuss tactfully, and your child will eventually learn to do the same. Good luck!!!

AS a mother of a 3 year old son in preschool also, pushing happens. Most preschool teachers are pretty attentive, and for every 1 unwitnessed push, they have probably stopped 5 other episodes. If it becomes a daily occurrence or there are visible signs of injury, I wouldn't worry about it. If it's going to bother you a lot, you can gently bring it up with his teacher. I have visited my sons classroom during different times of the day, and I am amazed that the teachers keep their sanity. 3 year olds are great, but their curiosity and ability to get into trouble never ceases to amaze me. One other thing, it's important to ask your child why the other child pushed him. Most of the time they push each other if they take a toy away from the child or provoke them in any way. Sorry to be so long winded.

I am not sure if I am the best person to answer this because I am extremely over protective but... I think that you should call the teacher or better yet speak to the teacher(s) directly when you drop off your son. They need to be made aware of this incident because sometimes it leads to more severe incidents. My son is 3 and started school in January. A boy has been bullying him since the beginning of the year and 2 weeks ago choked him. Not only is it unfair that kids are bullied, but our children learn behaviors from other children. My fear is that my son will pick up bad habits from other children and bring it home to my infant twins. I am also in education (high school) and would like to know if kids are picking on other kids so that I can keep my eyes open.

Hope this helps.

Good Afternoon. If your son and this boy (we will name him Tommy) were playing in your sons bedroom and your son pushed Tommy and Tommy went home and told his mom and his mom asked where you were and he said you were washing dishes in the kitchen, how would you feel if his mom called you up asing you why you werent sitting in the bedroom with them? It is all about letting go, trusting the facility and teachers w/in that facility. I am a mother of a 3 year old boy and a 9 month old girl. From now on out, you have to teach your son that it was not nice of Tommy to push him but next time if he feels uncomfortable (at your sons age, he should know what that word means and if not maybe say if it makes him feel bad) that he has options. He can tell the boy not to push him or he can tell a teacher. You will then be teaching him to A) fend for himself and fight his own battles and B) your teaching him how to resolve issues in his "Little World". Hope this helps. :)

F.,

I am a 27 yr. old stay at home mom of 3 and run a at home day care. Thinks like that will happen, but the other child should have been in a time out for pushing. But you have to be careful at this age and since you son did not like going he might say a little fib to see if he does not have to go again. (they are smarter then we think)Another think it might be you are too over protective being your first. I was like that with my fist and then second and third came and you learn to let go.

Good Luck