Our best friends wanted to go see Social Distortion tonight, and we're been dying to go but couldn't afford it. Months ago we saved and paid for our tickets, as did our 2 friends (married couple). We never get to go out, and we never get to go out with them without everyone's kids... so tonight was really exciting and special. We never would have gone by ourselves.
Well the husband is now like 'I don't want to go' because he's in a funk. Wife said he drank too much last night and has been testy today, but even still, she doesn't want to go without him. I'm a little hurt because they know we never would have done this for ourselves, paid for the concert, babysitter, etc. It's a really, REALLY big deal to me. It upsets me a bit that they can just throw that money away and not go when they know how tight money is for us. I don't know... I'm trying not to be so bummed out but I was really REALLY excited about this and I feel like it's falling apart :( You know what I mean? The one nice thing you have to look forward to just got screwed up.
Anyway, I spoke with the wife, she really does want to go, but not without her husband (because he would say 'go' and then be mad about it)... I'm going to have my fiance call him and try to talk him out of his funk, but I don't think it will work, and I know he's going to be bummed out too... which means we're going to *try* to make this into a date night, but really be there together wishing our friends were there too.
I know that's so silly, but it's how we are. These friends are our best friends and considered family. Has anyone convinced you to go to something you weren't crazy about going to? What did they do or say to make you change your mind? Anything is worth a shot at this point... I (very honestly) told the wife to go ahead and get ready because we'll be at their house at 7:30pm, and we're kidnapping her husband ;) I'll do it too!.... but I'd like to attempt to verbally get him to go first ;)
The wife was reeeeeally upset about not going, but her husband held his ground. We ended up having a blast, the concert rocked, everyone was complimenting me on my hair (wow, THAT felt nice), and my guy proudly held me on his arm the entire night :)
You should totally still go whether the other couple wants to or not. Once you get there, you'll have fun-it's Social Distortion!
Sir Drinks-a-Lot needs to put on his big boy pants. Be ready to give him a brewski when you arrive to kidnap him; the hair of the dog that bit him will work wonders. Only you know if he'll "let" himself be talked into going or if he'll dig his heels in and act jerky all night. Most people I know might initially resist, but then get carried away by the fun of the evening. Let him know that he's going to have a lot of hangovers in his life but Social Distortion is TONIGHT ONLY (at least for you guys)!!!
Personally, I wouldn't want to spend the evening with someone who has to be dragged there.
If he doesn't want to go why would you want to go with him? Trust me when I say he's probably doing you a favor, who wants to go with someone when they are in a "funk".
What they do with their money is their business, I don't see why you would take offense to that, it's not a personal shot at you.
I think you are being a little overly sensitive about it. If I didn't want to go somewhere I would be pretty ticked of if they showed up at my house insisting that I go, it's a bit juvenile. I think you and your fiance need to look at this as a "date night" just the two of you and enjoy the evening to yourselves.
Go go go go go go go go and did I mention GO! Who cares if your friends don't go. He doesn't sound like he'd be fun to go with anyway. Who cares if it's not something your would normally do? Just go do it! The tickets are bought, the babysitter is scheduled. I'll bet you'll have loads more fun with just the 2 of you than if his cranky butt went anyway!
I say you and your husband go, have a great time, and then tell them how they missed out on a great show!
I'm concerned that you and your man can't go out to something special without your "so called" best friends.
I suggest you go and forget about these people who clearly do not value your friendship or needs to do something that you have planned in advance.
Your husband should by NO means call a beg some hung over loser to PLEASE change his mind.
Find some real friends.
Blessings....
GO! Have a great time! Make a decision here and now to not let YOUR happiness be affected or disturbed by anyone else's. You are responsible for your own happiness. If your friends can't be happy and come like they planned, then let them sulk at home! You wouldn't want the husband to come and spoil the fun for everyone by his sour attitude. So go and have a great time! Good luck!
Molly
I know you're disapointed but you're going to see Social Distortion...their extreme loss, not yours.
Of course, this is very disappointing for a number of reasons. I suggest that you just have to accept your friends' choice and make the best of it for yourselves. Do not let their decision ruin your evening! Then you'd have a total loss. You can accept your disappointment, put aside your anger, and go and have a good time. It's a practice in flexibility.
Yes, this has happened to me more than once and I've done it to friends at least once. Not for those reasons but everyone was still disappointed. This sometimes happens, It's life. How we handled it was to find different friends to go with us. A couple of times we've given all the ticket to other people, who offered to pay for them.
There is another important difference between your experience and mine. I've not purchased tickets I couldn't afford. I'm sure that factor makes this situation even more difficult for you. But because you wanted to see the program badly enough to buy the tickets I urge you to go, have a good time, and mark this off as a learning experience.
What you learn is up to you. Perhaps you won't trust these friends in the future. Perhaps you'll only take a risk when you can afford it. Perhaps you'll buy the tickets with the idea that the program is important even if the friends back out.
I have declined an invitation to dinner when I was depressed and my friend showed up anyway and once they were there in person I did go with them. Perhaps this will work with your friends. But don't be too disappointed if it doesn't. And, for the sake of the relationship be diplomatic and not pushy in an angry way.
Accept that he doesn't want to go,thats his choice.I believe at this age nobody should be forced to do anything. You are all grown ups.
Go with your man and have a fantastic night.
Enjoy!
B. k
I am sorry....All I can say...is that sucks....and to the drunkard who spoiled everything....You dumb Partypooper!
Tell Rob to pull his head out of his butt! this is EXACTLY what you guys need!! Don't worry about what someone else thinks - you've paid for the tickets! GO!!!!!!
I totally understand your disappointment but I wouldn't force it.
You say you never go out with your fiance so make the best of it and have a good time together!
You should absolutely go. Just shift your mind set a bit from a friend night to a really exciting date night. My husband and I have been together for 20 years. We have had the same two couples as best friends that whole time and we do a lot of concerts, vacations, parties etc with them we have a blast. But at least once or twice a year just the two of us go to a concert, see a live band, have a "date overnight" in a local hotel or even go to a party where we don't know many people. It is so much fun! Yes, different than spending the evening with friends and that's special too but something about being sort of anonymous out in the adult world with just your guy is really fun. We talk more to people around us we'd otherwise ignore, do things more spontaneously with no one elses opinions to consider. It's really fun and bonding, all date nights do not have to be dinner and a movie! You paid for the tickets and are excited to go, a Social D concert is the perfect place to lose yourself and just have fun....JUST GO!
Just GO!!! Forget them if they bail, but maybe bring your girlfriend along if her hubs still refuses. I saw Social Distortion yeeeears ago (with Suicide Machines I think?) and it was a great show!
And yes, this has happened to me.... I got talked into going to a rodeo... expensive tickets, then everyone bailed and I wasn't even that interested in going in the first place. But I still went and had fun. Another time, I had tix to see 311, my friend broke her leg and I was scared to go alone... so I sold our tickets. I still am bummed about not going and it was like, 10 years ago.
I would be bummed too because of the plan. Solo nights are all good and dandy, but if you planned a social night, it's a different expectation. I think you can still have a good time even if they don't go - but hopefully your man can talk his frined out of the funk. I know I normally feel better and have fun if I just get my tail out of the door in the first place. I hope it works out, but I also hope you guys have a fabulous time either way!
Are they normally like this?
Sounds like they're not really that great of friends, to be honest. Let me get this straight - the husband is now being a baby & doesn't want to go because he for some reason still doesn't know his drinking limits, & the wife is giving in & staying home with him to avoid him throwing a tantrum. He sounds like a jerk & that doesn't sound like a healthy marriage, to be honest.
Real friends wouldn't coax you into doing something you a) couldn't really afford & b) you weren't really that into AND THEN proceed to bail at the last minute for b.s. reasons. That's just crappy. Screw them, stop feeding their egos & begging them to go, and enjoy what sounds like a super fun date night with your hubby. They've already put a huge damper on the night, they really don't deserve any more of your energy, and they sure as hell aren't worth the effort of being "kidnapped".
To me, it almost sounds as if there is another reason they are not going (maybe they are fighting at the moment) and they don't want to tell you. Either way, personally, I can't stand flaky, selfish people, so I would probably be taking a break from them or reevaluating the friendship.
I agree with your last thoughts, simply kidnap these people and bring them!!!
what does their financial situation have to do with yours?
or their relationship dynamic, for that matter.
i can understand being disappointed that you won't enjoy their company, but other than that, it's really not any of your beeswax.
go enjoy the concert.
khairete
S.
How thoughtful of him to consider your feelings. Take over a bottle of champagne-that should help.
