B.G.
She is in HER house getting dressed. Put shades up if you don't want to look into HER house anymore!
I currently live 2 blocks from the beach which is wonderful. I have my hardwood floors, granite counters the house is just beautiful. Then I looked out my kitchen window and there stood a naked woman dressing in the bathroom. I was horrified that someone would take a shower and get out of the shower stark naked and lotion herself down in front of the window. I have a DH and my DS in the home whom I dont want accidentally running into her while making breakfast. So, I ended up seeing her one day as I was parking and talked to her about the situation. She agreed that it was irresponsible and would not do it anymore. A year later she is doing it again. I am just curious mamas what would you do? I quickly wrote a note and left it on her door, more like a nasty note. My DS is home for the summer and although he volunteers at a shelter and helps the animal shelter I cant make him volunteer 12 hours a day just to keep him out of the house. I am REALLY UPSET about this because I feel adults should be a little more responsible. I live in a really nice neighborhood and have to realize that there are unconscious people in suburban areas who do not think. Please help, I am at my wits end with this situation. She opens the window when she is dressing and closes it when she's done. How backwards it that? It should be the other way around. CRAZY RIGHT??!!!!!
Edit: Everyday ladies, really you would be ok with that? So from 6:40am to 7:40 I should keep my windows and blinds closed. Even if I want to smell the fresh beach air to flow through my window?
Edit: DS is 14 going on 15 in September. I hear you ladies.
Edit: April C. OMG! you understand. A naked man and your little girls are looking, you right, a different song would be sung. I think a lot of opinions would change. But nevertheless, I understand everyone's comment.
Thank you all for your responses. I forgot to mention that when we spoke the first time that she said someone had broken into her house 2mths earlier. There was a man scoping out women who were alone and she was the first house he broke into. She doesn't seem like someone who had their house broken in by a man who was assalting women. You would think she would be sure to cover, well, anyways.
So what happened is this morning I didnt bother to open my kitchen window at all, I just kept it closed. But, I did have a peek. The window was open but the blind was pulled down. I wasnt trying to control her or make her do what I wanted in a sense. I just wanted her to use discretion for those around her.
Thank you all for your responses they helped me more than you know. The good and bad responses, I took them all into consideration.
She is in HER house getting dressed. Put shades up if you don't want to look into HER house anymore!
I guess I'm backwards. Especially in the mornings, I OPEN the windows for sunshine and a light breeze while I shower and lotion and dress (before the sun starts to bake the house) and CLOSE them when I am done so that everythings not left open (worried about theft and extreme heat) while I'm gone. I've never worried about the neighbors staring OUT of their windows and INTO mine (that's peeping- I'm in a private bathroom for goodness sakes!) and if they do, well, they see what they see (but my guess is that at almost 200 lbs, they probably DON'T look. LOL!)
I love Rachel D.'s response...that is a great idea! It might work too. Honestly, I would be upset too. This lady is either just oblivious or an attention seeker. But, you know what? With today's technologies of computers, ipads, phones--kids see, hear and read worse stuff than a naked neighbor.
Don't mean to be mean...but it is her house - if she wants to be naked in HER house she can be. I don't think it is irresponsible to be naked in your own house or bathroom. Just me. Anyway if you don't want to see her - buy curtains. I don't think seeing a naked person occasionally will cause severe trauma for anyone in your house - really. Now if she was having sex or taking care of other business in the window...might have more of an issue. In the mean time...leave the lady alone... and stop by the curtain store today.
I have read all the responses. Looks like there are quite a few closet nudists on mamapedia. ;~))
To me this falls under the term "So What". If you don't like the view, erect a trellis and plant ivy or if you want something for your effort, plant your favorite grape vine. If you use miracle grow or something similar, you can have your trellis covered (and the view blocked) in less than a year.
The easiest way is to put some of the frosted glass covers sold by Home Depot on your windows facing her home. You can't see out. She can't see in. You get the light for your room.
Just a thought, do you always come out in your living areas fully dressed and modest enough to take a walk on the sidewalk in what you are dressed in? If you don't, then why are you complaining about her? You aren't modest and neither is she.
Unemployment is above 9%. If you count the people that have given up looking for work and those that have had their hours cut, its probably around 20%. People are losing their homes, their cars, their health insurance, etc. If this is the biggest thing you have to be worried about you are truely fortunate.
Good luck to you and yours.
Sorry but the problem is yours not hers. Maybe she opens the window to let the moisture from the shower out, maybe she like the fresh air who knows but it's her bathroom, her house, her choice to do what she wants. Buy some curtains or a screen and get on with your life. I have to laugh at the calling the cops idea. I mean really, don't you all think the Long Beach Police have a bit more important things to attend too, like things that are actually illegal?
How old is your son? 4? I am assuming he is in college since you say that he is home for the summer. Do you think he has never seen a naked woman? he has. What about your husband? He has seen naked women too!
I would be totally fine with it. In fact, if I were that woman and you had talked to me....I would have been pissed. She is in her own house. Just because you CAN look in her window doesn't mean you should. You obviously don't want to see a naked lady (for how long....15 minutes MAX?).....don't look.
I think you are really making a mountain out of a mole hill.
L.
(also, keep your windows OPEN....you breathe through your nose, not your eyes) :)
L.
Yeah if it bothered me that much then I would definitely close my windows for that period of time. I am sorry, but it is her house. I mean if she were a vegetarian and couldn't stand the sight of meat, yet here you are cooking it everyday in front of her, would you stop just to make her happy? I know it's not even remotely close but you understand what I am saying. I say close the blinds, and go on with your life.
I am stuck on the part where you are concerned that your 14 going on 15 y/o son is gonna see a naked woman at 6:40am!!!
I have a whole grip of teenage boys and not a one of them wakes up at 6:40-7:40a during summer!!!!!!!!!!
~If she is in her own house, (which you do not make it clear if this is the case) you are gonna have to change your routine...you can not dictate what someone else does in their own house!
Good Lord if I had to apologize for being naked and lotioning in my own bathroom I don't know what I'D do. If she doesn't cover her window then maybe you should cover yours. They have really nice window vinyl that look like stained glass for $20 at Home Depot. Then your family can't even take it off. Its not like she's in the front lawn or even the front living room window. I don't think this is something to be REALLY UPSET about. Its a pretty quick, and cheap fix if you ask me.
People in suburban neighborhoods are unconcious?!?!
Sorry......
I would not to anything. Really, it is her house and her choice to be naked if she wants. I know it is not ideal, but yes, I would make sure my blinds are closed during that time period. The only person you can control is you.
Have you ever seen that Roseanne episode? Be glad your neighbor is not 98 like hers was. Is this lady at least hot?
I'll be honest, I love to run around the house in the buff, and I love my large backyard with the woods behind it, noone to disturb. I close the blinds to the side and front of my house though, because it's the right thing to do. 6 windows and 2 double doors facing the back are open wide though. So yeah, you have the right to be nude in your home. You should be respectful of your neighbor's right to not get an eyeful with no warning though. If the moms that said this was perfectly fine read that this was a big hairy man prancing around with the window wide open and you had a young teen daughter, I bet they'd be singing a different song.
You've let her know twice that you would appreciate the blinds closed while she dresses. She can leave the window open, blinds even cracked the opposite direction for natural light and the breeze. After the few minutes it takes to get dressed, she could open the blinds as wide as she pleases. I would call the police because I wouldn't appreciate the show, and her intent (more than likely) would anger me more than anything else about this would. I would ALSO realize that my happiness is in my own hands and do a few things. An umbrella to block HER window (on your side) is definately a good option, as is a change in landscaping. We had neighbors on one side that were too lazy to walk to the sidewalk and were always cutting through our yard, making a little path. It wasn't pleasant---we had a large yard. So mom planted a rose garden (think thorns!) that went all the way up that border. We had NOSY neighbors on the other side that were constantly watching us, and that was annoying. Mom bought brown banana trees (4 of them) for that border. Lovely, and delicious bananas, too! My husband said when he lived with his ex, they had a pool in the backyard and a two story window behind them, so he planted hedges to block their view so he didn't feel like someone was staring down at him all the time. Hedges are good. Umbrellas may be faster and cheaper though. (ha).
ooh the more you make a stink about it - the worse it will get...
If there's space between your house and hers - put up an umbrella with a table so that HER bathroom window is "covered"
As an adult - I don't care about seeing another person's naked body...oh well...some are really nice to look at!! If hers isn't - yikes! but still...don't get wound up about it...
When you see her next - tell her she has nice boobs or something like that...or if you noticed she's got a new tattoo!! Say something funny - really - life is too short to stress over this.
Okay T., you would ABSOLUTELY have an ally in my husband....
I am a closet nudist. I sleep in the buff, and walk freely around my house like this. My husband is forever telling me to "put something on." So, lest you feel that the entire Mampedia community is allin support of the nude neighbor, at least you can rest assured that my husband, all the way over in GA, feels the same way you do (by the way, we have little girls).
Honestly though T., if this lady is dressing in her own house, I think the onus might be on you with this one. You might need to purchase a set of blinds that face your kitchen window. Now, if this lady shows up outside her front door wearing her birthday suit, then you've got a legitimate issue. Until then, you might be stuck with Lady Godiva for your neighbor.
E.
You don't want to close your window because you want the fresh air coming through... maybe that is exactly what she wants. Why does what you want trump what she want? If you don't want to see her you have to close your window and blinds.
I guess she has a nice bod and wants people to see it.
If this were my neighbor, it would be a big joke in my house. Seeing a naked lady won't harm your kids, and it will probably make hubby more hot in the bedroom.
That's me, though, I don't think my opinion will change yours.
I am truly surprised by the responses you've had.
Would those of you who think "it's her bathroom and she can do what she wants" -- consider it acceptable if your neighbor installed a bathroom facing your kitchen window -- and sat on the toilet doing her business each morning --with no attempt to conceal it? Would you simply sip your morning coffee and hope a fog rolls in? I doubt you would still say "It's her home, she can do what she wants!" The phrase "in the privacy of your own home" implies that there is in fact privacy (which in this case there is not)
Bathrooms are certainly meant to be private rooms (we close the door when we're in them). Bathrooms are the rooms that have frosted glass and (usually) perpetually drawn curtain -- not kitchens! Kitchens are supposed to be light and airy with views if possible.
The responses here are startling -- and so is your neighbor. I would talk to the police and ask them what the laws are. I remain amazed that so many people on this board have a different view.
We should alway consider how our behavior impacts those around us -- Your neighbor is clearly only thinking of herself (and I agree -- I think it's intentional.
Ok...am I the crazy one here? How can you make a person change the habits they have inside their own home? Not that I want to see my neighbors in all their naked glory, nor have them see me, in mine. But really, it probably is her right to do so inside her own home..she is INSIDE her house, in the bathroom (the appropriate room). Maybe she opens the blinds when she is in there for the natural light and to not have to turn the lights on? Who knows. If she is not ashamed of her body, etc...its probably just not something that occurs to her.
I wouldnt want to see it either...but really, the cops won't do anything, if thats what you are considering. Its not like shes doing a front window strip show at 2pm daily. She is inside her own house, in her own bathroom, doing adult things (you could be seeing far more, really! Consider that)
I would invest in some landscaping...the issue is on your side to prevent it from being seen at your house. My neighbors teen daughter was worried we were "looking at her" thru her 2nd floor bedroom window, from our 1st floor kitchen/dining room that is on the same side of the house as her bedroom (with about 80 feet of yard and a fence between)...so to appease her, her Dad planted a fast growing full type tree in their yard right in front of her window. Silly, and he knew it and now that shes older, she laughs about it too...but, now her window view is of tree branches! LOL
I'm with Rachel D. Photo op. She's asking for it, really, isn't she??
If you have space and it doesn't interfere with the layout of your yard.... plant a tree between her window and yours. ;)
I'm one who's naked in my own home, alot. I'd suggest getting curtains for your kitchen window, if all they look into is someone else's bathroom. And, I'm quite sure your husband has seen a naked woman before, and you don't say how old your son is, but he likely has also. I don't think either would be traumatized by the sight.
If she's doing it to get attention, you are obliging her.
Well she is in her house. She is bathing not having sex, so I am not sure what the police could do. I do know the first thing they will ask you is "when was the last time you spoke with her about it? And what was her response?"
Just kindly remind her you all will be there for a length of time and are concerned that your son or husband may be surprised to see into the privacy of her home.
I also would kindly ask my very mature son and faithful husband to be aware that the neighbor is not modest so they need to divert their eyes if she is having her daily "Toilette".
Now that you know this is a "quirk" of this home, figure out a way you can all deal with this..
Stop looking out the window. You only have control of your own house, not hers.
Too funny, so you want the fresh beach air but you can't figure why she opens the window only when she is showering. Granted I have a blind that goes up from the bottom and down from the top so my bits are covered, but I too open the window when I shower so I don't have a room full of steam when I am done.
Why do you need to keep the windows and blinds shut? Does she smell bad too?
Can you take a picture of what you are seeing and make a copy for her? Put it in her mail box with a note that says....thought you might want to know about what me and my kids see every morning. Please get some blinds.
I don't mind people being naked in their own home or yard.
If it makes me feel uncomfortable I look away (some people really should NOT be naked, ever...). I feel that people can do in their own four walls whatever they please, it's not like she's forcing you to look into her window.
I have certainly been guilty of running out into the living room not realizing that one of the curtains is up and hoping the neighbors didn't see me...but if they did, who really cares...
As for your son and DH, well, DH is an adult and probably has seen his share of naked female bodies, I am sure he can handle it. And your son you teach whatever you believe in, if you feel he should look away and close the curtain, then that is what you teach him.
Sorry that it makes you feel so uncomfortable....
Good luck.
It's not illegal to be naked in your own home, obviously, but it IS ILLEGAL to be naked in an area and in a way where there are going to be people that can be legally positioned (ie. not peeping) to view them from a public area like the sidewalk, street, or say looking out your kitchen window during the normal course of your day. The onus legally is on your neighbor to put a cover over her window, not for you to avert your eyes.
Edit: I'm not a lawyer but this is easy enough to look up. People have actually been arrested for things like this.
Yep, if that's when she's offending you then I guess every day from 6:40 to 7:40 you should keep your blinds closed. Or, I don't know, try just not looking out your windows on that side of the house for that period of time?
I understand you being shocked the first it happened, & I think you did the right thing by talking to her about it then, but it's really time to move on I think. Clearly she's not bothered by it & you have no course of action to take legally. You can stay angry about it or let it go, you're the one with the choice.
I am not a lawyer or nor do i work for one, but here are some facts you might like to know. First of you can not photograph her on purpose, that would be called intrusion of solitude and if she found out she could sue you for invasion of privacy. But who's to say, you had someone take of picture of you by your sink and she just happens to be in the photo background. Hence you get upset you call the cops and tell him this has happen several times, you just happen to see it in your picture this time. What she is doing is crating a public disturbance even though it is in her own home, it is in full view of you the public. So yes you do have some rights. Call 311 not 911 and explain your problem, i bet there will be plenty of cops on hand to help you. Good Luck...
Well, all you can do is tell the exhibitionist how you feel, I guess..but I mean, MAYBE, since you have asked her before, and it is disrupting YOUR home, you could report her. People aren't allowed to flash after all....maybe ask your local police?
I don't think it's a big deal prob bc I am her. Lol I don't have blinds on some of windows upstairs and my neighbors house mirrors ours. I'm sure they have seen me naked bc they never open their blinds. The other day I saw a lady butt naked across the street. She had her window open and looked to have just got out of the shower. I just looked away. I would think it was funny if my dh saw her. I'd prob go get him if I had one and show him. Just me though.
I think she is an exhibitionist and gets her jollies off of it. There's gotta be some kind of regulation about not standing nude in front of open windows.
*Added - Otherwise, call up all your girlfriends, set up some lawn chairs outside, facing her window, and have some morning coffee while enjoying the show. Maybe she'll get the hint ;-)
All you can do it ask her to be more discrete once, and from there it is up to her what she does in her own home. If you do not want to see it than look away, or close your blinds till she is done. No one has the right the tell another what they are allowed to do in their own home, regardless of what it is. So, even though this makes you uncomfortable and does seem like a strange thing for someone to do, it is her home, and her window.
You can report her for being an exhibitionist, there are tons out there and your hubby and son (and yourself) should not have to be careful everytime you look out of YOUR window. I bet if you got to the cops they'll get a kick of it and will *gladly* be on watch to see if she's a repeat offender ;-P
if she is opening them while she's naked and then shutting them, she is obviously doing it on purpose. it's not an oopsie. she's getting off on it. a lot of people like to be watched. and a lot of people like to watch. i'm sure she haas a few fans out there. talking to her isn't going to make a dent. she might even be getting off on knowing that you saw her and were bothered! if you are bothered by her display, i think your only recourse is to call the police. if they see nothing wrong with it, then you will just have to live with it.
Hello, It sounds like this woman is an exhibitionist and knows exactly what she is doing. She needs to get some curtains and hang them up. What she is doing is illegal and she needs to be stopped. I had an uncle who did this to several of us cousins. He was also a child molester. I can't tell you how happy I was when he died. I remember going to my grandmother's when I was older, married and pregnant and he walked in. I stared him down. He went into the bedroom and never came out until I left. I would do what Jls S. said to do and maybe she will get the "picture".
Good luck.
K. K.
Its her house! If she wants to stand around in it naked there is nothing you can do about it. Keep your blinds that face her window closed for that hour in the mornings. Problem solved. I'm sure you have plenty of other windows to open in the mornings that don't face her bathroom window.
I would create a higher fence or partition in my yard right where her bathroom and bedroom windows are. I would be pissed, but I can see why your neighbor may or may not care to change her habits in her own home.
OMG rachel D. I love your response. I guess it really does just depend on the person. I have no fear walking through my house naked after a shower. If the blinds are open and someone sees me, well then they shouldn't be peeping so close to my house. But I am normally pretty covered when the blinds or windows are open. I agree with rachel on taking pictures or video taping her. I say if she isn't listening to you call the cops. Especially is there are children around.
When I shower, I leave the door open AND the window shades wide open. It gets too hot in the bathroom to close the door. Now, my shower is upstairs and we have VERY tall trees that block any view and my bathroom is not right next to the window either. But, yeah, I do walk around my room with nothing on because I know the trees are blocking anyones view. Also I really don't think your son would be up that early and if he was up that early, then I would think that he would need to be somewhere so I don't think he would have time to sit and watch her. I totally understand about wanting the windows to be open for that nice ocean breeze. I just moved to VA from Laguna Beach and I do really miss that nice cool air and being able to keep the windows open all day and night.
Well... along my street there is a home with a pool and an outdoor shower. Yes, pools have outside showers. Nothing unusual about that.
But, so there was a woman, that would be showering out there, bare topped & naked, like as though no one could see her.
She could have caused a car accident.
She did this, regularly.
I saw it happen many times driving by.
People are clueless or just don't care.
I don't think the woman lives there anymore. Someone else moved in.
Wow, I was going to say maybe she just doesn't realize, but then you got to the part about the opens the window to dress and closes it when she's finished...that is very odd. I have been dressing and looked over to realize the window is open, and then have to drop to the floor and crawl away, lol-but that's a bit of a different situation than what you have here. I have no advice other than maybe investing in some kind of curtain for your window, since she obviously doesn't seem to be all that concerned with how you feel about it, and I am not sure of the legalities of this, IS what she's doing illegal?
HAHA Rachel, that is exactly that I was thinking, and I had to read all the way to the end to figure out what you said.
I like the idea of planting a hedge.
And it is her house.
Take a video and call the cops like someone said. It's not illegal, your allowed to take video/pics when they are in a public viewing (window). Knock on her door. That lady would get tired of me storming to her house every morning and the cops knocking on her door. The cops would have to put a stop to it just to shut me up :) I'm very persistent. She knows you have a son, right?
Maybe do what livinglife&lovingit suggests, I would. Like I said not illegal. It's not like your putting any effort into seeing her.
Honestly, I'd be totally rude to her. If she was doing it AGAIN. I'd knock on the window while she's naked, not the door. Wake up call for her!
I do agree with April too. Not appropriate either gender. And those are some smart fixes too.
I'm surprised how many people are okay with this. You have the right to being naked in your house, but use some tact and common sense. What if a child was walking down the street then bam, saw this naked chick? What if it was some guy and a little girl saw him in the window? Different tune? Use some common sense and practice some respect for other people. The world doesn't revolve around you just because your in your house with the windows open. It's amazing how inconsiderate people are. All of a sudden your a peeping tom because she's naked in an open window.
They make inexpensive window film that you can see out but they can't see in, maybe she needs to invest in some. Sorry, Im still shocked and taken back how many inconsiderate people there are.
@jls, My bad, I didn't think it was illegal unless it's in an actually private setting (curtains drawn), but if it is that's a smart idea lol.
UPDATE
Well from your so what happened people can see it from the street in some sense because that guy was scoping out victims and her behavior attracted him. It's not her fault, he chose to break in, but it also reminds me of the saying don't walk into fire expecting not to get burned. And your right, she should use discretion for her own safety and those around her. The world doesn't revolve around individual people, it's important to remember there are people in the world besides yourself (general yourself).
I agree that you can't control what goes on in someone else's house; you can only control your own reaction. OR -- you can put up some great screening plants. We have some Podocarpus in our backyard to screen out our neighbor's yard; we also live in So Cal so I think that might work for you, as well. It's a good-looking plant and easy to keep it to a specific size (they do grow rather tall, but can be whacked off at the top frequently). Good luck!
ok, i like sleeping nude and sometimes get way to warm and humid in the shower that i would need to crack a window., but if I KNEW you could see me and had approached me about it, I would have put a curtain up.
What i think you should do is everytime you see her get in the shower, wait exactly 3 mins until she is nice and soapy, and then run out and ring her doorbell like mad. but run away before she answers it, YIkes that could be an eyefull. Do that for a few weeks and see if she changes her habits.
Naked hairy man reminds me of "Friends". HaHa love that show.
i open my window when I shower-to let all the steam out. I do not get dressed next to the open window....I have 2 opinions, one, it's her house, she can be naked in her house. but, then I do not want to look at it either. kinda gross. why don't you yell at her to shut the window? obviously you are close enough that she can hear you.
.
My husband wants to know what she looks like. LOL
I would take a video and call the police, but that might be illegal so I would call the police and get them to come catch her in the act. Once they confront her, she will stop.
This here is what I call a high class problem.
Look I'm sorry, but exactly why did you feel the need to talk about your hard wood floors, granite counter tops and how beautiful your house is? What the hell does that have to do with anything??? You seem a little preoccupied with your status and how this may be demeaning your social standing more than the fact that your worried about your husband and son seeing this woman naked. If it's so offensive to you call the cops and tell them you have a minor in your house.
jeez i wonder if u can report her to the police..say she's flashing?? weird..i would keep my blinds closed..i had a friend that was a stripper..always walking around naked..perhaps she's one? or else..F it..don't sweat it and if the guys see her naked so be it..would be funny if she saw them looking and laughing..but she obviously has no class..or perhaps just doesn't care..i think i would ignore it and if your son sees a naked lady then he sees a naked lady ..he's 14..i think he may have an idea about what one may look like ..that's pretty early in the morning too..does he have time to look that early? Hope it works out for you...sounds like a strange neighbor