At what point do you introduce the new boyfriend to the ex-hubby who is still very controlling?
When a serious (engagement talks, marriage talks, etc) commitment has been made. I would not introduce a "new" boyfriend to kids or ex-husband, until it is that serious. Just my opinion.
Right after you go to therapy to work out why you allow your ex-husband to be controlling.
No joke - you need to address that problem before you tackle any others.
When the new boyfriend is going to become a big part of not only your life, but the lives of your kids.
There are many types of boyfriends.
So discern that, and make that distinction.
Per your Ex, and per your kids.
Not all Boyfriend relationships, last.
Boyfriends, are.... either entertainment or life partners.
Quality or not.
Worthwhile or not.
Nice to you/your kids/family or not.
For just physicality and sex, or a real relationship.
For just fun, or just long term.
Monogamous or not.
A boyfriend of 1 month, to me, does not constitute a "Boyfriend."
That is too soon, to KNOW someone, fully.
And if you have kids, I'd do a background check.
Seriously.
I don't know how long you have known your Boyfriend.
But your kids, are the priority.
Boyfriends... come and go.
They don't all, last.
And, I would perhaps, establish your Self first, and your life, before letting a Boyfriend, have a majority place in your life.
When you are considering introducing him to your kids. Nothing scares my husband more than the losers his daughter's mother allows into her life. A parent has a right to know who is in his or her children's lives.
You have to introduce them? I'm just kidding. When the boyfriend is involved with the kids you should. Hopefully he won't go all stupid with the control thing, background is helpful b/c if he is the type to take it out on the kids tell him when you are prepared to keep the kids from him should he start doing that.
I'm iffy though because my ex is controlling, but has nothing to do with my (our) daughter so I don't know if I'd tell him b/c he's not in our lives hardly at all anyways.
Honestly, not until you are engaged or married. No reason to cause more drama than necessary, especially if you end up not together. And ideally, YOU should be the one dealing with your ex, not your bf...he should just be there as a support to you. Good luck.
My ex has the option to meet my bf, J. as I'd like the option to meet any future people involved in my daughters life from his side...he hasn;t taken M. up on it, but the option is there.....if he's impt enough to let the kds meet him, the ex should def be able to see whose going to be arnd his kids
simple, you dont.
course, if you want to piss off the ex husband, and give the new boyfriend an ego boost at the same time, all you gotta do is mention the new boyfriend's
trouser snake, nothing makes an ex more uncomfortable then hearing how "BIG" the new guy in your life is. the ex will suddenly decide that he doesnt fell comfortable around "BIG JIMMY", and he will leave both you and your new boyfriend.. alone
K. h.
Only when the boyfriend has become a big part of the kids lives. There is no reason to stir the pot if this "relationship" with the boyfriend is still new. You need to get to know him for a LOOOOONG time before you introduce him to your kids and only after he begins interacting with your kids do you need to give your ex the OPTION of meeting the boyfriend.
