ADHD Questions - Sandy,UT

This is a great article about ADHD that just appeared in the NY Times: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/12/14/health/14klass.html?src...

hope this helps.

LOL... I was in the USMC, and I'm adhd. Worked in the airwing (air traffic control & then crewchief/rescue swimming). One just can't be on MEDS and be in the military. Outside of the military; A very high percentage of non-commercial pilots I know are ADHD. (I'm not familiar with commercial pilot regulations). So if your son wanted to be a pilot, he'd just need to go for the "sexier" position of a fighter pilot or private pilot assuming adhd is a disqualifying factor for driving sky busses. Oh darn.

Medical records are PRIVATE. As private as as communications between a priest or a lawyer. They're very, very protected. One has to give permission/ volunteer them OR the courts have to grant a warrant for them (rarely happens).

School records, otoh, are a grey area. If your husband is freakin' out... why not split the difference in the beginning? DO seek treatment (diagnosis, therapy, and *maybe* meds... but DON'T involve the school. Keep it all private. Whether you choose to use meds or not is none of the school's business unless you make it their business (504 or IEP) or if they have to dose your son in school. Ditto therapy. None of their business.

Just because a child or adult is adhd, doesn't necessarily follow that they have to be on meds. They CAN be, it's not required. The courts can't even order than someone who is adhd be placed on meds like they can with other disorders (except for in certain divorce cases where one parent is medicating and the other isn't... and even then it's rare). BUT even if you do go the meds route (I'm sure my son -also adhd, like mommy- would need them to excel if he was in awayschool instead of homeschooled) you can go with an "extended release" type. MANY different types of meds come in an extended release format. If your son doesn't need the school to administer meds, and you don't seek an IEP or 504 there is no record of your son being ADHD in the "grey area" of the school system at all.

Weeeeeeeeell..... My husband is a truck driver. Nowhere did they ask if he has or ever had ADHD. You have to go to the school, pass all the tests and pass a physical. As long as they can do that, they're good to go. As for being a pilot, if you have so much as poor vision & need contacts, you can't be a pilot. I know these are just instances but it sounds to me like there may be more for your hubby. Is he scared of having an ADHD son? Is he worried about paying for prescriptions? Feelings of failing as a parent? I would talk a little more to hubby about it cuz it seems like the job arguement is kind of a cover-up for something deeper. Good luck R.. :)

I have never heard of such a thing. ADHD is something that needs to be addressed so your son can receive the help he needs. Sounds like your husband is more concerned about being embarrassed by diagnosis and is not thinking clearly. No parent wants to hear any diagnosis for their child, however it is a parents job to give their children the best chance at a successful life. If your son is falling behind now it will only get worse with the degree of difficulty down the road. In my opinion you need to put your down with your husband and get him evaluated now. The earlier you receive intervention the better it is for your child.

A) he will be able to get a cdl with adhd. B) If he cant read or write he isnt going to be able to do those things either and much more. C) If your son had a heart disorder that was messing him up not only would you want it diagnosed you would want meds to help him with it. D) Its not a label its a reality (and one your husband will have to face)

Those are things I had to help myself and husband face when we were dealing with this a few years ago ourselves. Many parents in general do not want to accept something is "wrong" with their kids but for some reasons fathers really have a hard time with it with their sons. When it came down to it I did what I knew I had to for my boys despite what anyone else thought. I knew something was going on with them and I knew they needed help with it. So help they got. I will say my husband was supportive but worried about labels. Like I said in my opinion its not a label but a reality tho I would rather them have the label of adhd than the bad kids.

Good for you in doing what you think is best for your son. My hubby was not on board with having our daughter tested at first too. He didn't like labeling her, also I think it was the fact that no parent wants to have something wrong with their kids. I have never heard of any job questionnaire asking about ADHD ect. or employers going through my school records. And ultimately would you want your adult son put in a position where he could get hurt or hurt others due to a disorder or even worse one that could be treated. Really I hate the word, we are so harsh when it comes to issues with our brain. Its always because of something we aren't eating or are eating. ( be prepared for those people) Perhaps its just that our brains sometimes need a little help. No one questions a diabetes diagnosis. Plus as one mom mentioned medical records are private. As for school you have rights as a parent. Our doctor gave us some information and your school should too if you choose to get extra help through the school ( IEP ect..) Do discuss any diagnosis with your sons teacher. A good teacher will help you with feed back and if you do try meds, can be a good set of eyes for any side effects. We always worry about what others think, but getting my daughter diagnosed with ADHD was the best thing I could do for her. She was losing friends at school and starting to get the image of the bad wild child. On meds she has been able to control her impulses and now comes home happy everyday because she feels better about herself. Her self worth has skyrocketed because everything is no longer a negative.
What helped my hubby was I had him come to several teachers meetings at school so he knew it wasn't just me worrying about our daughter. Also he was involved in the doctors visits so again I think it helped his fears. Once he got somewhat on board he was convinced that we were right the day we tried her on meds ( we started over the weekend so we could watch her) She was herself, but able to relax and listen. She didn't kick him black and blue by swinging her legs under the table at meals. It was a wonderful change. I understand your hubby has fears and like one mom said talk to him about them. It can be a scary path ( I cried the week I put my daughter on meds) But once the fears get spoken it is easier to arm yourself with information. I wish I had more ideas or at least some good books to help you. We have just got our diagnosis this fall, so I have been weeding through books and info ( it can be a bit overwhelming) We do not regret the decision we made to get our daughter help and it has been wonderful watching the change in her as she succeeds in school. If limitations come up we will face that when and if it happens. Sorry this was so long. Good luck to all of you and I hope it goes well. Hang in there.

OK, first off, having a diagnosis of ADHD will not keep him from having a CDL or getting a job. It's only on his school record, not like the DMV or anybody will even have access to that. My brother was extremely ADHD through high school, but was accepted into the Marines, became a sergeant, drove heavy machinery, and even had a haz-mat endorsement and did work as an MP. He now (after honorable discharge) drives a city bus - which requires a CDL and then some! Honestly, employers cannot legally ask if someone is diagnosed with ADHD or any other disability, unless it directly affects the performance on the job (and ADHD has never been linked conclusively enough to any that I am aware of), and they cannot look at school, or even medical, records.

On the other hand, getting an official diagnosis can qualify your son for an IEP (individualized educational plan) which requires, by federal law, for the school to make reasonable accomodations to help him learn and perform well in school. Might this mean pull-out/resource? possibly - you will have to meet with the special ed coordinator, classroom teacher, and principal a couple of times a year (maybe more at first) to assess how he is doing and make goal for him and a plan of action (he can be involved in this too). Will it give him a "stigma" from teachers or other kids? possibly, but probably not any more than his behavior already could.

I'm actually considering starting the process for my 9y.o. son, because he is struggling in some school aspects and I want him to be able to be successful.

I'm sorry you're in such a bad spot- but good for you for wanting to do the right thing for your son. It sounds like your husband is being protective and 'papa bear', which is very sweet and well-meaning. I don't know exactly what records are his concern, and don't truly know the legalities of that. But I will say if your son is not treated he will have a very difficult time even getting through school, so flying a plane is the least of his worries. Having a happy childhood and successful academic career, for me, seems to far outweight those concerns. It is hard, though, to feel like your kid will be labeled and suffer as a result. I think you'll find a supportive community if diagnosed that can answer your concerns.

And I just have to add, that changing a diet in some ways can't do any harm, but it really hasn't shown to treat ADHD. I don't want to diss the posts that suggest radical diet changes, but please don't go overboard and cling to these as miracle cures. They just aren't.

Hi R.,.

Because ADHD is simply a "disorder" there is only a set of symptoms that identify it. My daughter was diagnosed with ADHD but the symptoms were reversable. I was actually poisoning her with my cleaning habits and our bath and body products. I was a clean freak so she was exposed to many synthetic chemicals that a "dirty" household would not be exposed to. I literally detoxed my home and started feeding her healthier foods (nothing processed) and her diagnosis was removed the next time we went to the doctor. She had a horrible time in school and was on grade level and excelling within 8 weeks. There are many diagnosed cases of ADD or ADHD that is simply a neurological poisoning and it can be reversed....mind you, not all cases but even those cases are probably exacerbated by the synthetic chemicals. There are absolutely everywhere we go. What I found was my daughter's immune system was so strong because our home was healthy that she functions better in other settings now. Her body is able to fight off the toxins at church, at the mall and those other places that bleach and the like are used.

Like I said, it may not be your son's case but it would be worth it to try. I can walk you through what I did. It was simple and inexpensive.

God bless,

M.

I have a different problem, but somewhat similar reaction from my husband. Our kids are gifted. Our oldest is turning 7 soon, and was in kindergarten last year. I've been researching gifted resources and reading about how to handle gifted children for 4 years, in league with my pediatrician. My husband's reaction was, "You're trying to turn him into a nerd!"

I finally found a way to get my son tested early without paying for it personally. We had to say that we wanted him tested to see if he could skip first grade. My husband was on board with testing, mostly because he was curious, I think. But we had battles because he is dead-set against grade skipping. He rattled off all the ignorant, old-fashioned ideas people have about grade skipping (I had the same ones at first) that modern research has blown out of the water. I knew this because I'd done the research. I sent one article to my husband to read, but he didn't even open the thing.

I was so frustrated, and was prepared for a battle when we went to a meeting to get our son's test results. DH was late, so I warned the adviser that he might not be cooperative. When DH came in, he knocked my socks off by being on-board with the grade-skip. It came out later that he hadn't listened to a single word I said, or read the article. He'd emailed a sports figure he admires who skipped first grade and asked him if he thought it was a good idea. The sports figure said yes, so DH was okay with our son skipping.

Holy guacamole, what a ridiculous, arbitrary way to get him on board!

I'm sorry that I don't have any trick or advice to get your husband to see the light. Maybe some random sports hero will email your husband, too, and change his mind. But I wanted you to know that you're not alone in your situation!

I can suggest that you make it a priority to make appointments with your school when your husband can come. I was offended but relieved that my husband listened to the school staff a lot better than he listened to me.

(I just wanted to add something that occurred to me, a parallel between our sons' situations that our husbands don't seem to understand. My husband thought that labeling our son as gifted meant that we were going to alienate him from other kids, and he'd be better off just learning to fit in with everyone else. He was worried about our son being small for his grade, because then he wouldn't have a size advantage in sports. He worried that he wouldn't have his drivers' license when everyone else did. True, those are things to consider, but what about now? Our son was getting into trouble, talking, wiggling, writing on other kids' papers, etc. because he was bored stiff. Should we subject our son to 10 years of boredom on the off chance that he wants to play football and get a drivers' license with his buddies? It's not like keeping him with his age-mates would ensure a great future, anyway. Gifted kids who are stuck in regular classes usually learn to hide their smarts, then grow up to be average people. So our choices are to have him reach his potential or get his drivers' license the same year his classmates do. Hmmm....that's a no-brainer to me.
I don't know what restrictions ADHD people have, but what are the chances that your son is going to want to be a pilot or commercial driver? Are those his only good employment options? I don't think so! And how in the world is he even going to make it through high school if he can't focus or sit still? I see your choices as help him be successful at school or hope that make sure he could be a truck driver. Also a no-brainer!)

Good luck!

Hi--
Mimi is on to something. ADHD symptoms are typically caused when the body becomes too toxic and it effects the processes of the brain. The toxicity can come from a number of places--food allergies (typically gluten or dairy), as well as sensitivity to chemical preservatives and dyes, cleaning products, personal care products (if you can't eat it, don't put it on your skin, as your skin absorbs anything you put on it), flame retardants on pajamas, heavy metals from pollution and vaccines, off-gassing from furniture, carpet, paint, etc. You get the picture.
Changing his diet to just food (if you read the ingredients and don't know what it is, then you probably shouldn't eat it because it's probably not food), having him tested for food allergies and sensitivities, changing your cleaning products and self-care products to only natural things (cleaning with baking soda and vinegar and hydrogen peroxide--using something like Dr. Bronner's soaps) will probably cause you to see a decrease in the symptoms he is displaying. There are some other natural things you can do as well to help him. If this sounds like something you want to pursue I am happy to help!
Good luck,
J.

Maybe have him tested for a milk allergy. It can have the same effects as ADHD

I have never heard that they cant get CDL for being ADHD. Is that just in your state? My 4 have diagnosed with ADD/ADHD. Whether I believe it or not is a different question but my ex has control over that given by the courts.... :(

My 8 y/o has ADHD and has been diagnosed since 4. The only way the school knows is if I tell them, otherwise I give him his pill in the morning and that is the only time he gets it and he is excelling in school so he does not need the IEP or 504 plan either.
As for the diet "idea" please do not go overboard, it MAY help, but I highly doubt to the extreme some people believe .. I do clean a ton and i have used organic and it made NO difference so I use the stuff that works, also, does anyone find it weird that only one child is affected by cleaning supplies ??? I have 3 kids and so far my 8 y/o is the only one with ADHD ..
Good luck, I know the feeling you are going through.. My husband is totally on borad after he is home with him on weekends :)

I would ask my husband to please take a day and observe in the back of the class for an entire day. Also to talk to a qualified special ed teacher to tell him the pros and cons.