About 5-Year Old

Updated on January 05, 2011
M.M. asks from New York, NY
15 answers

my girl is 5 years old.I have promised to my daughter that I could tell her a story every morning. But she doesn’t eat breakfast in the morning. So I refuse to tell stories as punishment. But she is very angry… There are many examples in daily life. I feel sorry that didn’t keep my words. But I really don’t know how to deal with it.

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M.C.

answers from Minneapolis on

I hate breakfast, I usually have a snack around 10, my daughter doesn't like breakfast and usually has a snack/cereal around 10 with my...my son can't live without breakfast in the morning after he gets up. I don't think it is a reason to punish her, Also I never take away education benefits as a punishment. Reading is too beneficial to take away. take her favorite pajamas away before doing away with story time

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B.S.

answers from Saginaw on

Why do you force her to eat breakfast. My daughter is not a breakfast eater. I never was either, I am now but wasn't when I was a kid. I would get a sick stomach. Now I know if I wait until like 9-10am I can eat it without feeling ill.

I don't know if my daughter has the same issues, but I don't force her to eat. Once in awhile she will grab something to go, like a pop tart in the car.

FYI, if you still feel like punishment is in order. Why not choose another form of punishment than not reading a book to her. A. You promised. B. You never stated that was the terms of reading the book. and C. There are lots of positive reasons reading a book to her is a good thing.

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D.M.

answers from Denver on

I agree - I wouldn't force the breakfast issue if she isn't hungry and is at a healthy weight etc. I like the idea of reading to her while she's eating her breakfast - or maybe make her a smoothie to drink?

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J.B.

answers from Phoenix on

Why force her to eat? My DS doesn't want breakfast until 9-10, just his schedule. Pick your battles, why fight over it if she isnt hungry. And if you feel punishment is needed always make sure the punishment fits the act. for example if you dont eat your meal, no snacks, water only to drink etc. Reading should have no bearing on eating...IMHO

I would read to her even if she doesnt want to eat

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S.H.

answers from Detroit on

could you read her a story at the table, while she eats her breakfast? My 5 year old daughter is not a big breakfast girl either, but reading to her at the table while she eats is very effective for us. Did you set up any parameters when you told her you would read to her every morning? Instead of using that as a punishment, just leave out her breakfast until she claims to be hungry, then have her eat. Use no snacking between meals a punishment... or nothing to drink except water. My daughter is a terrible eater right now... these are the things we do... and we just take it day by day in the hopes that one day she will not be so picky and stubborn! I never used our daily bedtime stories as a punishment. I've wanted to, because she loves them so much... but reading to her is positive and ends the day on the right foot, regardless of my frustration. I think your morning reads can be the same thing... start the day on the right foot... you never know, she may be more willing to budge if you do!

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A.S.

answers from New York on

Have you tried offering to read the story while she is eating? If she stops eating stop reading. Don't say anything when you stop. If she asks why you stopped just say "You have to eat to get me to read...kind of like pressing the play button on an ipod or turning the tv on." Try to make it a game and try not to get frustrated. Just be matter of fact with her. Hope that helps.

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J.L.

answers from New York on

Have her pick out a book first. Then have her help prepare breakfast. Sit with her during breakfast and tell her how excited you are about reading the book, etc. Follow through and immediately read the book. Keep trying! Withholding reading from kids is not a good punishment for not eating. Take away something else!!

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K.J.

answers from New York on

I agree that she might not be hungry in the morning. I never eat breakfast. But if you think she's hungry, you might want to try reading to her while she eats.

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J.D.

answers from New York on

I agree. Start over. I wouldn't withold the story though, thats precious time between you two that one day she will not have the time for! My son doesn't eat breakfast all the time so if he at least drinks some milk I'm fine, that will get his metabolism going and at least put something in his tummy and then a little later he'll eat. I rarely make a big issue out of eating.

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M.B.

answers from Rochester on

M.,
Start over. Punishment doesn't work. Each day is a new start. Fresh. Give her stories - especially ones you make up! : ) My son loves the stories about the 'little boy who...' and then add a little smidge of behavior that is out of the question and how the little boy managed it.

There once was a little girl who had a LOVE to use her voice - loudly! Her friend, Jojo, was a fan of quietness. ...take it from there...

good luck,
M.

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M.M.

answers from Dallas on

Some people aren't breakfast eaters. I know a couple of my kid's friends just don't do breakfast.

I think it would be good on your part to begin telling her stories in the morning. Unless you told her from the beginning that if she didn't eat breakfast you wouldn't tell the story - you broke a promise in her eyes. Now, she may wonder what other promise you will break that is contingent on a behavior she may not know will take the promise away.

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M.M.

answers from New York on

Take a long hard look at ....this web site...google it I forgot it.....John DeMarco, Pompton Plains, NJ- he does child therapy, anger management, parenting coaching etc....I have gotten great results from a few sessions on how to not use the word punishment and to encourage my child to make good choices, I have a point system, we get 18 on Monday and if all is well, ie: eating breakfast today will earn you a story tomorrow, it will encourage her to know she has choices and can make good ones and get for lack of a better word rewards. My son is also angry about things- he lacks the sense to work through frustrations etc., he feels unheard and feels left out to name a few. I could go on with what I learned and how I use it, check out the web site, I hope it helps, it takes a couple of weeks to see a difference but there will certainly be one. Remember no punishment, give her choices, and consequences and let her know what the consequence will be for the poor action, that the action isn't acceptable not her and tell her you love her no matter what and hug as often as possible. Good luck. Mama Griffin

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E.G.

answers from New York on

Hi,
My daughter loves to cook and makes breakfast sometimes. She eats a little bit herself but is so proud of making fresh waffles with a waffle iron that it makes her want to eat. We sometimes put on nutella, sometimes pwdered sugar and bluberries or strawberries. We make them in the evening and feeze them too so all we need to do it put in the toaster. Make breakfast fun and get her excited about making it herself.
don't force it if she is not hungry. She'll eat when she is hungry. I think it isn't a good idea to get them used to eating when they are not hungry.
good luck.

M.L.

answers from Houston on

Maybe place the book on the table and remind her when she is done you will read. Be sure to use positive reinforcement. She will learn. It isn't that you aren't keeping your promise to her, your promise is based on what she will or will not do, so ultimately it's her decisions. You wouldn't be keeping your promise if she ate her breakfast and you didn't read the book. Help her understand the difference, that her actions cause consequences.

If she has anger issues, then help her work through them. Reading is still important though, so if you miss the morning book, then at least do one at bedtime.

This link has some expert advice on helping an angry child:
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T061700.asp

L.A.

answers from Austin on

My daughter does not like eating breakfast in the morning and neither do I.

I do not think you should punish her, she cannot help it.. Instead, have HER decide what she can eat, if she has to be at school in the morning.. Our daughter would sometimes, just have a small glass of fresh squeezed juice.

Since they eat lunch so early in kindergarten she was fine with that.

Later when she went to middle school, they went to school a little later, so she could tolerate a small homemade smoothie.. About 6 ozs.. She is in college now and she says she still does not eat in the mornings.. She just cannot tolerate it..

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