Adhd - Lockport,NY

Updated on April 25, 2007
J.R. asks from Lockport, NY
20 answers

My son is in the 2nd grade. Since he started school in 2002, he has had nothing but problems and every teacher (except last year's) has told me the same things over and over. He was tested twice for ADHD. He was diagnosed as having a mild case and the phsychologist was going to recommend medication until my ex starting throwing his weight around. My ex had Collin tested for a third time (which came back the same) however, the phsychologist was no longer going to recommend medication. I think that my ex has threatened or scared the phsychologist. My son's teacher this year recently called me with the same concerns that all of the other teachers have had in the past. I am going to have him tested again to see if their are any changes. If not, I am going to go ahead and have my son medicated. I no longer need my ex's permission to do so. All I have to do is consult with him. When we 1st started taking my son for the evaluations, the phsychologist told us that there are no excercises for ADHD. Since my ex has gotten involved, the Dr. has changed his story. He is now telling us that there are excercises. I want what is best for my son. It breaks my heart to see him struggle in school and at home. Homework often ends with both of us in tears. Every year I see my son's self esteem & enthusiasm for school dropping a little more. My question is, what is the best way to deal with a child that has ADHD without medication?

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So What Happened?

My son had his tonsils and adenoids removed this summer. It turns out that his enlarged adenoids were causing problems for him while he was sleeping. He was snoring, talking and even walking in his sleep. He was also not breathing at times when he would snore. It turns out that, that is sleep apnea. The doctor said that his restless nights were causing him to have behavioral issues during the day. Since his surgery, he has made great improvements. He's not as tired and he has calmed down and can focus a lot better. I want to thank everyone for all of your help and support.

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L.G.

answers from Buffalo on

The UB center for learning might be a great place to try. they do a lot of research in regards to adhd and they have a summer treatment camp. They do a lot of different interventions and i don't think all of them include meds. they have a psychiatrist who works through there that specializes in adhd. If you can't find the number, let me know, i have it in my rolodex at work.

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D.S.

answers from Albany on

This is posted elsewhere here and at CafeMom.com Ex may be intimidating the Docs OR he may be right.... most Docs will tell you there's no special diet that can help. Ask a nutritionist or just try it for a couple months.
Hope it helps!

This worked VERY well with a foster child years ago. I was able to cut out drugs except during school hours within a few months (with Dr's permission). If anyone wants recipes or has questions let me know. She didn't go "off the walls" but was able to express emotions and feelings like every other kid. The drugs stifled her. She blossomed, put some meat on her very boney frame and was more even tempered overall.

Keep in mind that ritalin and puberty don't mix. Raging hormones tend to make ritalin do the exact opposite of what it's supposed to do, leaving them very moody instead.

BEST FOODS:

Eggs and egg yolks, Fish, Chicken, Beef liver, Lamb

Brussels sprouts, Carrots, Beans, legumes, peas, limas, Broccoli
Soybeans and soy products

Mushrooms, Spinach

Blackstrap molasses, Iodized salt

Brown rice, Potatoes

Whole grain breads and cereals: oat, rice, rye

Most nuts (no peanuts), Raisins, Sunflower seeds, Avocado, Bananas


AVOID:

SALICYLATES – naturally occur in almonds, apples, apricots, cherries, currants, all berries, peaches, plums, prunes, tomatoes, cucumbers, oranges

ALSO - Refined sugars, Artificial colors, Artificial flavors, Preservatives, Aspartame (nutra sweet)

LIMITED INTAKE:

Apple cider vinegar, bacon, butter, candy, catsup, chocolate, colored cheeses, chili sauce, corn, ham, hot dogs, luncheon meat, margarine, mustard, pork, salami, salt, soft drinks, soy sauce, sausage, tea, and wheat.

ALSO – antacid tablets, cough drops, perfume, throat lozenges, commercial toothpaste.

***We had found that most of the “limited intake” items were NOT a major concern for our girl. Her definite triggers are all the salicylate items, ESPECIALLY tomatoes! Everyone is different; keep a journal and see what works for you.

MB's FAVORITE FOODS:

Eggs, fish, chicken, steak, pork, shrimp, Chinese food, tuna fish, egg salad, cream of anything soup

Carrots, corn, brussels sprouts (on and off), limas, broccoli, salad w/ranch dressing, fresh veggies, cole slaw
Not crazy about plain potatoes but LOVES scalloped, rice pilaf, spaghetti w/alfredo sauce, lo mein, stuffing, macaroni & cheese, cheese ravioli w/ garlic butter, white pizza w/broccoli & garlic

Oatmeal (throw in raisins & cinnamon), rice krispies, raisin bran, bagels & cream cheese

Grapes, tropical fruit, pineapple, frozen vanilla yogurt, granola bars, oatmeal cookies, bananas w/raisins, all melons

Milk, lemonade, pineapple juice, white grape juice

________________
***Side Note: Things like scalloped potatoes and rice pilaf I make from scratch. I don't buy things that come in boxes or we "just add water". I like to avoid the chemicals as much as possible. Maybe if your little one likes the soups or even the cheese sauce for pasta you can try "hiding" some chopped veggies in there. Keep offering and she may yet develop a liking. Fruit in jell-o or with ice cream?? It can be a real challenge when they can tend to be skinny from meds, too. Keep trying and let me know if I can help. Feel free to post this anywhere if you think others may find it useful.

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M.R.

answers from New York on

I am a new parent and am in no way an expert. Have you ever thought about changing his diet and turning off the tv and video games for a little while? It might also be a good idea to work with him on relaxing and visualization as well. If he could work on visualizing himself doing better then that might help.

My mother works with children and we often talk about their behavioral problems. Alot of children...not just yours....have problems listening, focusing and following directions. These challenge affect their mental, academic and social health.

So many of our children (including mine) are just wired from the food and the tv. My daughter is about to be 4 and I realize that I am going to have to start now because it is important for her to be able to have good mental, academic and social skills once she enters elementary.

One thing that my mother (who is a Director of a daycare) and has raised 3 children recommends is giving the child your sole attention once you come home. This is definitely easier said than done but I am slowly but surely working on it because I am a single mother with a very scattered village.

I am working on improving our eating habits in hopes that we both will reap the benefits.

Medication is an option but why not exhaust the natural possibilities first. First you got to believe that their is hope for your son and then you will see positive results.

As for you mom....it might be a good idea for you to watch the Secret and practice thinking positive thoughts in order to get the results you want.

You can do it!!!
Keep the faith!!!

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K.B.

answers from New York on

My oldest son was diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety disorder at the end of 2nd grade. Those first few years of school were horrible, for all involved. I did put him on medication. He took Medadate CD. For him, it was the best decision. However, it took more than just medication. Have you had him tested at school too? Does he have an IEP or any other provisions at school? We had an extra set of textbooks at home for homework, since he always for got to bring them home. He had a planner to write all assignments in, that his teacher and I both signed each day, so we knew all work was getting done. Homework was a real struggle. I tried to keep it as simple as possible, and took lots of breaks. Sometimes that made homework time last 2 hours, but if it kept him from crying and me from yelling, it was worth it. In fourth grade, I put him in martial arts. That was well worth it. It taught him discipline and following through on something. This was also around the same time he came off of his medication. He is in sixth grade now, LOVES SCHOOL, and has been on the honor roll for the past two marking periods. This situation is very difficult and takes a lot of hard work. Make sure that the school is doing their part too.

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J.P.

answers from Rochester on

Hello J.,
You might want to look into your sons diet as well. Some food additives can cause similar symptoms as adhd. You can check out this website: http://www.feingold.org. I removed red dye #40 from my kids diet because it was causing them to be really moody. You'd be surprised. I did a test for a week. I took out everything with red dye 40 (you'd be shocked how much stuff I had to take away....). then after the week I gave them some kool aid and fruit snacks and they were right back to tantrums and moodiness. You might also want to give him more protein. It helps too.

I know what you mean about not wanting your child to struggle in school. My daughter and son both had/have the same issues. My daughter is in 3rd grade this year and started on meds over the summer before school started and I'm amazed at the difference. This is the first year where we have gotten the most amazing reports from the teacher. My son goes in for his evaluation in a couple weeks.

I hope you find the right solution for you and your son.
Blessings,
J.

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K.S.

answers from Glens Falls on

my son was just tested after 8 years of hell. he is on meds now and what a change. he is great. his grades are better and his attidute is better. your ex needs to no it is better for your kids to be on meds. it will help him and you. just put your foot down. K.

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E.B.

answers from New York on

Take heart!

There are ways to deal with ADHD without medication, in fact BETTER ways.

Truth is, phsychs cannot explain what brings about ADHD, so they cannot actually help pinpoint an handling, just a way to tone it down, by dragging the child.
In reality, many symptoms now included in ADD/ADHD evaluations are symptoms of food allergies, low blood sugar, excessive sugar/refined carb consumption, lack of nutrients (particularly essential fatty acids and B vitamins) and some are simply normal children behaviors ("fidgeting" is hardly unusual oralarming in an active child).

The best course of action:
1. start cutting down on sugar immediately. There are books on baking with stevia, start implementing that, and also check out the book "Get the sugar out!" which helps you eliminate sugar from places it shoulnd't really be in the first place.
2. start supplementing his diet with fish oil. Carlson and Nordic Naturals make fruit-flavores fish oil capsules for children, so they don't taste fishy. These two brands also employ methods that guarantee purity so there's no risk of contaminants.
3. include more whole grains, gradually; refined grains tend to cause more of a blood sugar spike (and then a low)because of the low fiber. They are also very low in vitamins of the B group, which are vital for mood, stress and general mental clarity.
4. Avoid boxed and packed foods like macaroni and cheese, cake mixes (unless organic) and any strange looking drink (blue slurpies and gatorade) or snack foods (bright and colorful candy and chips), as they contain MANY food additives, which can be cause of food sensitivities. Organic chips are ok, but encourage him to snack on fruit that contain fiber or protein also, like fresh fruit (apples, pears and berries are great) and cheese from hormone-free, grass-fed cows.
5. Find a CRA practitioner or Kinesiologist in the area and get him tested for food allergies - you may br surprised what you find sometimes.

There are several books on eliminating ADD/ADHD without drugs, if you look on amazon you'll come up with a few:
"Dr. Bob's Guide to Stop ADHD in 18 Days ", "The A.D.D. Nutrition Solution: A Drug-Free 30 Day Plan", "The Myth of the A.D.D Child:50 Ways to Improve Your Child's Behavior and Attention Span Without Drugs, Labels, or Coercion" (this last one seems the most popular).

See, there is hope. This problem might have been a blesing in disguise.

I wish you and you family all the best!

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S.C.

answers from Elmira on

My 12 year old is diagnosied with ADHD/Bipolar. For most of his life I belived there was something more them him just being a "boy" going on. I expressed my concerns to teachers, doctors,and family members for years. I was often ignored and just told he's very active or he's just being a boy. Saddly problems just grew as he did. About 5th grade the school up and decided there was a problem. By this time he was becomeing very much out of control. It has taken over two years to get him properly diagnosed, on the correct meds, and find him the appropreate support. I belive that a mother knows when her child needs help. I recommend that you do not allow anyone to stop or hinder you for getting the help you belive your son needs. I think that the youger things are caught the easier it is for a child to deal with it. Also waiting for a crisis to arise with will make it so much harder to treat. I wish you the best luck.

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A.E.

answers from New York on

Medication always has side effects, probably that is why your ex is worried. Nevertheless, some times is the only remedy for the problem.

Have you read the book "The Myth of Laziness" by Melvin D. Levine? ADHD is awfully difficult to diagnose and there are other neurological problems that could be the cause of your son's frustration. It might give you a new perspective.

I assume you have fully checked sight and hearing first to be sure his lack of attention does not have a physical base. But, for instance, there are kids with perfect vision who cannot coordinate eye and hand, and for those, there are exercises.

I would believe there are exercises for ADHD, but the exercise way is always time consuming and you don't see results straight away. In some cases, all benefits are lost if training is interrupted before time, and you are back to step zero. So, it is not always viable, and, of course, not the preferred method for most doctors, who see as best the treatment most likely to be succesful in the sort term.

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A.M.

answers from Rochester on

WOW! You and your ex need to do what is best for your son and that sounds like it is to get him on some medication. I am married and we have a 6 year old son that we just had to put on meds for ADHD. I was in denial about this for over a year and had a heck of a year with him in school and at home with homework. Well, he was not succeeding in school and was probably going to have to spend next school year in 1st grade again, we put him on meds and he is succeeding like we knew he could. He sees it too. IT took a few weeks to get him on the correct dosage, but now we and him are sailing. The medication that he is on is Concerta 27mg. There are some side affects like all meds, but so far we have not seen anything that we cannot work with.
I would be happy to talk with you about this more.

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T.C.

answers from New York on

Hey there J.!

I am a 32 Year old single mom of a 6 year old boy. He was diagnosed with ADHD in October 2005. I have tried several different medications and I am finally glad to say that we have gotten it under control. My son is an honor roll student with a 98% average! He loves school now( which is not the way it went before diagnosis and medication). Before he was diagnosed he was 5 years old, in kindergarten, and believe it or not, he was asked to leave TWO different schools!!!!
I believe that I have made the best decision with having my son put on medication because HE is sooo much happier...as well as so am I. He is doing wonderful in school and he is much easier to handle. The medication that he is on now does wear off after a while and I can see him starting to get antsy allll over again, but with a set schedule/ritual set in place he has improved at least 95%!!!!
Please feel free to write me back I would be more than happy to help u in any way I can

T.

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J.L.

answers from New York on

Hi J.. My son is in second grade and is diagnosed with High Functioning Autism. He has several characteristics of ADD (which is commmon among children on the spectrum - so I am told). Anyway, I have a website that has a resource page with links to ADD information and/or organizations. You may want to take a look. www.specialneedsawareness.org is my website. If you have any information to add to my website just send me a message using the "contact" button at my website. I hope you find some answers soon, whether it's tonsils or ADD, not kowing is hard to deal with. There are several non-drug approaches to ADD from occupational therapy, computer programs etc.

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L.K.

answers from New York on

I agree with what Kristie B. said about getting an IEP from the school, and making sure they follow thru with it. The IEP should also address how his h/w is structured, or at least work with you to give you strategies on how to deal with h/w.
Also check out some Amazon.com for books on dealing with ADHD - there are a lot of good ones; perhaps the most popular is "Driven to Distraction" and anything written by Russell Barkley. Someone mentioned resources available thru UB - I imagine they are talking about University of Birmingham in Alabama.
It's best to try behavioral strategies before medication anyways. Then if you find that it still isn't working, you have a better argument against your ex. But hopefully behavioral strategies will be enough ....
Psychologists and Psychiatrists often disagree about medication for ADHD.

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K.T.

answers from Binghamton on

J.,
My mother used those same reasons to medicate me when i was in foruth grade. the medication helped in the beginning but over time I was told by my mother my drs and teachers that without the medication I would not be able to function in the adult world. Medication can be ok but only in moderation and make sure to talk to your son ( the meds I was put on gave me heart problems and made me depressed) the first few days he may freak out (the meds are basically speed.) shake and not want to eat.

I hope this has helped you, my intent was not to offend (if I have) it was only to give you the point of view of an adult who was medicated and all the problems that it created as I grew up.
Try a tutor instead of meds-use songs to help him learn. medication is not the only option. He can learn without it make it a game try rewards-if you learn all of your vocab you can have 3 scoops of ice cream (no thats not a bribe its a reward if you only do it when he earns it) try to help him with out meds they can lead to bigger problems down the road the mentality that a pill can make anything better.

I am sorry if I have rambled on, this is just a subject that I have much experience with and want other parents to understand what it is like for the child and now what I say is listend to and not brushed off as well being a kid.

please take this into consideration,
I really hope that this has helped in some way,

K.
I have been unmedicated for 4 years (I was medicated from 11-20).

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F.P.

answers from Albany on

I'm a special education teacher. Moany of my students had ADHD. Some were medicated and some were not. Medication is a temporary fix. Meds set up a child to depend on them to behave "normally." There are a lot of alternatives. Do some homework, google searches, visit the library, and talk to a special education teacher at your son's school for some help. Also, if you keep getting your son tested by the same psychologist, you will not know for sure if the test results are accurate or just a reflection of that psychologists oppinion. Go to another psychologist for the next test. But most of all no matter what some test says, your son is a human being. He is not some test case or a laboratory animal. Don't just let the psychologist or any doctor push drugs on your son because they don't know other methods. Do your homework and make your choice. Use the professionals as tools to help you, but ultimately it's your decision. And it's probably most helpful if you and Dad at least partly agree on what to do. Best of luck to you.

F.

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S.R.

answers from Binghamton on

I can't really help you too much, but my nephew is in the third grade and after many issues with concentration etc., he was evaluated for ADHA and his ped. concluded that he should be put on meds.
My sister is not a member, but
I am sure she would love to hear from you. Her e-mail is ____@____.com may be nice for both of you to comapre what both the boys are going through, and what meds they may both go on. Just tell her S., her sister let you know.. keep me up to date. And Good luck..

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C.B.

answers from Glens Falls on

Doctors are very eager to put children on medication these days. I know that doesn't sound right, but unfortunately it is. It's the same for adults. Everyone's just running around on pills, controlling their every emotion. Can't go one day without this pill or that pill. Not only is it an "easy" solution to problems (that often don't even exist), but doctors get paid every time they start a child on medication for ADD, or ADHD.. by the companies that make the medicine. Most kids diagnosed with this probably don't even have it, and are just kids being kids. There are groups you can join for support if your child has been diagnosed with it. Maybe he just needs some extra attention and help. I wouldn't rush with the medication.

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M.P.

answers from Albany on

Some kids do need medication to help them focus...and there is nothing wrong with medicating him if he really needs it. A moter of twins with Autism and ADHD once said to me "I always think 'How would I feel if I knew there was a medication out there that could help me function better and I couldn't have it?' Then I decided to medicate my boys."

However, as a special education teacher I can tell you that there are other things out there that can be tried first. In school, the teachers should have tried every possible teaching method to attempt to help him while he is in school. Often times allowing for many breaks, giving a secret signal for help, or a special behavior system will work. A behaviorist may be something that you can look into. Many times they will be provided by the school if you have a diagnosis for him from a doctor, or you can find them privately or through other organizations as well. I would talk to your doctor and your school and see what they suggest.

If you need more help, feel free to email me directly at ____@____.com luck!!

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T.M.

answers from New York on

Hi J.,
I read your post with a lot of interest. I teach first grade and what you are describing is a lot like what I see in my classroom each year. Mostly boys, especially at this young age, have a lot of difficulties in school. I'm sure it is tough for your son; he's getting older and now more is expected from him; academically and behaviorially. He is expected to sit and attend to activities for longer and longer periods of time. I'm sure that the frustration you feel is also felt by his teacher and him as well!
I don't know what to say about the differing opinions from the doctors you've consulted, or about the issues with your ex. But I can tell you that as a mom, you are in a great advantage over the teacher, who may have 25 kids in her room, plus your son. Kids with ADHD flourish under one on one attention. I know it must be hard for him to sit still at home to do his homework after sitting still at school, so modify it a little bit; finish one piece of math, or one piece of reading, just to start off slow. His teacher should understand. As his endurance and motivation start to grow, then you can give him more. It sounds like in addition to his own difficulties, he is getting discouraged about school. One of the things about starting with smaller HW assignments is that he will feel successful at school work, which right now is a big obstacle.
Another trick that a behavior specialist taught me at a workshop I went to years ago is to give children with ADHD something to manipulate with their hands while they are working on something or need to sit still. One of those squishy stress balls might work at school, for him to hold and play with while he's writing or something. Just make sure he understands that when his teacher says to put it away, he does, and that he knows when it is appropriate and in appropriate to use it. It may help with some of his wigglies.

I hope i've given you some ideas! You can always message me for some moral support.
T.

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M.S.

answers from New York on

I have a twelve year old girl with very high end add, I have never medicated her.
this is not the easy choice but I was unwilling to subject my child to the side effects of medication that they know of and esp the ones they dont know of yet with the newer drugs
I give my daughter a cup of coffee before school I use celestial seaseons sleepytime tea to help mellow her out
I keep her very organized with her room, clothes, school work.
I pick my battles very carefully. she recieved spcial services in school i have her IEP modified to a science one modification is the school provides me with a set of her text books to keep home minimizing what she needs to remember to stay focused and eliminating "forgetting" her homework.
There are so many things you can do to help him out.
the main thing is i have to accept that my daughter has this disablity and expect cetain behavior and condiser it normal for her
Ive even developed a sense of humor about it
I am grateful this is her biggest problem because hearing of children with brain tumors and other horrid things help me keep in persective that this is not the wost thing in the world
My daughter has learned to adapt also becuase children have a natural need to be accepted by thier peers so they can modify thier own behavior to a degree
I think you will find that if you simplify things for him life will get easier
good luck

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