A Little Wisdom, Guidance, Opinions, Whatever You Got...

Some of my childhood dog's ashes are planted under a dog wood tree in my mom's backyard. Some are spread in the park where he was most delighted.

We cried, and cried, and cried after he was put to sleep. Cried until there was nothing left inside.

Big hugs. You are not a weirdo for having big feelin's around this. You loved that dog and miss 'em. That's okay, right?

Awww Theresa, I'm sorry :(

I'd be doing the SAME thing you're doing, so I've got nothing but love!!

I have the ashes of my two dogs. I put them in a pretty box with some mementos. Such as, a piece of their beds, their collar and leash, favorite toy, and many photos of happy times. This way they are with us and comforting things and I can look in the box when I think of them.

OOH Theresa!!! I'm sooo sorry!!!

I have never chosen to keep the ashes - just for this reason. it never seems to be good enough place to him or love him!!!

I'm soooooooooo sssssooorry!!! I know the pain and the loss.

I would spread the ashes and then donate the urn - maybe back to the vet for some family who can't afford it?

Hugs girlfriend!!

I'm really sorry about the loss of your pet. It's obvious to me that you aren't ready to "let her go" just yet. I think the appropriate spot and time will present itself. Don't rush it.

A pet is part of the family, of course it takes a long time to get over. Don't be so hard on yourself. I say - keep the ashes and urn somewhere in the house - but not where you are going to see it and burst into tears all the time (in a cedar chest? high on a bookshelf? I don't know). I think that by spring the acute grief will have passed, and you'll be able to decide where to put the ashes.

Of course, maybe I'm a freak too, because I shed a few tears when something reminded me of my dog for a few years after he died. And my parents kept the same dog's ashes at their house for a few years until my dad was ready to bury them at our camp. And that is his final home now.

During the course of my 2 dogs lives, we had professional photos made of them...separately. They were born 6 months apart and died 6 months apart. After their passing...I hung both pictures on the wall in my office at home....below, a shelf with the urns..in the middle...a smaller photo of me holding both of them. I wanted them to remain close to me...it gave me some comfort. I don't think you are crazy...I couldn't even take a shower for 6 days after the last one passed, it made me feel alittle better going to my vet and talking to her about my depression...it may seem alittle extreme to some...but a real animal lover will understand. I feel for you.

Ok, I totally get your craziness about this... I'm crazy too...

And have lost a beloved pet, so I get it.

Here's what I'd do, for what it's worth. I have a problem with giving inanimate objects feelings, so to be thinking what the dog's ashes would 'feel' does not sound all that out there to me!

I'd want the dog close to family. I'd wrap the ashes, probably urn and all, in a soft, warm cloth or blanket, with something that the dog loved, a ball, a sock, something from home... and bury it in the woods by your house.

It won't be easy no matter where you put it, but I'd want it close, and warm, and with something from home.

That's my $ .02. So sorry for your loss. It takes a while to move on, doesn't it?

I'm sobbing , reading your post. I would have all the same challenges. Take your time, the right time and place will come.

I don't know if this would help, but what if you bury the whole thing? Urn and all....then you wouldn't have to worry about what to do with it afterwards. I would say put it in the woods and plant a tree/bush nearby that would blend into the surrounding foliage. Then you would have a place to go to remember the dog closer to home. I know how hard it is to lose a pet....we lost our dog of 10 yrs on Mother's Day (I know what a day). It is hard, but you probably loved her just like one of your own children. You need to grieve for her just like you would anyone else. Have a service for her and let everyone tell the best memories of her. Good luck.

Half it at the lake and home. I did that for my fathers ashes. He loved Cedar Pointe so on all of the roller coaster rides I sat in the very last seat and released and little bit. I had made like 6-7 little baggies of his ashes ahead of time and just had a blast screaming and letting go. Now whenever we go to the Pointe I know he is there in spirit. You can do it, I know its had and this will make you stronger. And just remember she is in a safe place and will always be in your heart.

You are emotional with no frame of referance, so lets look at it another way.
We no longer need our bodies when we pass. It's a vessel, just like that urn. Once the ashes are out of it, what do we need it for? So goes our body. The dog is NOT the ashes, because that is just the remnants of the vessel. Spreading the ashes is a memorial service. It's symbolic. It's a way to say goodbye, designed to help the living let go, not to help the ones that have passed. So, the dog will not be cold or alone. The dog is no longer in that vessel. The dog is happy and playing in puppy heaven and does not want to see his family struggling.
If I were you, I would have a memorial in the woods. Let everyone say goodbye, and spread the ashes. That way when you really miss your dog, all you have to do is take a walk in the woods to feel close. Then take the urn to the back yard and bury it. Looking at it causes you grief and guilt. Burying it will help to let it go, but keep it close to home at the same time. 100 yrs from now when we are all gone, someone will find the urn and the legend of your pup will live on.

I have an empty urn I made for my cat. He was an orange and white half manx half tabby, so I threw a pot and glazed it in his colors.

When he was 19 he just VANISHED. Went out in the morning and never came home. I was a wreck for weeks. Longer. I thought I saw him YEARS later and slammed on my breaks, and did my special whistle for him...much to the irritation of the lady who owned the cat, and who -not being my cat, of course- didn't come.

I know he went off in the woods to die (or he finally lost a fight with a coyote or an eagle... both of whom he'd attack without a 2nd though... btw... just TRY and stand there with Fish and Game, explaining it was the CAT who killed the immature bald eagle - fortunately, autopsy confirmed, because that's a felony in our state). But even though my BRAIN knows that, my heart doesn't. I got him when I was 11, and he was my best friend. He half raised my son. I still get sick to my stomach thinking someone might have stolen him, or taken him to the humane society (he had a collar with tags, but wasn't chipped), or tortured him to death (he disappeared around Halloween), or, or, or.

So I don't have his ashes, and I don't know what happened to him. But I do have his "urn".

I am so sorry for the loss of your pet. My family has been through 4 dogs in about 10 years. It's awful! Every time we had to have one put down, we received their ashes and up on the mantle they went. We had taken our one dog Solomon to a vet specialist and they do a paw print for us so that's up on the mantle as well. Our dogs are our babies. Every time I must dust "them", I cry but I couldn't part with them. I feel that they are our babies and they must stay at home with us. We just had Lily put down almost a year ago (Oct. 29th will be a year) and I still get tears thinking about her.

I am so sorry to hear of your pet's death.
I come from the same crazy stock.
My dad found his cat one morning at the bottom of the stairs. He had passed sometime that night. Since it was winter, he put Frankie in the freezer until the ground thawed. He is buried out there with all of my childhood pets. If you plan on being in that home for a long time I would start a little pet gravesite. Put a little headstone on the pup's site and bury him there, urn and all.

Theresa,
As you know, we lost our dog in August. It's REALLY hard...I know.
He dies at home and we buried him on our property. That's what seemed right for us.

Work much experience in the death care business, I just wanted to tell you that there are a LOT of options for honoring/remembering a lost pet.

So, forgive the clinical tone of this post--just listing some options for you that you may or may not be aware of:
•Display the urn with ashes, in your home. It's OK to wait til you feel comfortable!
•Bury the urn and ashes in your yard/property
•Bury only the ashes on your property and display the urn.
•If it's the "urn" itself you object to--there are SO many options out there than what you most likely were shown for selection.
•Consider putting the picture inside the urn for now (might be too painful right now) and having her name& dates engraved if it's not already.

Pet cemeteries are great places for options. You can:
•Have the urn put in a glass fronted niche (like a bookcase with compartments, so you can see it when you visit..
•Have the ashes of your dog scattered in a scattering area with her name on a memorial plaque nearby
•Buy a small lot and have her urn buried there and you can purchase a marker for the grave
•There is special jewelry that allows you to keep a tiny bit of the cremains in a wee compartment so you can wear her near to your heart every day.
Soooooo many options.

Nothing wrong with waiting a while til you get your head around what feels *right* to YOU. You will know in time what to do.

But know this--she's not going to be alone, or cold or lonely whatever you decide--she's still living in your heart.

((hugs))

Our sweet doggie's ashes are in a nice wooden box on our bookshelf.

Our long term plan is when my husband finishes building the raised flower beds in our garden area...we are going to get a little plaque to put on the front of the stones and have a memorial flower bed in her honor. We will bury her ashes in the bed.

She will be with us always in her yard where she loved to lay in the sun and dig up the flowers...

Theresa...you are not a freak.

Our beloved Leena passed almost 2 years ago. We chose to have her ashes spread in the doggie graveyard, so she could be with all the other dogs. She was a pack animal, she loved other dogs, she loved her babies(my kiddos). As much as I would have wanted to her to be with her babies, I know we chose the right place.

When you find the right place for your fur baby, you will know.

My mom had her dog's ashes buried next to her father (who the dog belonged to until he died.) They just went to the cemetery, dug a hole, and put the entire urn in.

You obviously don't want to keep the ashes or have that reminder staring you in the face...so why not bury them?

I am sorry for your loss.

I am so sorry!! You are a funny lady and it makes me sad to hear that you are sad. Maybe you could have a little burial plot in the backyard and you could go there when you are feeling sad.

You are not a freak! We have a maine coon and I tell ya, when he goes I am going to be a MESS!! they are a part of the family, but, remember the best part of him you have in your heart and your memories. The only thing your holding onto is a container and his shell. Really, let it go. Maybe spread the ashes and bury the urn. Either way how you do it does not dictate how much you loved your dog or how much you care about what happens! Whats going to happen when your old pass on, do you kids inherit the ashes too!!

Don't decide yet, Teresa. It's too soon. Wait til spring. You will feel better then and what you want will be more clear after all these months.

I'm sorry your dog died - that's really hard.

Would you consider splitting up her ashes? Some at the lake, some in the woods and some still in the urn with you?

Aww, Theresa, the death of a family member is so hard, especially when she was so endlessly loyal and loving and present and ALIVE.

Grieving is really hard, and also really important. I heard a lovely saying once that really resonates for me. I can't quote it exactly, but it's something like, "The heights our souls can reach equals the depths our souls have touched." That would include sorrow.

It sounds to me like you (and your family) haven't had time to memorialize her. This long-practiced wisdom is for the survivors of the lost one, and it's important. It helps us process our pain and find the happiest and most loving memories again, the ones that will sustain us as we grieve.

If you can find an hour or two in which you won't be disturbed, how about sitting with, maybe even holding/hugging the urn, and just talking to your lost love? Tell her all your feelings, the joys and loves and wishes and regrets, all the things you adored about her, all the things you forgive her for. Cry like a baby for as long as you must. Then get your family involved. Light some candles (or any ceremonial gesture that feels meaningful to you), play some sweet music, and sit around the urn so others in the family can have the same opportunity to mourn together.

You'll still feel sad. But I'll bet you'll handle it better, and your kids probably will, too. Even if they're not grieving outwardly, you mentioned that they had this dog from when they were small. This is a big change for all of you. And they can probably help make a decision about what to do with the ashes. That shouldn't be on you alone.

I know what you're feeling. I have a few pets from my past whose memories still wander into my head often. But now it's mostly with wags, purrs and chirps.

So sorry for the loss, and now the heartache over what to do.
Our beloved GSD is still with us (even after a terrible scare over a year ago) and I haven't lost a pet since I was a kid (I went many years without one, then a cat that eventually never came home). As a kid, we had many dogs and cats over the years. What we always did (back in the day before all the official funerary services were so available for pets) was bury them somewhere near the rear of the yard. You can always put a stone or something over it. But then they are always near you and yours. And in "home territory" so to speak.
Perhaps you might want to bury the urn with the ashes still in it? I mean, nobody says you have to dump them out and scatter them, right? You could bury the entire thing if you wanted.
Many have said to wait longer to decide. And maybe they are right. Or perhaps having a burial would bring you some closure?
Blessings!

I know my circumstances are a bit different, but I can relate.... my little brother (30) passed away last fall. We had him cremated and we were going to bury him this Spring and then sprinkle some of his ashes in the woods where he would go deer hunting with my Dad and brother. My Mother had the unfortunate experience of having to pick him up at the funeral home and keep his urn until this past Spring. Long story short... we couldn't part with him being buried, so we are sprinkling 1/2 in the woods where he went deer hunting and keeping his urn as a constant reminder of the brother/son/uncle we all had! Best of Luck!

This is why I always get the box of ashes. Much easier to take care of. After all none of my pets were urn kinda of pets, ya know? They were bury under favorite trees kinda dogs.

The urn is a sunk cost and no part of the dog. Accept it means nothing and go back to doing what you felt was best in the first place. :)

Hold onto them til you're ready to let them go. Remember that the spirit of whoever or whatever has passed is no longer there in the remains. There is no need to worry about her being alone or cold any more than there is a need for me to worry about my grandfather literally sleeping with the fishes (he was an avid fisherman and the family scattered his ashes at sea). This "final resting place" is more about you than her.

Have you considered a potted plant? Friend is an apartment dweller and got a large pot and put a plant in it. She uses that for the remains of her departed pets and can always take them with her when she moves.

As for the urn....maybe turn it into a vase?

Our dog's ashes are on the front and center shelf in my son's room, where they have been for 4 years. When we first got them, I couldn't deal, so I left them in the paper wrapping on the back deck for a year, where they got rained and weathered on. When I finally opened them, I was shocked to see the beautiful box and nameplate.

Keep 'em.

First I am sorry that you had to put her down. A couple of years ago I had to put down both my cats. So I understand how upsetting it is. I took their bodies back home and buried them in the yard, they were in a basket together and wrapped with a blanket. (At the time I lived in PA on over an acre and no laws against it there). The down side is it that now I am in Florida and they are still in PA.

I would suggest burying the ashes either in your yard (so if you move you can take it back out and with you) or in a pet cemetery. I think either way you and your family can have closure.

I had my cat for 16 years. I still have his ashes in a very nice wooden urn. I do not have the heart to do something with them. He has been gone for almost 17 years. My kids know about him and the ashes. We recently lost our cat and her ashes are in a nice urn. I don;t think my kids would stand to do something else with them. The urn sits in our china cabinet in the kitchen where they can look at it if they want to. It is hard to part to something so close.

Big hug to you, it is so hard losing a beloved family member like that. Hey, we had to put down our long hair Chi 3 years ago and I STILL get misty-eyed at times just thinking about her. She was my first baby, after all! I bawled under the covers for a month straight after she was gone. Anyway, I like Lee's suggestion ... and Diane C's as well about maybe waiting a bit until the acute grief is over. I'm so sorry for the lost of your baby!

Im sorry for you loss...I would definitely keep it on the bookshelf. You might eventually have the need to hold it and cry some more or just look at, hold it and bring back all the good moments you once shared together. You are now in the grieving process. Let time guide you and tell you when your are ready to let go. You will then find the perfect place for it, perhaps it will be the lake or maybe your back yard.
Hope you feel better soon! Sending you a big bear hug!

I think you just need give yourself some time to adjust before deciding what to do. Right now it seems macabre/inappropriate/something negative. Maybe in a little while it will be better. Or then again it may be the same. At least you gave yourself some time and space to decide in a better state of mind. If it is any consolation, we buried our two dogs complete with headstones and such at the family ranch. We are glad we have some place to go to visit them.

To cheer you a bit here's how burying our second dog went. The poor dog crashed the morning after I got home from a week long business trip. I had to rush him to the emergency vet to have him put down. It was a miserable experience and horrible timing since it was a Sunday. I knew we wanted to take him out to the ranch to bury him next to our other dog but there just wasn't time. So I asked the vet what to do and they said oh no worries we can freeze him. Gulp. So I let the vet freeze our dog. That was fun to explain to my husband. Anyway we picked our dog up very early the next Saturday morning for the ride out to the ranch. The vet insisted we ID our dog and that was just beyond description. My husband had to carry this giant box (aka "coffin") containing our dog to our car. We got some funny looks and honestly the box was big enough for a Mastiff so our little Pug was rattling around in there. The ride itself was surreal. We had this giant box between us with our beloved dog sliding around like a mammoth ice cube with us trying to just chat like there’s nothing amiss. We stopped for breakfast and my husband patted the box, saying “Look, big guy, we just can’t eat in here with you but we’ll be right back. Don’t go anywhere.” Sigh. Men and their sense of timing. The road to the ranch was a washboard road due to construction so the poor dog rattled the whole way. Finally we got to the ranch and my in-laws graciously helped us with the proceedings. We were trying not to cry but the final straw was when my FIL laid our dog in the grave. My MIL starts yelling at him in Spanish. So with one foot in and one foot out of the grave my FIL starts flipping our poor dog around and over and around again with my MIL constantly yelling at him in Spanish. In the background my husband is yelling in Spanish at his mother and trying to translate the proceedings to me. Once he was facing the correct direction, calm was restored but not the dignity. It’s funny now and very fitting for our dog since he was a bit off the beaten track.

Wait until you feel better, give it time! And don't feel bad. I worked at a vet and some people couldn't pick the ashes up for months on end.

I don't know your beliefs, but I believe that dogs are special creatures that go to heaven too. So even though her little ashes are spread at the lake, or home with you, or part of them stay at the lake and part of them stay with you... that her little spirit will be happy and waiting for you all, regardless where her remains are.

You could also bury the urn/ashes and plant a pretty little flowering shrub or garden stone over it.

My parents kept the urn and have a special place in their house for our beloved german shepard, Samson. They could not part with him, and like that he is always there with them.

H Teresa,
I'm so sorry :o( I see you have a lot of answers so don't know how helpful mine will be, we have our two dogs ashes in our bedroom on a bookshelf. There's been talk of bringing them where we vacation, but that's several states away and Im not keen on that idea. We've even talked about putting both tins (we didn't get an urn) with whichever one of us dies first. Either bury them with one of us or mix the ashes together and spread them together. But right now, they're on our room (where they both slept). Putting our dog(s) down was probably one of the most difficult things we've ever had to do. We had our dogs before we had our children so they were like our "first kids". And you don't have to decide right now. Keep the ashes where you have them for awhile. There's no reason why you have to spread them now. Sending big hugs!!!

Theresa I can't offer any better advice - you got alot of good tips. Other than to say you are so not crazy!!!! I have 2 dogs and I can't BEAR to think about when that time will come. Your post made me cry, and I never knew your dog. I personally think give it time but liked the idea of spread half the ashes at the lake, the other half stay in the urn, bury it in your yard, with a favorite blanket of his around it. Plant a beautiful rose bush or something on top of it to remember him by.

Hugs hugs hugs Theresa....this stinks. They are definitely part of our family. We had our first dog before we had kids. She still sleeps in our bed...even though we are busy with 3 little ones, we always give love to our dogs. They get less walks now than before, but we still walk them every day, and make sure they get love from us!

I think it's lovely that you care so much... If she was a large dog, there are a surprising number of ashes. I put some in strategic places that meant a lot and had the most memories (weeping all the while) and then kept some in a smaller, pretty decorated container. We didn't have an urn, so I don't know what to suggest about where that could be put.

I am so sorry gurl friend!

All our pets who have passed were buried in fields.

It has nothing to do with where to put her at rest. You are having a hard time because you do not want to let your dog go....thus the urn with you 24/7. She is already gone and you are holding on to her ashes instead of her memory. She's not going to be mad at you if you "leave" her ashes at the lake or in the woods. She already knows you loved her. She's running around with my dog in pet heaven and having a ball. She's not concerned as to where you lay her earthly body to rest...she's already at rest.

How is this effecting your kids with them having her ashes in the house on display? Forgive me, but it's like having a toy on the top shelf and not being allowed to play with it.

Take her back to the lake..have a little ceremony and move on.

Nanc

Hi Theresa,

I am so sorry for your loss! I would do whatever makes you and your family happy. If you want to keep her on your shelf, do that-if not-do what makes you feel comfortable. Take your time and don't rush---you have as much time as you need to grieve and make decisions about this.

M

I think you have plenty of time to decide what to do. You don't have to make a decision about this right now. It's okay that you're undecided. So what if for now, you put the urn in the attic or something? I really don't think that your furbaby would mind and he'd completely understand. After all, he's gone over the Rainbow Bridge and he's not really in that urn. Only his physical remains are there. The part that made him your friend has moved on.

My sweet Callie (English Springer Spaniel) sits on a bookcase in an urn
next to her granite memorial with her picture in my family room (sorry for
long sentence). Three years later, I still cry when I think about her I have
her picture on my dresser. My husband also tears up. She was one in a
million. I even did a memorial page on petloss.com. Every now and then
I go back to it and read it. Can't believe what I wrote (Callie, 5/97 to 11/28/08). You can go to it and read it and then you will know you are not
alone. I feel your pain. If you need therapy, I need to be in the home. Keep
your sweet dog on the shelf is my suggestion.

It's totally fine to hang onto the urn until you figure out the Right Thing. The Right Thing will eventually come to you--says the woman with her dead cat's ashes sitting in her bedroom for the last 15 months. We were going to have a ceremony on the 1 year anniversary but it never happened. But I imagine the the cat is either fine in a quiet corner or dead and doesn't care. I doubt you need therapy (unless you are so depressed you can't function or something) and I am trained to do therapy. BTW, there are people who will spin your pet's hair into yarn and knit something with it as a keepsake so your story is not the craziest I've ever heard.

I am so sorry for the loss of your dog. We never had our pets cremated, we've buried all of them on our own property. Good luck

First and foremost, I am so sorry for your loss. Second, I have been there several times and I will share with you what I did. We always buried our animals and have a little pet cemetary at my family's house in the woods with tombstones and all. Our beloved Golden passed away in the middle of February (freezing cold...ground rock hard). She was 85lbs so there was no way we could bury her. We decided to creamate her. She sat on our fireplace mantle for at least a year with her picture etc. She was always in the middle of things too so we figured in our family room was best. We always thought that we would bury her in the spring but never did. She now sits (along with one of our other dogs who passed) on a shelf in our bedroom along with their pictures and a favorite toy. They are still with us and we talk about them to our daughter (who didn't know them) quite a bit. She knows of them like she knew them and that warms our hearts. So, don't feel like you have to rush into making a decision right away. Take some time and do what feels best. It's incredibly sad to lose a pet but it sounds like it's even making you sadder agonizing over what to do. Give it some time and the right answer will come (or like in our case, the place she ended up turned out to be the best spot for her). Good luck ((HUGS))

Our beloved Rosie was tragically killed when she ran after a cat and hit by a car, on our very quiet street when we had an electric fence. Our kids were asleep, husband was devastated, it was his first pet. I brought her to the emergency vet but she didn't make it. The vet cut some of her hair for us and gave the kids dog angel pins. When we got her ashes we buried the entire thing along with her favorite toy. I helped the kids make her a stepping stone for her and we planted a rose bush (for Rosie). We had a ceremony and it helped the kids have some closure. We read the rainbow bridge poem and all cried. It's been 2 years, sometimes my son goes there to talk to her still. It's sweet and has really helped them to deal with death. Plus we openly talk about how sometimes we still miss her. Even though we have a new dog, she's different and we never stopped loving Rosie. You might want to have some sort of ceremony and use thus as an opportunity to teach your children how to grieve. I'm sorry fir the loss you all feel. Good luck.

I have my Buster's ashes. I got a shadow box, put his "baby" in there a picture of him, his food bowl, his collar, and his ashes. I put his name and birthdate and death date as well as a tuft of his hair. (The box isn't huge, but it's deep so the bowl fits on its side with the urn in it showing the top.) I hung it in my family room. Yea, I still cry when it's his birthday or when he died. Most times I whisper an I miss you as I walk past it. I still cry for him. It's been just over 2 years but I know it was the right thing to do for him and he was ready.

You do whatever brings you peace. You'll always have sorrow.

I am so very sorry for your loss.

My wonderful dalmatian Tino is on his bed next to my bed, with his collar, blanket, paw print casting and photo. But...he's in a box and has been for 10 months. I hate that. I can't believe something that left such a HUGE hole in my heart fits into such a small box. I haven't gotten an urn for him yet or know what to do. His box is literally stained with my tears as I tell him goodnight each night.

We got a new dalmatian last week and I want to let him upstairs to our room but I don't want him on Tino's things and I'm not ready for a new dog to sleep next to me. My heart breaks every time I think of Tino even though I immediately fell in love with this new dog. My 3 year old son talks about when mommy cries because even he knows the reason for my sudden and still-frequent tears.

We also have a small memorial (although I didn't realize until now that is what it is) in a public area of our home with a stone dedicated to him, another photo and the lovely cards that were sent after his death. This is alongside a similar tribute to our cat that passed away the year before. I can't pass the mantle without missing both of them so much.

The day the vet came to let Tino rest forever, I wrote his obituary to help me express my love for him, which was shared with others that cared about him. I also blogged about what he meant to me as a family member and how he was more than a dog but a "big brother" to my son. I'd be happy to share those with you if you'd ever like to read them. The blog link is here but the obit I'd have to send. Everyone has said that was really wonderful.
http://itsnotforthesqueamish.blogspot.com/2011/01/four-le...

I guess this doesn't help you make your decision at all, but maybe you can take comfort in knowing others understand your grief. I, too, can't or don't want to move on. My facebook photo is still Tino, I run in his honor - even writing his name on all of my race shirts - and I am crying just typing this.

Hugs and puppy love to you.