Question was answered...thank you Moms!!
She's in HS now - not middle school. I wouldn't worry about it. If you respect the man - that should be enough for her.
It's not like he's coming over every night or becoming a step-father!!
Wait... he's not a teacher at her HS right, so it's not like she would have to explain to her friends why he is at her house in the evenings.
I think that it is absolutely fine to invite this person who is now becoming a friend over for dinner. If she doesn't want to join you, then she can say hello, have a few minutes of "what are you up to now" chit-chat and then she can excuse herself to go to a friends house.
My vote is for the "crazy teen" behavior option.
absolutely invite him! Your daughter needs to expand her horizons....
Maybe he was socially strict in class and now that she's in HS, may not want a reminder? Why not have her leave for a friends the night you want him over for dinner? Also - point blank ask her if something was wrong with her time as a student with Mr. Smith. It is probably crazy teen behavior - but always good to make sure.
From the way your letter was going I though you were a single mom and you were going to ask about dating the guy, in which case I could see the issue. But friendship? Totally fine. Invite him over, she'll get over it.
My mom's dearest friend was a middle school teacher and then became my high school guidance counselor. We got together with them quite often, and in the end, she became my mentor and role model in life. Had my mom not befriended her because it would be weird for me to see her at school (which your daughter won't even have to do), I would have missed out on a very important person in my life! I suggest inviting him over. There is no reason your daughter should have an issue with this, and if she does, then she can eat dinner with you all and excuse herself from the rest of the evening.
My parents were friends with almost all my teachers when I was in elementary school. It was fine. Yes, there were some "weird" moments, but it made life easier in the long run to remember that people from "school" and people from "work" and people from "church" and people from "the gym" might all run into me at the same time, and THAT'S OKAY. Otherwise, our lives can seem segmented.
I can see her point. Kids don't want to tell their friends that were hanging out with a teacher outside of school.
If you are talking about inviting him over for a small family type dinner, then yes that would be odd for her. However, if you are having a party or a picnic and invite him, that shouldn't be too bad.
M.
another crazy teen behavior!! invite him over & she should be there for the dinner but then maybe she can have the option of doing her own thing after she clears the dinner table...makes me wonder if she would stick around a bit
btw what a great thing you did for your cousin & by you befriending this teacher too will show your daughter that you are kind and generous to all
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I now have a ton of best friends that were our daughters teachers. I even went on an out of town trip with the librarian with my mother and another friend. We did things with them and their families all of the time. Still do.
We even went to visit one of her teachers that had moved out of town and stayed over night in her home.. One teacher lived down the street from our inlaws and attended our daughters birthday parties.
Even the Principals, the coaches. Wow now that I think about it I've been out drinking with lots of them too. (this was after our daughter graduated) Hee, hee,
Our daughter is now in college and next spring when she graduates, I have teachers AND their families that want to attend and she is out of state!
If your daughter is uncomfortable, I guess she will miss out, but it should not stop you from being friends with them.
When I was young, I remember thinking teachers lived at school. It never occurred to me they had families! Or that they had fun....
You are the parent of a teenager, EVERYTHING you do offends them. Have him over on a night your daughter has other plans.
I think I would ask her more questions about this. She's having a really strong reaction to this, so there may be an underlying issue that she has with this teacher. Would she react this way if it was a different teacher? Food for thought...
Ha! Teenagers...go figure. Like Lynn said, everything offends them or everything we do is weird.
He is a friend, have him over.
Sounds creepy-take him out to dinner if you want-or have him over with arrangements to have teen daughter somewhere else.
how would you feel if your mominvited your teacher over for dinner at that age its just wierd like she said sweet on your part i think you can teach her some empathy by doing it and it would be fun to aggitate her :)
I had a Spanish Teacher who my whole family was close with. My mom and Grandma were really close with her, all of my sisters and I were. My oldest sister was probably the closest with this teacher. We went on a vacation/learning to Mexico and Acapulco with her, first my oldest sister and grandma. My middle sister and I went with her on a separate one. So I don't think it's weird or even at the time if my mom would have invited her over for dinner. I even remember going to her house a few times.
I think it is confusing to have a teacher former or not in your own personal space. I would try to respect her feelings as much as possible with out letting her rule the roost. Think about it ... would you like it if your mother invited your former boss over for dinner?
I think she is being silly. My parents were friends with some of my teachers and DH's parents were as well (his mom had been a teacher). It's not like he's going to be her friend, he (and his partner?) are going to be your friend(s).
I think you should ignore it, I think she's just being an irrational teenager. He isn't even at her school anymore.
My parents were friends with a lot of my teachers when i was in high school because they were very active in the PTA and also went to the same high school years before (some of their teachers were still there and they even became friends with them).
I guess it was a little weird but I understood they were entitled to befriend whoever they wanted. Your daughter should respect this too.
Go ahead and invite him. If he were her current teacher I would have a different answer, but this is a past teacher. No reason not to invite him.
