Yup! I was diagnosed inmy early 30's- would have been really nice to know that's why I was as I was as a child! Nevertheless, tried a number of different meds, including a huge dose of Ritalin (made me really sleepy!). Nothing helped- 20-30% of ADD people will get no help from meds. Just being aware of it has helped much, so do some behavioral modification techniques, but I've found, too, that so does accepting some of it as just "you." We are in a "pill for this, pill for that" society & not everyone or everything can/ should be "fixed." There are a lot of pluses to being an "ADD/ HD" type, it just depends on your point of view- just as being a night owl has its benefits over being an early bird...I can get more done between 10 pm & 1 am, than some people do all day!
There a ton of books out there & I've read a fair number of them. Some swear ADD is a biological/ brain disorder, others claim nutrition and environment result in the behaviour. Others, say there's nothing wrong, just... different I'm on the fence a bit. I know I process things differently than the average Joe, but being average can be pretty boring too! We are expected to get along in a society that does not appreciate many of the ADD behaviours, and we are expected to perform in a "box." Do some research & come to your own conclusions. If this is about you, try to alter what you can- you may even need some extra help, like a counselor or life coach to keep you on track. Try meds if you feel it necessary. But more than anything, accept it. If it is your spouse, well, I'm sorry! We CAN control ourselves, we as ADD'ers can't forget that. We CAN choose, it is just more difficult- in some cases much more difficult... but we can still do it. We are adults, not 3 year olds anymore. If we are shown how our behaviour adversely affects our spouse/ family & we can work on issues together- w/ said spouse accepting just a little of it as our personal "quirkiness", it is much easier.
Cruise the net, there is some good stuff on all sides of the arguement out there!
D.