A Very Stubborn 3 Year Old

Updated on November 13, 2009
M.A. asks from Kingsport, TN
10 answers

My son is 3 years old and is the most stubborn eater. He will eat Chicken Nuggets, french fries, mashed potatoes, grilled cheese, anything with chocolate, mac and cheese. My husband and I have been trying to get him to at least try veggies or fruit, but we can't get him to do so. Our daughter on the other hand is the best eater. She will try anything.
When my son is at school, his teacher can get him to try anything and even use the potty (thats another story.) But she is the only one he will do it for. I am at my wits end because I don't know what else to do. Please Help!!!!

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B.L.

answers from Jacksonville on

He has you wrapped around his finger. You'll have to untrain him, which will be long and painful. I recommend reading John Rosemond. His Six Point Plan for Raising Happy Healthy Children is full of ideas. You can find it cheap on amazon, or probably at the library.

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T.C.

answers from Lexington on

I have a FANTASTIC daughter, but I can honestly say, "been there, gone through that" with many things I see on mamasource! And Yet, here we are a happy family and she is a THRIVING soon to be 5 yr old!
First bit of advice that is hard to swallow for the parents (no pun intended) is to just lay off him on what he does and does not eat. Stop making an issue about it. We came to ralize that we (me & my hubby) were the ones creating tension at dinner, not our daughter refusing to eat whatever we wanted her too. The best thing you can do is make sure the chicken nuggets he is eating is the healthiest version you can find, forget the veggies, at this age you are just causing grief over an issue that will resolve itself later. If you are worried about his vitamin intake get him Flinstone multi vitamin with iron. I also give my daughter Veggie/fruit gummy vitamins, you can find these just about anywhere. Eventually I started making fresh, homemade chicken nuggets (which we all love) and switching up mac and cheese to cheesy noodle mixes..onto rice mixes. I let my daughter help to pick them out at the grocery store, that seems to help give her back some control for herself.
The thing we as parents have to come to term with is, we can't compare our kids to each other and we can expect our little ones to see the importance of things we worry about in regards to them.
Your son is trying to assert himself, be his own person and the only way he can remotely do this is by refusing foods, potty issues and eventually, refusing to wear what you want him too or complaining about the tags in his clothes or that they are itchy...
I can tell you are a good parent because you are on here asking for advice to help your child.
Let go alittle and let him run. If he falls, he will pick himself back up.
Good Luck!

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

.

2 moms found this helpful
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J.T.

answers from Louisville on

I agree with the other mom, you are the one that will set his health and his future eating habits, so start now! Trust me, him going to bed hungry one or two nights is not torture, or even traumatic, it does however, teach him that if he wants to eat he will eat what mommy makes. So often we as parents are taught that to keep our children's mental health strong, we have to be kind, not let them cry ever, and keep them happy. All this does is make us insane, and cause us to raise spoiled rotten children!! I'm still too nice to my own kids but i'm learning that they will be ok if I say NO!! They'll get over it just like I did when my mother used that word. The one time my children had to go to bed hungry, the next night they cleaned the plate, veggies and all. I wish you the very best and hope this helps a little. Another thought....we have children on blood pressure medication because parents aren't more stubborn about their eating habits and activity. Activity alone doesn't fix the problem either, good eating habits do! Take care sweetie!

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S.T.

answers from Nashville on

Talk to the teacher and see what she does different. It sounds like he is just getting away with what he can from Mom! Good luck and God Bless.

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J.L.

answers from Nashville on

Hi M.,

My pediatrician told us to never make a seperate dinner for your child. Always serve what you make to everyone, no exceptions. He said the child will not starve to death if he misses a meal. They will eventually eat. It will be harder on you than them, you just have to stick to your guns. You have to make them eat a little of everything you serve. It is your responsibility, you are the boss.

Sorry to say, but chicken mcnuggets and french fries are probably as unhealthy as it gets if that is your childs regular diet.

I do understand, my first child wouldn't eat anything but chunky vegetable soup when she was 2, I feel guilty to this day for feeding her a can of metal and sodium everyday for lunch and she is now 8. I followed his advice and it did work. She soon loved all her veggies and fruits.

Good luck and stay tough.

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A.M.

answers from Asheville on

Stop feeding him Chicken Nuggets, french fries, mashed potatoes, grilled cheese, anything with chocolate, mac and cheese. Or at least only have a very, very small portion of his comfort food and the rest something else he needs to try. He will not starve himself and will eventually get hungry enough to try. It may take days or weeks. Again, he will not starve and you are not mean by doing it. On the contrary, you will be doing him a favor by building his palette up to healthier foods. The rest of the family needs to follow suit and be strong and firm in limiting their intake of his favorites. Also, during these meal times he should only drink water, not milk or juice or sweetened drinks. If you feel he must have milk then do it as a snack between meals and only one cup, otherwise he can fill his belly up on drink.

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L.J.

answers from Lexington on

Don't fight him on it. Just give him the same food everyone else is eating and let him eat what he wants. You can pull some tricks, though, like grating carrots so finely you can hide them in the mashed potatoes.

Don't try to get him to eat anything. Have the food available. He'll eat what he needs. And when he's older, if he still insists on eating something else, he can make it himself. (That's what I did with my oldest.)

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E.M.

answers from Louisville on

you buy the food. hes 3!!!! you are letting him be in charge. dont make the junk food hes old enough to know that if he doesnt eat whats in front of him he doesnt eat. dont starve him but dont give in. make healthy chicken, sweet potatoes veggies ect. mix veggies in things like meat loaf and spaghetti sauce. good luck!

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A.R.

answers from Knoxville on

Stop feeding him "Chicken Nuggets, french fries, mashed potatoes, grilled cheese, anything with chocolate, mac and cheese". Give him what you are eating and don't give up. Your child will not starve. At least that is what most Ped doctors will tell you. All of those foods he likes sound like the things we eat at my house for treats. My child hates vegetables but I make her eat some before she leaves the table every night. Last night she said the more I eat vegetables the more I think I like them. I was so happy!!!!! That only took me three years to accomplish. LOL!!

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