Addendum to Previous Question About Sleep

Hi J., I'm suggesting a book called Good Nights. This book is against the cry it out method! Dr. Ferber (the creator of the method) says in this book that he wishes he never created that method based on new research. I love the book and wish every new mom had a copy! Good luck!

The No Cry Sleep Solution is great as is The Sleep Book by Dr Sears. NEITHER of them favor leaving a child to cry it out. They promote gentle, intuitive parenting techniques which is good. Listen to your instincts about CIO. Allowing a child to CIO can raise their heartrate and breathing rate to dangerous levels. Additionally, it fills their body with stress hormones which makes sleeping difficult. Giving them positive associations with sleep (nursing down, snuggling down, rocking to sleep, etc) helps them to feel positive about sleep and not to feel anxious. Babies cry to express to you that they have a need! Don't worry. You can't spoil a child by meeting his or her needs.

Good luck!

I loved 'good nights' by dr jay gordon. It didn't recommend cio, but did help. Good luck!
R.

Hi - the Ferber book was very good and they really explain the "cry it out" method which actually isn't "a leave the child alone to cry himself to sleep" method at all!
We ended up doing a modified Super Nanny version, with our sitting by the crib with our hand on his back, then no hand but still sitting close, then progressively scooting farther and farther away until we were in the hall! Check out Dr. Ferber from the library, you might get some insight, also check the archives here at MamaSource - yours is a typical question!
Good Luck!

I recommend getting them both and going with what feels the best for you. I bought "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" first and tried that (I was really against CIO at first). We tried it for a couple of weeks, but it didn't work great for us. Maybe I wasn't consistent enough, or patient enough. The methods in that book do take time. Then I bought "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" and the Ferber book. It's good to get different perspectives. In the end, I really ended up liking "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child". I still refer to it now and then (my son is 26 months). I used a modified CIO approach when my son was about 9 or 10 months old. It worked quickly for us (a couple of days) and now my son is a wonderful sleeper (10-11 hours at night and one 2-3 hour nap). Good luck!

Hi J.!

I loved Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It does encourage CIO, but he does also address other methods of soothing to sleep (he refers to them as Method A and Method B). He really focuses on a healthy routine for naps/nighttime sleep and how much time babies can spend awake before they become overstimulated (making sleep difficult). Personally, we started with soothing our child to sleep, but when it was taking up to 2 hours for her to fall asleep at night, that wasn't good for us as parents or as a couple! We did kind of the Ferber thing - gradual extinction, some would call it. We continued to go in at regulated intervals to pat her so she would know she wasn't alone. Whatever you decide to do, just be consistent, that is the real key. :) There are many different methods, and not one of them is right or wrong, it's just what works for you and your little one. I do want to point out one thing...people who are very against CIO often discuss the elevated heart rate and agitation that comes. Yes, my daughter was definitely agitated when she cried...but it was 2 nights of crying for a total of less than 45 minutes. She was pretty quick, but the average is 3-4 days. She still definitely knew we loved her, and we made a big deal about getting her up with great big smiles when it was morning. She goes to sleep very easily now after a little playing around in her crib. She often fusses before bed now at 16 months...but because she's anxious to get in bed with her blankie! ;)

Remember, kids are resiliant! if you try a method and it doesn't work, change it! just be consistent with whatever you are trying out. They respond to consistency just like we do.

Good job mama, for trying to do what's best for your babe's sleep habits!

~R.

PS - what did you do for your 3 year old? Are you happy with how she is sleeping now? Yes, it is true that every child is different by nature, but "nurture" plays a part too. If you are pleased with her sleep now, maybe try something similar with your son...just a thought. If you aren't, maybe change it up! :)

I would read and try whatever and see what works for you. If this is not working for you or taking too long- I would try the cry it out strategy. He really just needs to learn how to soothe himself- if you can accomplish that another way- that is awesome.

Also, my site, www.lullabyluna.com focuses on different areas related to sleep each month...

June- Travel and Sleep
July- Parents and Sleep
August- Pregnancy and Sleep
September- School-Age and Sleep and Naps
October- Sleep Routine and Sleep Environment
November- Preparing for the New Baby

Etc.

I also have some recommended reading on it as well.

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child is a good foundational sleep book.

Good Luck!

C., mother of 3, sleep consultant, sleep blog writer www.lullabyluna.com

I enjoyed Tracy Hogg's "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer." She does not advocate crying it out and her method does take some persistence, but it is respectful of the child - and if your child is not too ingrained in poor sleeping habits, it doesn't take very long to implement. My son was 8.5 months old and I realized he needed help. It took a couple of weeks, but he finally was able to fall asleep on his own without crying.

The 'Sleep Easy' solution book from www.sleepyplanet.com is GREAT!!! It does a cry-it-out method in the least painful way possible but WORKS!!! This was a miracle for us and for every one we've lent it to. Plus, it come with a DVD, which is so great because you get to watch them sleep train three or four other babies of all ages and see exactly what to do and what not to do, especially if you enter the room. It was WONDERFUL! My husband still says it is the best money we ever paid! Good luck to you!

Our company is a supplier of Parenting media. We look at everything out there and check with educators and parents to ensure what we represent is the best resource in relation to any given aspect of parenting. In relation to sleep problems, no one was higher recommended than J. Waldburger and Jill Spivak.

You might want to try their Sleepeasy Solution DVD. They have book of same title, but the DVD lets you and your husband watch and discuss it together and it takes way less time to watch the DVD than it does reading the book. Big difference seeing how to deal with sleep issues rather than reading about how to deal with sleep issues.

DVD also comes with a booklet with outlines, quick reference points and a sleep log, so you don't sacrifice the ability to quickly look up a key point if needed.

DVD is in stock at Barnes & Noble stores or you can order from theparentingspace.com If you decide to purchase thru this site, enter THANKS25 in the coupon box during checkout and it will take 25% off the price.

They are also involved in the PBS TV show Jim Henson's Pajanimals that airs on Sunday evenings (I think it's PBS Kids Channel?). The show's purpose is to help kids comfortably and confidently want to go to sleep.

I hated Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child... made things worse for me in the long run. A lot of parents use it though, it just wasn't for me and my nugget.

The other book I said was good before is Good Night Sleep Tight By Kim West- the Sleep Lady. It is like what someone called the Supernanny version. It's for parents who can't do CIO.

Sounds like you have gotten tons of advice and have found several good books. The "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" book is very educational. But, yes, does favor cry-it-out.

I think that ultimately your approach has to be a combination of making an educated decision based on your reading, the personality of your child, your own personality, and your environmental situation (your own fatigue, the needs of siblings, etc.)

I used the "No Cry Sleep Solution" (or something similar) for my oldest daughter. It required patience and I had the help of my husband and nanny who were great back-patters too. But, with my youngest, I was too tired and was in the middle of potty-training her sister when the sleep difficulties started. And the little one is much more of a spit-fire. So, cry-it-out was the solution for her. I sort of let it happen accidentally and then realized that it was the right thing for her at the time. Different kids, different situations, different approaches.

Anyway, do your reading, but then go with your gut and use whatever works for you to enable ALL of you to get your rest! Good luck!