A Super Head Strong 2 Year Old Girl of Grandma

Baby proof the house, put everything out of sight that you do not want her to have-close doors to rooms-limit her world- and then, don't leave the house. If you're saying that every time you take her to a store, she has a tantrum, and you know she will, why would you take her to a store? That reinforces the behavior. If you cannot outwit a two year old, you need to get an assistant or a replacement. I know it is not easy, I have Grandsons, but it is possible.

Don't take her shopping, grandma. She's playing you but good. Your 14 year old is old enough to watch her at home after school while you run out to do errands. You CANNOT hurt your back over this child. If you do, you can't take care of ANYONE in your family.

If for some reason you have to take her out, make sure she has had a nap and a snack beforehand, and take your 14 year old with you. If she pulls this stuff, the 14 year old needs to grab her up but good and you two march her out to the car and let the 14 year old strap her into her carseat. Then stand outside the car while she cries. Once she stops crying, ask her "Are you ready to behave?" Then take her back in and try again.

Quite frankly, I don't think you should take her anywhere that doesn't have a cart to strap her in.

I hope that you are sending her to her room at home when she is misbehaving. If taking her toys away and timeouts don't work, put her in her room for at least 10 minutes. Do it all day long until she gets the message that you aren't going to give in and let her run your house. The other thing you can do is to put her toys in timeout AS WELL as putting her in her room. When she starts losing so many of her toys, and when she no longer has you but is alone when she does stuff she's not supposed to do, she will start to learn.

Right now she is in the middle of the terrible two's and her brain will have to develop into understanding that she has to obey you. The ONLY way she will learn this is if you are 100% consistent. That means all the time, grandma. It might drive you bonkers, putting her in her room all the time, but you must do it if you want her to grow into obeying you. You need to get your 14 year old into the groove with this. Have a word that you use with her so that there's no conversation, and she just picks the little girl up and deposits her in her room. If the child keeps opening the door and coming out, put a latch way up on the outside of the door to keep her from coming out. And don't talk to her from outside the door. She needs to feel alone. If she wants to be with you, she has to behave. She will learn if you stick with it.

Good luck!

That's a two yr old. She doesn't understand or empathize with a bad back, so that's your problem to solve about how to disapline and contain her while protecting yourself. I suspect right now you are trying the same things that you did when you were young and able bodied.

The other ladies have good ideas:

1. Always use a cart or stroller to contain her in a store.
2. Put your shopping off till someone else can watch her.
3. Make sure you use a car seat every time you are out. If shes pitching a fit, you can put her in it and wait till the fit is over.
4. Make sure she is not tired or hungry when you want to do something out. They break down easy if you don't. Bring a snack.

Sorry you are having such a hard time. That's why kids are for the young!
It's unfortunate that you can't just have her occasionally and really get to enjoy her. But with some changes in your routine, you can make allowances for your health and find way to thrive. Good luck.

Don't take her shopping for a few years.
Either Grandpa (or the 14 yr old) can watch her at home while you shop or he can do the shopping while you watch her at home.
Some kids terrible 2's /terrible 3's are really something terrible and you just can't deal with them like you did your own kids when you were raising them.
This means avoiding taking her to places and putting her in situations where you will have trouble handling her if she pitches a fit.
She'll grow out of it eventually.

I highly, highly, highly recommend something called ABA therapy. my oldest son was like that, and we applied the ideas of ABA and stopped having problems. when he was with other people who did not use the same techniques, he would be a crazy person, but with us he never was. check out out... just type ABA into a search engine like Google. it may come up as a therapy for autistic kids, but trust me, the principles are awesome fir every kid. and adult, for that matter.

This is all very typical behavior of a 2yr old. She doesn't understand or remember your bad back during a tantrum it's beyond her age development level to have empathy & associate this at 2, heck my 4yr still has trouble with this. You need to do what you need to do for your health. Engaging her in a positive way or redirecting her typically works best for kids of this age. Time outs are still tough to understand but every kid is different.

She is a typical 2 year old throwing a tantrum. What is different is that you physically cannot pick her up and walk out of the store so you have to be more creative. You could put her directly in a stroller at the car containing her before you enter. Many stores have a cart return in the parking lot to strap her into the cart before entering. I would not allow her at this time to run through stores until she is under verbal control. All of this does mean that you will limit for the time being the places you go, but she will grow out of this stage. At home I would just ignore tantrums and let her throw herself.
Be sure to reward good behavior and that good behavior will increase.

She is too young to understand about your bad back but does get that you she can have control by throwing herself. Make sure that her tantrums do not get her what she wants. Enlist the 14 year old or grandpa to help when you must go places she can't be contained.

Grandma, be patient, this little one will grow up also.

Put her little hiney in the basket when you walk in the door. You're the grown up, put her in and walk on. If she tries to get out put her in the top part and strap her in. If she tries to kick you while walking pull the basket as you walk by the side. If she continues to kick, scream, and throw a temper tantrum just ignore her and if you must say something be as calm as possible, listen to her then say it's time to calm down. If she gets going again then just get your shopping done but do NOT give in to her to get her to be quiet. We have all been there. We ALL know what it's like to teach a child they have to mind. It's time consuming and embarrassing at Walmart but it happens.

Have someone on had to take her to the car when she doesn't mind or has a temper tantrum.

Leave her with a babysitter she hates. Tell her that she is going to XX's house so they can babysit her while you go shopping. That she did (name specific behaviors she did last time) and you choose to have fun while shopping and are not taking her with you. Let her know it's her choices that are sending her to the babysitter.

Have mom enroll kiddo in Mother's Day Out at least 1 day per week. There are usually options of 1, 2, or 3 day's per week. We have 2 different ones. One has M, W, and F from 10am-3pm. The other one is open on T and TH from 9am-noon. So there are options. This will give you time during the day to go shopping, go to the doc, take a nap, go do stuff with friends, etc...it isn't all that expensive and she can pick the days she goes.

Be firm. Have treats in your pocket to give to the 14 year old in order to reinforce your tough love.

You're going to have to change your schedule since you can't pick her up when you are out and about. Sounds like typical 2yr old behavior.