ADHD Son Entering Middle School (Help)

He sounds awesome. My little brother is in middle school and is the same way when he dosen't have his ADHD Patch on. He does so well on it that if he forgets to put on his patch then he will call my mom and ask her to bring it to him. It took a couple different tries to find the perfect medicine for him. The only time he doen't wear it is on the weekends.

PS It might not be something he growns out of, I'm 24 and still on meds for add. But I'm also more responsible and I know what I need to do to make it work for me. I understand that I have to set my things out the night before and that yes I will forget unless I do it right then. I take a lower dose of medicine now.

My husband is almost 50 and is still ADHD!
He is an adult ADHD.
You do not grow out of it, you learn techniques to cope.

He says that your son will need to be taught exactly what is expected for behaviors, school and work... And then he will need to be reminded, until he can attempt to even try to find a way to remind himself what he is supposed to be doing..

We have been married almost 30 years and I have known my husband since 7th grade. I am very aware, my husband will NEVER have the concept of time... It is non existent to him. He uses his iphone, his casio watch and his computer when I am not around to keep him on task. He has to write things down and post them everywhere to remind himself.

What is interesting is, my husband can pretty well keep all of his stuff organized at work, he is a purchasing director for a major city dept. but once he leaves, he just lets all of that organization go. Because everyday is different and he does not have to sit at a desk all day, he copes. He also finds if he can exercise it helps him clear his mind and work though thoughts. Swimming, running, biking seem to work best for my husband.. Also creative projects are soothing to him.

You will need to work with your son to figure out, what type of system works for HIM. He needs to understand that most other people remember things in their own minds, but he will do better with visual cues or audio cues. He must take his medication to get through a successful day, but when he comes home, be prepared to be his "gentle stay on task master"..

My husband say ADHD is like a constant stream of information running through your brain all at once with no commas..

He says this is an example of this morning

I need to be at work what will I wear since I want to ride my bike did I have a burger yesterday or was I thinking about going to lunch with Mike he said he was going to the coast I wonder if dad remembered that I need to borrow the saw to cut down the.. my bike has a flat I will need to drive do I have an appointment or lunch what was the cat doing over there I need to take a piece of fruit. Where are my keys I need to feed the cat these cloths are not clean I need to get my check book.

Pretty amazing that they can function. It will take some tweaking of his medication and remember as he grows, his meds will need to be adjusted. Is your son listed as ADHD at school? He can be given extra time to complete tasks and take tests, so that he is not penalized. Also send anote to each of his teachers to let them know you want to be informed of any difficulties your child is having..

Hi there. Your son is much older than mine so I'm sure you know a lot more about ADHD than I do. My almost 5 year old was diagnosed with ADHD as well as Sensory Integration Disorder. One of the treatments when he was in Occupational Therapy for the SID was heavy work. He is no longer in treatment for the SID (he has come a LONG way). I still use these methods when he is bouncing off the walls or cannot concentrate. It works amazingly well. Whenever we have to go somewhere I know he will struggle with (going to someone else's home, a stimulating environment, school, appointments, restaurants, etc.) I will have him do things before we leave like jogging around the block, jumping on a mini-trampoline and crashing onto pillows on the floor, carrying a heavy backpack around the house, carrying our laundry basket. Somethings more appropriate and easy to do for your older child might be pushups, pull ups, jumping jacks. You can also have him chew gum, drink thick foods/drinks out of straws (like applesauce, yogurt, jello). Especially have him do this while doing homework. It sounds very strange, I know! I was NOT a believer when we were introduced to all of this. I am now. All of these activities are calming. Ask his teachers to let him run errands (taking things to the front office or library). This will allow him to get a little walk in mid-day. Try it out this summer and see if you notice a difference. Other heavy work ideas: Pull his little sister around on a sheet, carry your groceries in, mop floors, sweep, vacuum, rake, mow lawn, wrestling, pillow fights, any sport that involves running and jumping, skating. You get the idea; anything physical. It took about 20 minutes of jumping and crashing yesterday before my son could calm himself (he was especially wound). Usually only 5 or 10. However, he was GREAT the rest of the evening. Good luck to you; I know how difficult it can be for us and our children.

My brother has ADHD and OCD although now has grown out of them and can control his action but when he was in school my dad did a few studies. During the school year he would take Aderol and vitamin B6. During the summer he would only take the B6. My dad did several studies and found that ADD/ADHD and several others are caused by a lack of B6 in the brain so he started adding B6. Try adding a vitamin B6 and see what happens. It may make a big difference.

L.,

Most children do not outgrow ADHD. They learn better coping skills AFTER puberty! If you do not have a medical degree I feel like you need to give your son his medicine as the doctor prescribes it. I have 2 ADHD sons and they are both on medicine. One of them can take breaks from it in the summer and the other cannot. All kids are different. If your son is in a social situation like camp and you aren't giving him his medicine, you are setting him up for failure. The medicine doesn't control behavior, but it controls the impulsivity so that your son can make a better choice. Think about it this way...if he couldn't see, would you give him glasses on just one eye? Please reconsider giving him the right dosage so he can feel good about himself and not be in trouble all of the time.

Peace,
C.

As for the upcoming school year...Stay in close contact with your son's teachers. Before school even starts or perhaps the 1st week of school contact the teachers either by email, as a team or individually and MAKE it known what yours son's individual needs are. THEN about a week or 2 after that drop an email or in person to check and see how he is doing.

Teacher are so overwhelmed the first few weeks of school that it is hard to pinpoint individual students names and possible needs to them.

You will also want to continue to check in with him every few weeks to monitor behavior as well as homework. Depending on how many classes/teachers your son has it could become more than he can handle so your support and supervision will be wonderful for all involved.

You know what is best for your child as you have had him for all his life and know his ups/downs. A teacher has him for a year and maybe finally getting the hang of things by the time the year is coming to an end. PLEASE do not depend on the teacher to update you. Take the lead with your child and constantly monitor the situation. As a teacher it can be very demanding with 100+ students but if a parent takes the time to initiate conversations periodically it can really go a long way and have a lot more benefit.

I don't have a child with ADHD, yet, but I'm a school teacher. Most school districts have behavior/special ed specialist that can help put a plan together to help him transition. Most school call it an intervention plan.

Use all of your free resources! It's great to see that you are planning for his success. BTW, try a yoga ball in stead of a chair for him to sit it, he can bounce without distract the rest of the class, and the motion might even help him concentrate, you can even get on for home when he's trying to do homework.

Hi L.,
I am not a dr. but I do not think it is ever a good idea to adjust meds without the dr. approval. There are many implications that could occur with this happens.
ADHD- is something they never outgrow- it is a lifelong circumstance they have to deal with even into adulthood. Just go with the counselor- putting him with a group of children above his behavior level will not be fun for him or the others. Let him have fun with the age appropriate group he relates to on his level. He will be happier. Then if he shows interest in being with older children you should impress on him he needs to behave accordingly. I know he cannot help some of his behaviour habits, but he can learn self control there- and if he practices self control it will help him as he gets older in school. Not only does he have to contend with this issue but he will be very shortly, if not already hitting that puberty mark and other changes will be occuring. He will be fine if you let him "set his marks" and you gently guide him to higher marks as he gets ready.
good luck and blessings

L.,

Why are you giving him half dose of medication? I understand that you want to teach him to use behavior modification to control his actions. He may need the full dose to have his mind settle and he can think without distraction. Please understand that ADHD children/adults have difficulty controlling impulse. The frontal region of their brain is different. He jumps, hops, and skips because he is reacting to request of moving onto something new. We may just simply think this process through and walk to the dinner table. He has extra energy. It is kind of like a race horse in the gate. They don't just stand still. I am assuming that you work with him on a routine and schedule. This helps.

I wish you and him the best during the next school year. I do not have an ADHD child. I am a professional organizer that work clients with ADHD, ADD, chronic fatigue, and clinical depressed. Behavior modification is the best way to work with my clients. Often, I can't make any progress unless they are on medication.

Take care,
Danabeth

Good morning! Let me start with some background on my self and family...I am 33 and have had ADD all of my life. Unfortunately, I have passed it along to both of my children (12yo ADD and 8 yo ADHD 1 who has concentration difficulties she needs her meds for school only,and the other who needs his meds daily depending on activities) I had never been medicated until recently. I do not give my kids the meds on most weekends and during the summer.Just recently we have decided that our son is having such a hard time that we will continue his meds more frequently this summer. It is just not fair to him to be looked down upon due to the chemical imbalance he has that causes the behaviors. Now you don't know us or our parenting ways, we are very strict on our children and they both have chores daily (ex they wash their own clothes) So no we are not the parents that make excuses for our kids or let them run over us, we are "old fashion" and raise our kids the way our parents raised us. I feel this is important for you to know when it comes to considering advice from strangers.
Advice for you...his meds are there to help him. This is not a learning behavior (like most kids) his meds are there to help him and you are not helping him in anyway by decreasing them while in school. There are many levels of severity of Add/adhd..and if he is of a med to higher level then he needs all of the help he can get. The best thing is to not make excuses for him (well he has Add, so this is why he act this way). That just makes it worse.

As far as organization at school. Get him a zipper binder with a calendar/organizer (most middle schools have one they give,check into it) have a divider and a pocket folder for each class. This is where he is to put each days work (homework) etc. At the end of the day sit down with him help him organize his home work and get it back to the folder so when that class comes he knows where to pull it out. The calendar is to write down on the day(whie in class what his homework is) then at the end of the day he can open it up (to 1 place) and find what he needs to take home. Good luck and I am sorry for rambling on!

Helping your son with his organization will be key. If he doesn't use one already, you may want to get him a stress ball he can take into class. Many kids find it useful to squeeze while listening to lecture, doing work, etc. and makes a better outlet than tapping a pencil or messing with the other students. Continue to communicate with his teachers, and make sure he knows about it. If his school has a mentoring program, ask to participate. If not, after awhile you may find that your son gravitates toward a certain teacher and you can ask that person if s/he will be willing to be his mentor. As for the question as to medicate or not to medicate, only you can decide that with the help of his doctor. I will say that I have seen some kids that can do fine without medication, but I have also seen kids that really do need medication to be as successful as they can be. And of course, make sure he is involved in some physical activities. Good luck!

I had my son enter a summer "day camp" program only to end up with a similar response from the staff. He's too belligerent. He's too preoccupied. He's not ready.

It is true that my son gets along better with younger kids but the reaction of the day camp staff really surprised me. I have decided that they just didn't have any trained staff able to identify what my son was going through and how to respond appropriately.

I have become very picky about what summer programs he can participate in.

Also, I feel I need to remind you that changing the dosage of a prescribed medication should really be done along with permission of your child's doctor or psychiatrist. If you want to half the dosage, ask what to look for (some specific examples) which would give you the clue that halving the dosage isn't working. It can get expensive to repeatedly visit the doctor's office. One thing I have done is make a plan with the doctor. I've been able to call and leave a message for the doctor (sometimes getting a return call) and get approval to change a dosage.

Good luck.

I am not an expert on ADHD, but here are my thoughts. First, have you adjusted your son's diet and minimized the amount of sugar he consumes? Remember, sugar is a chemical. Bring his own snack and lunch. Look at every label closely and feed him food from the earth as much as possible. No juice-only water. Secondly, perhaps you can try getting him to exercise in the morning before he goes to camp and see if that helps get some of his energy out. Good Luck!

My son, now 31 years old, was extremely hyperactive -still is. He misbehaved in school until he became involved in sports- basketball and football. At that point, he made the effort to control his behavior because it was so important to him to be on the teams. He got into sports in the 9th grade, but I don't think it would be a bad idea for your son to get involved in team sports now. If he is motivated, he will control himself. Also, you could give him the whole dose of medication and see if it helps his behavior. I do not believe in medication alone to control behavior anyway. I am a spec. ed. teacher too and I think that behavior plans and finding what motivates a child to behave are very important. I also do not think that people grow out of hyperactivity. They do learn to control it, adjust to it etc. The good thing is that they have lots of energy as adults and tend to do really well. Good luck. J. K.

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Speaking only from my own experience, I don't know if it's something a person "grows out of." I'm 31 and it's how I am hardwired. I wasn't diagnosed until adulthood and the road to here was really, really tough. Behavior modification is helpful, but i can't tell you how frustrating it is to not be able to concentrate on one simple thing long enough to allow the behavior modification to work. As an adult, I do take meds and it has changed my life for the better. I sleep through the night, I am calm and more focused. I can complete goals. It's amazing.
That said - personally, I am against medicating kids. His brain is still developing and one must consider the ramificaitons of chemically altering the adolescent developing brain. If you have weighed it and feel medication is necessary, then you should be giving him his prescribed dosage. Medication for add people will help calm the wild hyperness - at least it does for me. Too little won't have an effect. I am hyper as can be, constantly interrupt, etc. I've been trying so hard...the right dosage can really make a difference.
I just want to reiterate that I do not think it's wise to medicate our children. He's starting Jr. High, he's supposed to be jumping around a lot. That's what kids do. If he's really gifted in school, he's probably bored out of his mind. Many schools aren't always geared towards realistic learning styles. It's not made for the children to blossom creatively, it's more of a stifling conditioning process. Maybe look into an educational forum that will work with his strengths and abilities naturally, allowing you to consider leaving behind medication until after his mind has had the chance to develop and level off.

Cut anything artificial out of his diet and give him some high omega 3 flax oil. It seriously helps my 3 boys with ADHD. I do not medicate my boys, just follow an all natural, mostly organic (though not exclusively organic) diet.

Behavioral therapy may also help. Your Dr. should be able to point you in the right direction with that.

My oldest is also going into middle school next year.....

Hi L.,

I have a 2 yr old girl, so I haven't experienced adhd with her. I have been shopping with a health and wellness company on-line and there are testimonies on improving add/adhd without prescribed medications. In the Health and Wellness guide for add/adhd reads: Clinical studies indicate that there is a link to dietary and environmental factors. Simple sugar cravings and intolerance to sugar appear to be indicated. Several studies show a link to essential fatty acid deficiencies within the brain. Identify any and all food, food additives, household cleaners and synthetic substances shown to be reactive, and remove them from the environment. Reduce fried foods,potato chips, french fries, etc. sugar(including artificial sweetners), and food colorings. Converting your home to safer ingredient environmentally friendly cleaning and personal care products. It's summertime and schools will start soon. Contact me if you'd like to know more about improving your son's adhd without medication.
Sincerely,
J. M
http://www.HealthyFamilyGoGreen.com