A Plea for Help for All Mom Who Have Nursed

L., you have nursed longer than a lot of moms do. I know you like nursing and you want to continue, but your baby deserves to be fed. Supplementing is not a failure on your part. It is taking care of your baby. Only 2 pounds growth in 3 months is not to be ignored, and instead of feeling bad that you can't nurse enough to sate him, be grateful for the ability to supplement. Not only does he not grow enough without adequate breast milk and formula, but his brain won't grow enough as well.

Please offer this baby additional ounces after you nurse. Instead of looking at the nursing as his primary nutrition now, see it as a form of bonding between you two, and top him off with formula after each breastfeeding session.

You might feel like a failure in your heart and know in your head that it isn't true, but you will have to get past this for your son's benefit and development and push the formula. To do otherwise while he is gaining such a small amount and not wetting his diapers WOULD be a failure. Don't love your breastfeeding so much that you deprive him, L..

Dawn

i nursed for 2 years and the thing i learned aftyer putting to much pressure on myself was RELAX. if you have to switch to formula go for it. dont feel bad.
in 2 years you're going to look back and wonder "why did I stress so much? I shouldve switched to formula and enjoyed him more instead of worrying."

you can still nurse as much as he;d like without worrying. I vote for increase formula and get a glass of wine. By the way my doctor said a glass a day would actually relax M. and encourage milk to be produced. I didnt take his advice but i wish i did=)

I believe that sometimes your body is just done. You have lots of good advice is you want to keep trying. I also think you can stop breastfeeding, and move on to formula. Don't feel guilty if you stop breastfeeding. :)

You are telling your body you don't need to provide more.

If you want to build your supply, wean from formula. http://kellymom.com/bf/got-milk/basics/decrease-formula/

Even though he is older, your body still provides the type of milk he needs. The fat content will get higher, even if he takes in the same amount.

Try eating oatmeal, drinking to thirst, and nursing as often as possible. If one breast is an underachiever, then go with the one that works.

Oh, and consider a pregnancy test.

This is what worked for M. to increase milk when I felt my son wasn't getting enough.
Pump for 10 mins after nursing. You may not get anything much , but this gives your body a signal to increase milk production. Do this for 2-3 days and you will see that you have more milk. It's demand and supply.
if you are only pumping and not nursing , then continue for 10 more mins after the milk stops on each side.
Also drink lot of water and get some rest. Stress can affect your milk supply for sure.
You have nursed for 9 months , that's a long time. Don;t be too hard on yourself, your baby will be fine :)

I would see what you can do to increase the number of times he nurses directly from the breast. I understand that you work during the day, but you don't mention if you nurse him in the morning before work/daycare? That is a great time to nurse and then pump off any extra afterwards. I always had extra milk after the morning nursing session. Also, is there anyway the daycare can try to time his feedings so that you can nurse him right after you pick him up? I know it won't always work out exactly, but if they need to give him a little something before you get there maybe it could only be a couple ounces to tide him over until you can nurse. I would also nurse BEFORE he gets his solids for dinner, instead of "topping him off with nursing" try nursing first and then "topping him off with solids". Breastmilk should still be his primary source of nutrition and calories, so nurse first. Does he only take two bottles at daycare? You should be pumping as close to his feeding schedule as you can. If he takes three bottles then you should pump three times (this also makes scheduling to feed him right after pick up easier). I know you mentioned you get less when you pump three times, how long did you do it for? It may take a couple days to adjust, but I can't imagine at the end of a week pumping consistently 3 times at work that you would still be coming home with less. How close is work to daycare? Any possibility that you could nurse him over your lunch hour?
In the end, if you have done all you can to increase/maintain supply and you still feel supplementing is necessary then supplement. It is not the end of the world...sad -- yes, but it will be okay. I would not switch completely to formula unless you really wanted to (and it doesn't sound like you do). Work hard to maintain some degree of nursing for as long as you and baby want. There is no reason you can't do a little of both until you are ready to wean. My daughter (2nd of 4 babies I nursed to one year) was about 10 months when I needed to start sending an occasional bottle of formula when I had not been able to pump enough. And I still nursed her to a year. (She and my 4th baby were less than 20 lbs at a year and they are doing great, your baby sounds fine). Do your best and then supplement if necessary, and make sure to relax a little and enjoy your time with him.

First of all, relax! Stress is another factor in milk production and the more you stress about how much milk you can pump the less you will get! Have a picture of your son to look at and/or a blankie of his that smells like him to hold when you are pumping. This will tell your brain to release all those hormones like oxytocin which help you make milk. It sounds like your son is healthy and doing well! It is normal for his weight gain to slow down as he gets older and more mobile; even tummy time and grabbing at toys burns lots of calories! Is he on solid foods yet? Having some solid foods might make him full enough that he won’t even need the formula. Try feeding him foods that are high in protein and healthy fats (mashed chicken, avocado, egg yolks) babies that are fed meat at 6+ months have higher iron levels so don't be afraid to feed him some! I have used the mother's milk tea, but I later found out that the active ingredients are so dilute that it really doesn't do much, and if you hate the flavor then I say just don't drink it! It is always harder to get as much milk when you pump versus when your baby nurses, that is totally normal. I have a friend who pumped exclusively for a year and her trick was to use liquid tinctures of fenugreek and blessed thistle. She bought them at a health food store I think and she SWEARS by them, they are more concentrated and powerful than the pills. You are a rock star mom! I don’t think I could work full time and breastfeed, I had a hard time just going to school part time or working part time when I was breastfeeding. You are doing so much for your son; you should feel good about it! Best of luck!

One more thing, you say that his morning diapers are pretty dry, my babies had pretty dry diapers first thing in the morning too, but then they would suddenly pee like crazy about 10 minutes after they got up, I learned to wait to change them. Now that they are big kids we have never had a bedwetting incident, ever! They just don't pee when they are asleep. So maybe your son is starting to do that too.

Okay... I have nursed 2 babies for over a year and am now nursing my 3rd, and I always have toooons of milk! Listen, your baby is 9 months old. He is also eating solids, so not all of his nutrition is coming from your milk. Supplementing with formula is only going to decrease your supply more. Once your child starts eating solids, weaning begins, so you want to nurse/pump only if you want to continue since supply will naturally go down a bit at this age. My pedi told me to also supplement, and I didn't... and guess what, my milk supply increased and my pedi was shocked at how much my baby's growth improved!

So, if you want to supplement with formula to be sure he is getting enough milk, do it by mixing it into his food, but not to replace a nursing. The more you nurse, the more you produce.

As for the mother's milk, try some honey! I cannot stand tea, or black licorice. So, I mix yucky teas in my oatmeal instead of using water or I pour it in my soup! It helps me anyways. Also, fenugreek capsules, blessed thistle and brewers yeast tablets can also help increase your milk supply.... as can oatmeal and Mother's Milk tea.

I've read that garlic pills and yeast pills help. Go to your local health food store, here we have Henry's and they had a book out that you could reference. How to increase lactation? Was in the one I read. It listed all sorts of options on which pills would help.

I've also heard that if you have your husband stimulate your nipples that will help. He can suck on them or just play with them. Hey, some guys like breast milk. I had a friend who's husband used to use it in his coffee as creamer. Lol

I know how you feel though. I tried pumping with what was by consumer standards the best breast pump and I was pumping an ounce or less of formula. Basically starving my son for the first week. I had known that this might happen since I had had a breast reduction years prior, but I had also heard of moms were successfully breast feeding after their reductions. Thankfully I knew to keep a close eye on this with the possibility I may not be successful. I can only imagine how you feel not knowing this could happen, assuming you didn't have a reduction.

Also, my son would stay on my breast for long periods of time. He seemed ok after feeding, but he n fact wasn't. I think suckling made him think he was done and full, but in reality, he wasn't getting the milk he needed.

Best of luck to you. I hope this information helps.

Pump after every nursing and especially the early morning nursing. You will increase your supply that way. Drink at least 64 oz water a day and keep taking the fenugreek. Oatmeal does help ALOT. I eat it every day and notice a difference in my milk if i skip a day. Stress plays into it also---let it go. It will be ok.

if you are only feeding at night then your supply will decrease. I did that with my son from when he was 1 year til about 15 mos. I noticed that my body adjusted to the change and would produce more at night and he was content. Formula they say is more filling (look at the consistancy compared to breast milk) So either increase your pumping sessions during the day (but then you will be engorged if you are not feeding during the day) or pump after he is done at night to increase your supply then. Dont base your supply or what comes out with the pump. I also had one side that was a mass producer on the pump while the other would occasionally spurt.

I wouldnt listen to your dr. Kids weight does taper off but as long as he isnt losing weight i wouldnt be too concerned. Its not like he is a tiny baby. 17lbs at 9 mos is fine. Is he eating solids as well?

I don't know if anyone else has suggested this but I would suggest renting a hospital-grade pump. They work much more efficiently than the ones you can buy yourself, like the ones at Babies R Us. Believe me, I have tried both!!

Good luck!
LisaD

I'm a big believer in drinking a beer every day. Beer = fluid, calories and it has the added benefit of relaxing you.

Hon, to be very honest and frank, you sound almost afraid and full of fear and I simply wonder if it's just time to start weaning and you are having major rejection and separation from nursing issues?

I know that I did with my first baby. I was beyond sad when she quit nursing at 6 months. My 2nd two babies I nursed for a total of 5 years, but I was way more relaxed, because of the beer.

GREAT JOB! You are making a huge effort to keep this going.
You have tried a lot of things. The only thing I didn't see is talking to a laleche leage person. They have mentor moms, I believe. I am sorry that the hospital consultants weren't very helpful.

I don't have any great ideas but I wanted to tell you what a great thing you are doing. There isn't a hard number for how many ounces of fluid you consume to produce X ounces of milk; women's bodies are so different. One thing that could help is taking a couple of days off of work (probably not realistic since probably took maternity time to have the baby) to spend more time actually breastfeeding; this could increase your demand/supply. If things don't work out, remember that you have done a very valuable thing for your baby and 9 months is longer than many women can breastfeed.

La Leche League is a free support group for breastfeeding moms and they are AMAZING! I never would have made it through those first few weeks without their support. Here's a link for your area:
http://www.lllohio.org/groups/cincinnati.html
You can call one of the group leaders and get advice over the phone, but I suggest you go to a meeting if at all possible, you'll get so much advice and support.
And of course you're not a failure, we can't always control what our bodies do!

I don't want to break your heart my at 9 months my supply decreased as well. I am one of the unlucky ones who still got her cycle while pumping so I thought it was just time for my cycle. Well my cycle came and went and my supply didn't return. I tried the nasty tea, still have some if you want it but I eventually stopped pumping. I was kinda sad about it but my son didn't mind and I felt that I did what I could for 9 months. He is 10 months now and is doing quite well on formula and is gaining weight as well. Please pm if you have any questions. Formula isn't the worst thing in the world, if your baby is happy and mommy is happy, that is good!

This happened to me as well around 9-10 months. I talked to my doctor and we agreed to supplement with regular foods, water, and cow's milk rather than formula. I know the "rule" is to hold off on cow's milk until 12 months, but his pediatrician was on board because he was eating such a wide variety of foods and exhibited no signs of allergies or other issues. Although any feelings of failure on us mothers' parts are COMPLETELY unfounded (esp. when we are trying to put such care and energy into our little ones) -- I felt like much less of a "failure" this way. My son was just advancing to big kid food a bit early. I still pumped what I could (pumped three x a day at a 9-hour job) and nursed when we were together, offering milk only when I had to. I stopped pumping around 11 months and just nursed when we were together. Eventually that winnowed down and we only nursed at night for the bonding factor. By 14 months, he was done, I was done, and we moved on to other challenges! One note on pumping -- I got less out if I tried to multitask while pumping. I would look at pictures/videos of my son on my phone, or read a parenting book. It helps to focus on your child when you pump -- the body is totally amazing. Good luck!

My baby is almost 21 months. I still breastfeed him and pump at work. When I want to up my supply, I take tow to three Fenugreek capsules about 10-15 minutes before I want to pump/nurse. I make a point of pumping for at least 20 minutes, even after it stops coming out. This tells my body that I need for it to produce more. At home, I keep my shirt off and let him go for it. When I can, I pump with the hand pump immediately before and/or after, not necessarily for the milk itself but for the stimulation. If I have a slow week, I use my weekends to recharge. On the weekends, we "sleep in" and hang out together, and I let him help me get the rhythm back. I try to keep that schedule as much as possible during the week, for maximum output when I pump. Oh, and my baby only hit 20 pound at about 19-20 months. He has always been small and very active. He's healthy, though, and eats really well.

I can't do the oatmeal, because I can't eat oatmeal. I read somewhere that ginger tea would help, so we keep ginger in the kettle on the stove. It's good for us, anyway.

At his age, it's okay that you are supplementing. And check the type of diapers you're using. These days, diapers really lock it in. Maybe he's wetter than you think.

PS. I also notice that when I don't eat enough, my production goes down.